Originally Posted by ccalhoun71

Thank you all for your respones. Today, inside, it has been very up and very down. I am going through a range of emotions from very sad to very angry to even the messed up, "You know, if I did THIS, everything would be ok." I have had to stop myself from texting her. I stop, take a breath and close my eyes trying to remember the hellish part of the relationship. That usually works, but the anxiety and pain return. I LITERALLY have to say, with every minute I am one step closer to freedom and to go back or try and get back now would be 1000 step backwards. I have read so much on verbal abuse and BPD it isn't funny. I can see myself and our relationship in it. I know in my head what to do, but the heart is a powerful thing. I miss her terribly. My kids miss her and I don't have the heart to tell them what is going on. I just say, "She's busy tonight." Eventually they will figure it out. I hate this disease. With every ounce of my body. I watched my mom die of cancer and this is a million times worse. I try and remember that it will get better with time. I packed all her stuff from my house, took down pictures and it is all sitting in a box. I hated rolling over in the morning and seeing a picture of us on the nightstand, happy and "in love." Like I said, my head and logic know what it going on. I pray constantly for the desire and the pain to end. I know God's plan for me is far more that what I could have ever imagined. I just need to believe it.

Originally Posted by forworse

BPD question. I am 10% through the book 'I hate you don't leave me' AW just got out of treatment yesterday. She seemed stable toward the end of treatment and says shes focused on recovery. Her actions today can best be described as emotionally erratic. As if she was drinking again(i know she hasn't since she got out yesterday). She seems to have 8 out of nine of the clinical criteria. I know that an active A could easily mimic a person with BPD. Is there a time frame after sobriety where this behavior starts to subside? Or is it that once sober for a few weeks, the non BPD will start to behave more rational? Shes driving everyone nuts with random phone calls stating how bad they have been to her, accusing me of control, etc...followed by a call an hour later to say hi and see how my day is. I'm not even thinking of bringing it up with her new therapist yet but am curious about the amount of time it takes for the behavior to stabilize. When she was in a structured program, she was great. Now out in the real world, she missed am gym time with me, slept in and did nothing all day(other than drive people nuts). She's planning on going to an AA meeting but we'll see.