Good morning, all.

Old 10-13-2013, 06:21 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
readerbaby71's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
Good morning, all.

Just wanted to check in and say hello......I'm doing well and have been busy with work and life. Trying really hard to take good care of myself. Eating well, doing yoga, and being more proactive about expressing my feelings when I need to.

My bf has found a biking group through AA, which is wonderful since the friends he used to bike with are just not good for him to be around. I am very happy for him because I know it can be hard to make new sober friends.

Winter's coming so I'm feeling a little bit down but seeing my therapist and staying active helps.

Hope all is well with everyone here. As always, thanks for an ear when I need one. I am so grateful for you all.
readerbaby71 is offline  
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to readerbaby71 For This Useful Post:
Charmed3 (10-13-2013), DreamsofSerenity (10-13-2013), Fathom (10-13-2013), FireSprite (10-13-2013), honeypig (10-15-2013), Kimmieh (10-13-2013), Kyczy (10-13-2013), LifeRecovery (10-15-2013), marie1960 (10-13-2013), OnlyOneProblem (10-13-2013), pinkdog (10-15-2013), RhodeIsland (10-13-2013), robgt350 (10-13-2013), Seren (10-13-2013), spiderqueen (10-13-2013), Sueski (10-13-2013), Yurt (10-13-2013)
Old 10-13-2013, 08:37 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: San Jose CA
Posts: 1
Thank you for reminding me to PAY ATTENTION. As the weather changes I can feel a little discombobulated. I have to include "grounding" activities with my morning meditation and sometimes ramp up my meeting attendance. I am lucky there are so many good meetings around me. Yoga helps as well, and I go to the more gentle practices rather than the ones full of movement and changes.
Kyczy is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kyczy For This Useful Post:
readerbaby71 (10-14-2013), Yurt (10-13-2013)
Old 10-13-2013, 10:20 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Yurt's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 408
I look forward to the Fall; that is when my attitude usually changes for the better. I am also starting Yoga. A new studio just opened up in our town and I am looking forward to today's lesson.
I think that I must be making progress as well. My H made a comment yesterday, stating that I have somehow changed since buying my car. That I am somehow tougher and more aggressive; as if I have more testosterone. (Huh?)
He attributes it to me having a fast car, however, I would not have been able to buy the car that I wanted if I had not finally figured out how to be assertive.
I am thinking that finding your voice is a side effect of healing.
Yurt is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Yurt For This Useful Post:
readerbaby71 (10-14-2013), spiderqueen (10-13-2013)
Old 10-15-2013, 12:32 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
readerbaby71's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
Ugh, I've been having a rough time the past couple of days. I hate, hate depression. The feelings of apathy, worthlessness and inadequacy are swirling through my brain. At least I don't turn to alcohol to quell them anymore. It doesn't work at this point anyway.

My bf is doing well and I am glad. He found a space for his art studio and is hoping to have a show this winter. He seems much happier and is working very hard on his recovery. I am truly happy for him. However, I am starting to have thoughts like, "He is so talented, when he is successful at his art and more mentally healthy he will drop me."

I am also thinking things like, "for my age I should be making more money, I'm a loser, I've squandered my talent and intelligence, etc......" I know these things aren't true. It's the bipolar/depression talking, and even if my BF decided to leave me I have no control over that. I feel so unmotivated and tired. I'm trying really hard to force myself not to sit and stare blankly at the wall or take to my bed. I absolutely hate my job right now. I have a freelance writing job I'm working on, and would love to make it my full-time career. I don't feel like putting the work in right now. It's pathetic.

Sorry to go on and on with this poor me sh*t. I need to vent and I appreciate the support I get here so much. I am currently in therapy, going to al anon, reading books on recovery, blah blah blah. I feel like no matter how hard I try I'll always be effed up. I could read self-help books and meditate till the cows come home but nothing will ever change the way my brain functions. I know feelings are not facts, and this will pass. I'm just having a bad couple of days.

Thanks so much for reading. I know I'm being overly negative and probably dramatic. Not really looking for advice, I needed to get it out.
readerbaby71 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to readerbaby71 For This Useful Post:
isitme (10-15-2013)
Old 10-15-2013, 12:40 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
isitme's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 478
Blog Entries: 1
Pardon my language.. but I call those voices.. the "Itty Bitty Sh*ty Committee" and I wish it was easier to tell them to take a flying leap! I feel ya.. I say all those same things to myself. Hugs.. It'll get better..
isitme is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to isitme For This Useful Post:
honeypig (10-15-2013), readerbaby71 (10-15-2013), SparkleKitty (10-15-2013)
Old 10-15-2013, 12:49 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
readerbaby71's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
Thanks! That made me laugh.
readerbaby71 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to readerbaby71 For This Useful Post:
isitme (10-15-2013)
Old 10-15-2013, 12:52 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Blog Entries: 9
Hi readerbaby, it sounds like you are doing good. It gets easier. Keep going dear.
pinkdog is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to pinkdog For This Useful Post:
readerbaby71 (10-15-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:21 AM.