choublak

It comes across to me like insincere group rote prayer that is conducted over loudspeakers, printed in church bulletins, and recited in unison. I know some people will be offended but that's how I feel.

hellomynameis

Sometimes just saying it over and over and over again is what it takes for some people to finally get the words....to finally understand what those words are trying to say to them. and so...for some of us, that is what it takes

choublak

For me, repeating something over and over again will just make it an impersonal, endless loop of the same words, over and over again.

SparkleKitty

shrugs

It's a subjective experience, and your perception of it is perfectly valid. Others will perceive and experience differently.

honeypig

I intensely dislike this about Alanon meetings also. However, I derive enough benefit from the meetings that I "grin and bear it" thru the closing. The prayer may sound rote and insincere, but nothing else that I have heard at the meeting sounds that way, so to me, it's worth it.

choublak

I guess.

It just seems too much like praying the Rosary.

Which, if it helps you that's great; it just doesn't do much for ME.

m1k3

What prayer are you talking about? We closed with a moment of silence and Let It Begin With Me.

Your friend,

readerbaby71

I'm not a fan either. I just kind of grin and bear it, and take what I can get from the meeting and the people in it.

Hammer

yep.

In Texas, it is generally "The Lord's Prayer," followed by "Keep Coming Back, It Works If You Work It."

Funny part for me is going to regular church. When they do the Lord's Prayer together, I just keep on going and you can hear me saying "Keep Coming Back . . . ." I drop off and folks look over to see what that was about.

I suppose for some variation we could do some Pastafarian Prayer at the end.

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honeypig

I LIKE this idea!

I think what choublak is referring to is the common (in my area, anyway) practice of closing the meeting w/the "Our Father" and then while everyone is still holding hands, everyone kind of pumps their arms up and down and chants KEEP going BACK, it WORKS if you WORK it, and you're WORTH it! (Pump downwards on the bolded words, upwards on the others) I've heard that called the "Alanon cheer!"

I dislike praying the "Our Father" but I really, really, actively hate that hand-pumping thing. However, everyone else seems to derive some sense of unity or SOMETHING from it, so far be it from me to insist that the rest of the world cater to me or conform to my wishes....part of what Alanon is all about, right?

Hammer

One guy reaches over at the end and grabs me in the butt.

Claims that is part of his tradition.

Should I have a problem with that?

honeypig

Thinking that is a highly personal decision, Hammer...! Do you want it to be part of YOUR tradition?

Then again, maybe this is just TMI for me...

isitme

This is weird to me.. we don't do Our Father at all in our meetings. We have the closing stated here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-we-hear.html

Then the Serenity prayer and the hand pumping "keep coming back it works if you work it and your worth it" thing....

Loopydays

3 different meetings a week, 3 different endings -all in same small town.
Had/ have a problem with the Lords Prayer at the end of one- but hey, my favourite meeting at the moment, so I stopped taking offence-
The other begins and ends with Serenity Prayer- cool
And the last,just ends with the Serenity prayer and Let It Begin with me... And some do the arm pumping( though they seem to have visited meetings in the States!)

Spent months fighting different aspects of each and every meeting, trying to sort out which one fits with me- finally only realising now that if I take my Ego out of it- all have something to offer- I just need to be prepared to listen!
Taken me 15 months to truly feel I am a grateful member of Al Anon, thanks to great members and a Sponsor who takes no bullsh1t.

choublak

This.

And the hand pumping thing...I always head to the big bottle of hand sanitizer afterwards.

choublak

Ha, in the meetings I go to they say the serenity prayer at the beginning and the closing at the end and for each one I do the sign of the cross, by instinct.

NWGRITS

We do the serenity prayer at my old-group-raised-from-the-dead, which used to use the Lord's Prayer. I don't have a preference either way. I do enough praying on my own outside of Al-Anon.

But hey, I think using "Keep coming back..." is fitting for church. It's true: it works if you work it, and you ARE worth it!

NWGRITS

Yeah. I'm not a big fan of stranger germs. My immune system is supressed, so I'm more susceptible to ickies than the average bear. I head straight for the bathroom after the love fest. The people at my group are super huggy, and I accept them but it makes me itchy.

m1k3

Just to point out the Lord's Prayer is not conference approved literature. That was a big part of the reason it was dropped at a lot of meetings in south Jersey. We also used keep coming back as the last step of the closing.

LightInside

Wow. Never been to a mtg. that ended in Lord's Prayer. We do Serenity Prayer. I like the prayer itself, but when done with a group, I don't really get to dwell on the meaning of the words. That's fine by me, because I DO get to feel unified with the group, which I like. The thing that might be different with the meetings I go to is that we say, "Would all who care to please join us in the Serenity Prayer?" I've seen people bail before that line gets read, but I've never seen anyone bail right at that moment. I don't recall of I've ever been to a mtg. that didn't do the cheer, but I've heard of a meeting where if you try to do that they'll say, "We don't do that here."

I guess it's a good opportunity for codies to practice boundary setting. If you're not doing it because it's good and comfortable for you, who are you doing it for and why?