Katchie

I've been reading Codependency No More by Melody Beattie, awesome book in a sick way, and wonder if any of you have sought out professional counseling alongside your alanon meetings? If so, has it been helpful to you? Im considering it but have always poo-pooed it in the past. Would really appreciate hearing how your experience is/was and if helpful.

allysen

Yes, I did short-term (6-8 weeks) counselling twice. Once when living with AH, and once after separating. I really liked the woman I saw, as she had also been in a relationship with an A in the past and had dealt with her own codependency issues. She totally understood me. When I was looking for a counsellor, I sought one out who knew exactly what codependency was. It's surprising how many have never heard the term!

allysen

I should also add that, in addition to knowing about codependency, she was also familiar with and supportive of Al-Anon. I think that's important.

Katchie

Thank you for your response. I'm seriously considering counseling. My reading has caused me to really pull the layers of my onion and I'm not liking what I see.

jzeb2008

I am(and have in the past). This time started out with my husband wanting to go to marriage counseling and the person we found specializes in addiction and pastoral counseling. He stopped going but boy am I glad that I continued along with Al-Anon, a sponsor, SR and open AA meetings.

Tuffgirl

I did; specifically chose a man who had a specialty in addictions. I thought it best to hear directly from the opposite sex who also understood the situation I was in. I saw him for a year and a half. And I am most grateful for it.

I even went through Step 5 with him, instead of my sponsor or someone from Al-Anon. I wanted neutral, honest, expert feedback.

NYCDoglvr

I have and it's helped enormously. Cognitive therapy works especially well since it helps us change our actions.

blake1989

Yes, I have gone to Al Anon as much as my schedule allows, but also got a therapist. I was under so much stress at the time that it took her calling me back twice to actually come in. I go every week. I am so grateful to her. She is a social worker and also certified in addictions counseling. She has often been a godsend in talking about codependency, and introducing new vocabulary to help me understand my girlfriend's behavior. I have had numerous 'eureka' moments with her about myself and my relationship. Everybody's situation is different, but to give you an example, my therapist wanted to get at why I haven't left my girlfriend yet. She introduced me to a term I never heard called 'attunement'. She explained that our level of being 'attuned' to each other is so high, that I overlook some of the bad things when she is drinking. We are working on me taking care of myself better. I feel like she is helping me navigate these choppy waters.

LifeRecovery

I was in therapy first, then found Al-Anon.

My therapist has been on both sides of the 12 steps, and in long-term recovery on both sides of things herself.

Both have been incredible valuable, sometimes for different reasons, sometimes for overlapping ones.

Therapy has been the best gift I have ever given myself.

NWGRITS

Yes. I see a therapist weekly in addition to my Tuesday night Al-Anon meeting. My sessions are usually on Wednesdays, so I'm coming fresh out of a meeting and generally have a topic to discuss or a new realization I need to work through. My therapist is a wackadoodle (pretty sure he uses *something* that's not quite legal), but he does his job incredibly well. He's very no-nonsense with me, which is what I need. As an ACoA and codie, I tend to minimize everyone else's role in my issues and put the blame back on myself. He doesn't hesitate to call bullsh*t on it and spell it all out for me. He's crazy, but he's helped me in ways Al-Anon hasn't.

wolfpackfan45

Yes, I've been in counseling now for almost a year. I started out at once a week and now go every 3 weeks. It's been very helpful to me.

DMC

I had my alanon group, my therapist and my lawyer. All had their roles, and the therapist was mostly to reassure myself that I was still somewhat sane. (I am a recognizable healthcare professional in my small community, and while I felt secure in the anonymity of alanon, it was nice to have someone on my level to process things with.)

Also, lawyers are expensive, and after it was said and done, I've very glad to have had the therapist to talk to, so I could keep it business with the lawyer.

CarryOn

Started counseling first almost a year ago, started Al-Anon in April at the urging of my counselor & my priest. My counselor is a social worker and CADC (Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor) with 20+ years in addiction. I like the focus I get in my time with her & am so grateful for the work she has helped me do.

pravchaw

I and my wife are in a weekly family group led by an addiction therapist. The group has been awesome in us understanding addiction & codependency. We learn from each other as well as the counsellor.

Springs

Yes, I find it very helpful, though I wish my counselor were more bought in on al anon so the two could work in sync instead of on parallel tracks