befuddled1

Hi advise welcome please
My abf has broken a rib falling out of a tree picking fruit for me. He is lookin after his 2 children this weekend and his mother helped out a bit this evening and he wants me to help out with children tomorrow til afternoon. I'm unsure if I want to be around him tomorrow as he manipulated on Fri (I didn't see it coming) and even though not angry anymore I just don't really want to see him tomorrow, would rather spend day with my own daughter. Am I being unreasonable and I know he will drink tomorrow regardless of if I help so don't know if it's enabling or genuine helping? Thoughts please - thank you

Hammer

You want Advice? Really?

Never send a drunk to pick fruit from a tree?

That will be 25 Centavos, por favor.

suki44883

If you don't want to see him tomorrow, then don't see him. You have a daughter whom I am sure would love your undivided attention tomorrow. He'll figure out how to get by. Take care of yourself and your own child.

befuddled1

Hammer - haha although he went up of his own accord not because I asked! Cheque in the post!!

I guess because of his slyNess on Friday I didn't want to spend time with him but I also don't want to not help out if it's genuinely needed and I know from experience how painful it is to do everyday tasks. The help isn't required because of something that happened whilst drunk but his other behavior makes me reluctant to go round.

AnvilheadII

what if you had a boundary of choosing NOT to be with him ANY TIME he has been drinking? feel sorry for his two kids, dad getting sloshed when he gets time with them. i'm sure your own child doesn't need to be exposed to that?

Upsetnneedhelp

That is pretty funny.

NYCDoglvr

I learned this in Alanon: "no" is a complete sentence. You owe it to yourself (not him) to have the life you want.