Do I give an ultimatum?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 25
Do I give an ultimatum?
Hello! New to the group here and am eager to read as much as I can.
I am at the cusp of taking our four children and leaving my husband, whom we all dearly love, he is an amazing father and husband...but an alcoholic. If my kids were older and out of the house, I would stay and support him, but I can't raise my kids in an alcoholic house. He says he wants to quit every morning...but he falls back to drinking every weekend.
My husband (and I to a lesser degree) have been struggling with alcohol for about 12 years. We used to just party together, but it has grown way out of control. About 10 years ago, when we had our first DS, we both agreed we need to back off of drinking. I have reached out for help, and have quit drinking, but my husband has only gotten worse. He drinks about a case or more of beer during the week, then drinks vodka on the weekend til he passes out.
His co-workers have even asked me what they can do to help because he goes into work hungover/smelling.
For 10 years I have been hearing his promises to stop drinking. And he really means it...at that time...then the weekend rolls around and the cycle starts again.
When he is drinking, he gets mean (not quite violent), drives drunk, falls and hurts himself, hurts the kids playing with them, passes out in the yard... I am terrified to leave because we all love him, when he is sober but we have four young kids and I don't know where I would go, I hate to move the kids away from their friends and school, we are a strong family when he is sober, and I have no money to make this move.
My question is: Do I give him an ultimatum? I am going out of town this weekend with the kids. I was thinking of writing a letter along the lines of "this is the last time we are coming home if this continues... Please get help!"
I absolutely don't want to leave, but I can't raise my kids like this! Thank you for listing-Peace
I am at the cusp of taking our four children and leaving my husband, whom we all dearly love, he is an amazing father and husband...but an alcoholic. If my kids were older and out of the house, I would stay and support him, but I can't raise my kids in an alcoholic house. He says he wants to quit every morning...but he falls back to drinking every weekend.
My husband (and I to a lesser degree) have been struggling with alcohol for about 12 years. We used to just party together, but it has grown way out of control. About 10 years ago, when we had our first DS, we both agreed we need to back off of drinking. I have reached out for help, and have quit drinking, but my husband has only gotten worse. He drinks about a case or more of beer during the week, then drinks vodka on the weekend til he passes out.
His co-workers have even asked me what they can do to help because he goes into work hungover/smelling.
For 10 years I have been hearing his promises to stop drinking. And he really means it...at that time...then the weekend rolls around and the cycle starts again.
When he is drinking, he gets mean (not quite violent), drives drunk, falls and hurts himself, hurts the kids playing with them, passes out in the yard... I am terrified to leave because we all love him, when he is sober but we have four young kids and I don't know where I would go, I hate to move the kids away from their friends and school, we are a strong family when he is sober, and I have no money to make this move.
My question is: Do I give him an ultimatum? I am going out of town this weekend with the kids. I was thinking of writing a letter along the lines of "this is the last time we are coming home if this continues... Please get help!"
I absolutely don't want to leave, but I can't raise my kids like this! Thank you for listing-Peace
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 453
Welcome, Dharmabound. Sorry for what brought you here, but glad that you found us.
You'll find a lot of support here in the form of Experience, Strength, & Hope. I encourage you to read the stickies, post & read as much as you like, try out AlAnon and the suggested readings. Are you safe in your home currently? The first priority is always your safety and your children's safety. A few items you mentioned made it seem you may not be completely safe.
You will know what is best for your individual situation, but an ultimatum will not be effective unless you are fully prepared to enforce it. When you fail to enforce this, you teach the A they do not have to take you seriously. What may be easier to start with is to set boundaries for yourself. I think of this as my personal security system - the things I will do to protect myself from being hurt. I can tell someone the boundaries are there or not, and I can change them if I feel it is necessary. For example, when RAH was drinking, I would not ride in a car if he had been drinking - I would drive myself or find another ride; I would not talk with my husband if he had four or more drinks as it would result in an argument and leave me upset - this is one I did have to tell him; I would not hang out in the same area of the house when he was drinking - I would busy myself elsewhere or leave the house, etc. Eventually, my boundary became "I will not live with an active alcoholic" so I told RAH when he returned from his next work trip he would have to find somewhere else to stay. He has respected this, even though I cannot legally enforce this.
You can also consult with an attorney about your options. The first consultation is usually free and does not mean that you actually have to use their services. They can give you information on your situation & the applicable laws in your area, including protective orders, separation, child/spousal support, etc. Think of it as fact finding. Additional resources may be a counselor, a pastor or priest in your church if you have one you are comfortable with, and Domestic Violence hotline or center in your area.
Most importantly, you need to focus on yourself & your children right now. Take care of your immediate needs and try to find ways to enjoy yourself whenever possible. Alcoholism is your A's problem - not yours. You did not Cause it, you cannot Control it, you cannot Cure it (the three C's).
I've probably rambled on enough. Others will be by to offer more suggestions and information. Please know that you are not alone and there are many here to help support you.
You'll find a lot of support here in the form of Experience, Strength, & Hope. I encourage you to read the stickies, post & read as much as you like, try out AlAnon and the suggested readings. Are you safe in your home currently? The first priority is always your safety and your children's safety. A few items you mentioned made it seem you may not be completely safe.
You will know what is best for your individual situation, but an ultimatum will not be effective unless you are fully prepared to enforce it. When you fail to enforce this, you teach the A they do not have to take you seriously. What may be easier to start with is to set boundaries for yourself. I think of this as my personal security system - the things I will do to protect myself from being hurt. I can tell someone the boundaries are there or not, and I can change them if I feel it is necessary. For example, when RAH was drinking, I would not ride in a car if he had been drinking - I would drive myself or find another ride; I would not talk with my husband if he had four or more drinks as it would result in an argument and leave me upset - this is one I did have to tell him; I would not hang out in the same area of the house when he was drinking - I would busy myself elsewhere or leave the house, etc. Eventually, my boundary became "I will not live with an active alcoholic" so I told RAH when he returned from his next work trip he would have to find somewhere else to stay. He has respected this, even though I cannot legally enforce this.
You can also consult with an attorney about your options. The first consultation is usually free and does not mean that you actually have to use their services. They can give you information on your situation & the applicable laws in your area, including protective orders, separation, child/spousal support, etc. Think of it as fact finding. Additional resources may be a counselor, a pastor or priest in your church if you have one you are comfortable with, and Domestic Violence hotline or center in your area.
Most importantly, you need to focus on yourself & your children right now. Take care of your immediate needs and try to find ways to enjoy yourself whenever possible. Alcoholism is your A's problem - not yours. You did not Cause it, you cannot Control it, you cannot Cure it (the three C's).
I've probably rambled on enough. Others will be by to offer more suggestions and information. Please know that you are not alone and there are many here to help support you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 28
Hi Dharmabound,
My wife & I have been struggling through the same issues for the last 12 years of our marriage. We have two kids, so I have an idea what you feel. I was faced with the same issue 5 weeks ago and she left after I put an interlock on her vehicle. The next day she left for her parents house for a bender. During that time I searched for answers, rehab wasn't going to work as the last time, she stayed sober for 5 days & boom, back to drinking. After some soul searching and digging, I found a counselor that she connected with 11 years ago who got through to her and he's working at a different facility. We talked it through and I found a way to afford treatment through insurance and the rest out-of-pocket - not cheap mind you, but he reminded me what I had failed to remember, it's a disease.
So 4 weeks ago today, I dropped her off, last week was family week and although we fought, kicked, screamed (lol, almost typed screwed) and cried, we made it through and I'm positive about our future when she gets out in 2 weeks. We made some agreements that if she relapses, she's out & on her own with no financial support from me. Mind you that would be the hardest thing in the world for me as I went through grade school without a mom, just me, brother dad & Grandma nearby. I still have resentments over that and I don't want my boys to feel that pain.
I'm still struggling off & on with the resentment over the $ being spent, however if she had cancer or something else, I'd do everything under the sun to help her get better, so why is this different?
One thing I learned last week is that the true alcoholics do want to stop drinking and my wife was no different and I'd imagine the same goes for your husband. When they swear off alcohol, the mean it with every fiber of their being, however the physical & mental pains they go through overwhelm them where no amount of willpower can save them from drinking again. Only through working the steps of the AA Big Book with a sponsor will help my wife , she's sure of this as am I and I need to work through the same steps with an alanon sponsor.
I'd suggest trying to find an alanon meeting, reading through the AA big book and seeing if there are any treatment options available to you. I wish you the best of luck in this, it's very painful for everyone involved.
God Bless,
B
My wife & I have been struggling through the same issues for the last 12 years of our marriage. We have two kids, so I have an idea what you feel. I was faced with the same issue 5 weeks ago and she left after I put an interlock on her vehicle. The next day she left for her parents house for a bender. During that time I searched for answers, rehab wasn't going to work as the last time, she stayed sober for 5 days & boom, back to drinking. After some soul searching and digging, I found a counselor that she connected with 11 years ago who got through to her and he's working at a different facility. We talked it through and I found a way to afford treatment through insurance and the rest out-of-pocket - not cheap mind you, but he reminded me what I had failed to remember, it's a disease.
So 4 weeks ago today, I dropped her off, last week was family week and although we fought, kicked, screamed (lol, almost typed screwed) and cried, we made it through and I'm positive about our future when she gets out in 2 weeks. We made some agreements that if she relapses, she's out & on her own with no financial support from me. Mind you that would be the hardest thing in the world for me as I went through grade school without a mom, just me, brother dad & Grandma nearby. I still have resentments over that and I don't want my boys to feel that pain.
I'm still struggling off & on with the resentment over the $ being spent, however if she had cancer or something else, I'd do everything under the sun to help her get better, so why is this different?
One thing I learned last week is that the true alcoholics do want to stop drinking and my wife was no different and I'd imagine the same goes for your husband. When they swear off alcohol, the mean it with every fiber of their being, however the physical & mental pains they go through overwhelm them where no amount of willpower can save them from drinking again. Only through working the steps of the AA Big Book with a sponsor will help my wife , she's sure of this as am I and I need to work through the same steps with an alanon sponsor.
I'd suggest trying to find an alanon meeting, reading through the AA big book and seeing if there are any treatment options available to you. I wish you the best of luck in this, it's very painful for everyone involved.
God Bless,
B
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Personally im done with ultimatums. I just want out and to be happy.
I would suggest just going and telling him youll only return when hes proven sober and in a program.
Sounds like a better ultimatum to me
I would suggest just going and telling him youll only return when hes proven sober and in a program.
Sounds like a better ultimatum to me
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: The Bright Side of the Moon
Posts: 528
CarryOn already said that you need to be prepared to enforce the ultimatum if you make one. I think that's the most important thing to remember. The reason why is that I made many ultimatums to my ex and never enforced them. What I got as a result was him continuing to drink (He knew I wasn't going anywhere for real) and him disrespecting me (If I don't respect myself enough to follow through with my ultimatums, why would he respect me?).
Have you been to any Al anon meetings? Al anon can help us sort this stuff out and figure out our boundaries. Keep in mind, Al anon takes a lot of time to really work for many of us. If you or your children are in danger, you will have to make a decision based on how to keep yourselves safe. Find out the resources in your community now, including financial assistance. That way if you do end up needing to leave, you'll already know what's available to you. Please don't let cost get in the way of doing what you know deep inside is right for your children and you.
Have you been to any Al anon meetings? Al anon can help us sort this stuff out and figure out our boundaries. Keep in mind, Al anon takes a lot of time to really work for many of us. If you or your children are in danger, you will have to make a decision based on how to keep yourselves safe. Find out the resources in your community now, including financial assistance. That way if you do end up needing to leave, you'll already know what's available to you. Please don't let cost get in the way of doing what you know deep inside is right for your children and you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I'd like to second the suggestion about Alanon. Here's a link to find a meeting: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ You can search this forum for other posts about Alanon if you'd like to see what others here have to say about it--that may help you decide about going.
You are wise to want to read a lot here! There is a TON of experience and wisdom here. Don't miss the stickied threads at the top of the page--you'll find a lot of great information and suggestions for helpful books as well.
As you learn more about alcoholism, you'll begin to see your path ahead of you. You're not alone, and you will find your way to a better life.
You are wise to want to read a lot here! There is a TON of experience and wisdom here. Don't miss the stickied threads at the top of the page--you'll find a lot of great information and suggestions for helpful books as well.
As you learn more about alcoholism, you'll begin to see your path ahead of you. You're not alone, and you will find your way to a better life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
When I first found Al Anon, I used to fantasize about issuing a grand ultimatum to my AH: sober up and enter recovery, or I'm leaving. But the reality at the time, and I think I knew it then, was that I was not ready to leave. So issuing the ultimatum would have been pointless, because I was not prepared to follow through with what I promised would be the consequences.
Interestingly enough, as I have progressed further and further in recovery, I have less and less of an interest in issuing an ultimatum. As I become more and more ready to leave, the more I know I'm just going to leave.
Interestingly enough, as I have progressed further and further in recovery, I have less and less of an interest in issuing an ultimatum. As I become more and more ready to leave, the more I know I'm just going to leave.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 25
Wow-I am so impressed with everyone's responses here. I humbly appreciate your heartfelt answers and support. I agree with various points of every post here. I am not going to give an ultimatum, but rather I will leave a letter explaining that i am not going to allow our kids to grow up this way and if he continues with this cycle-I am leaving with the kids. I have been talking to a couple of family members, and our minister, that are ready to help me make that shift if it comes to that. My husband isn't violent, so I am "okay" with waiting til this summer until my kids are out of school, and the transition wouldn't be quite as traumatic as if we left right now.
I looked up Al Anon meetings and one thing that surprised/worried me, is that there were several options for Al Anon meetings every night of the week....but barely half the number of meetings for AA.
thank you, and have a safe and happy weekend!
Dharmabound
I looked up Al Anon meetings and one thing that surprised/worried me, is that there were several options for Al Anon meetings every night of the week....but barely half the number of meetings for AA.
thank you, and have a safe and happy weekend!
Dharmabound
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: The Bright Side of the Moon
Posts: 528
That is interesting about the disparity between Al anon and AA meetings. I guess it depends on where we live and the culture of the area? Here we have tons of Al anon, but probably 2x the amount of AA. I'm not really sure though.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi dharmabound,
I'm sorry your husband continues to make poor choices. I'm glad you are reaching out for help and to make a better life for yourself and your children.
As you have read, ultimatums only rarely work, and only when you are willing to follow through with the consequences. Otherwise, they are just empty threats that an active alcoholic learns to roll past.
A thread that really helped me early on is this one:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Please take good care of yourself and your little ones no matter what you decide!
I'm sorry your husband continues to make poor choices. I'm glad you are reaching out for help and to make a better life for yourself and your children.
As you have read, ultimatums only rarely work, and only when you are willing to follow through with the consequences. Otherwise, they are just empty threats that an active alcoholic learns to roll past.
A thread that really helped me early on is this one:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Please take good care of yourself and your little ones no matter what you decide!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Just my .02 cents, but .................
When considering leaving as an option, have you entertained putting him out?
Why should you and your four children have to give up your comforts of home?
he's the one with the problem, not you or the kids, why make it easy for him?
hope you continue to read and educate yourself about addiction.
you and your children deserve peace, and a home filled with love, neither of these are possible in an addicted household.
When considering leaving as an option, have you entertained putting him out?
Why should you and your four children have to give up your comforts of home?
he's the one with the problem, not you or the kids, why make it easy for him?
hope you continue to read and educate yourself about addiction.
you and your children deserve peace, and a home filled with love, neither of these are possible in an addicted household.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: acceptance
Posts: 126
I gave ultimatums many times. He went to inpatient on my first ultimatum, relapsed and went to outpatient treatment as an employment ultimatum. He has had many periods of sobriety and relapses. The relapses would always result in something happening that between his realization and my ultimatum he would stop.
The last time I could tell this relapse was different. He was very clear that he was not going to quit because he believes he is not an alcoholic and has figured out how to control his drinking.
I think I always knew better but I wasn't ready to leave, to end all of the craziness yet. My ultimatums were not true ultimatums but more a plea for him to stop. And then they became ineffective because we both knew I didn't want to leave.
I always have and probably always love the man I married. It is the person is when he drinks that I do not love.
One of the things that solidified in my mind from the beginning of Alanon was "you will leave when the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving".
I thought I always knew what those words meant. In the last relapse i became so depressed I lost my will and determination to fight and support HIS problem. I was full of anxiety and shut myself off frim everyone because I could no longer cope with it. And then one morning I woke up with the relization that I had lost "me" in his disease.
That day, those words just clicked in my head and I absolutely knew the pain of staying was greater than the pain of leaving.
in retrospect, the ultimatums were really about me more than they were about him.
This time I did not give an ultimatum, I just left.
The last time I could tell this relapse was different. He was very clear that he was not going to quit because he believes he is not an alcoholic and has figured out how to control his drinking.
I think I always knew better but I wasn't ready to leave, to end all of the craziness yet. My ultimatums were not true ultimatums but more a plea for him to stop. And then they became ineffective because we both knew I didn't want to leave.
I always have and probably always love the man I married. It is the person is when he drinks that I do not love.
One of the things that solidified in my mind from the beginning of Alanon was "you will leave when the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving".
I thought I always knew what those words meant. In the last relapse i became so depressed I lost my will and determination to fight and support HIS problem. I was full of anxiety and shut myself off frim everyone because I could no longer cope with it. And then one morning I woke up with the relization that I had lost "me" in his disease.
That day, those words just clicked in my head and I absolutely knew the pain of staying was greater than the pain of leaving.
in retrospect, the ultimatums were really about me more than they were about him.
This time I did not give an ultimatum, I just left.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 628
I usually post in the F&F substance abuse forum as I have been dealing with the addiction of a young adult son.
If you are not ready to leave yet - I suggest the following which has helped me.
I recently persuaded my son into detox and now outpatient treatment using the CRAFT technique. The technique is detailed in this book - Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening: Robert J. Meyers, Brenda L. Wolfe: 9781592850815: Amazon.com: Books. I highly recommend it. In your husbands case - I think its important that he go through a inpatient detox and detoxing from alcohol is dangerous.
He has been sober for about 2 weeks now and he is already looking a lot better and talking about travelling to India and going back to university.
If you are not ready to leave yet - I suggest the following which has helped me.
I recently persuaded my son into detox and now outpatient treatment using the CRAFT technique. The technique is detailed in this book - Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening: Robert J. Meyers, Brenda L. Wolfe: 9781592850815: Amazon.com: Books. I highly recommend it. In your husbands case - I think its important that he go through a inpatient detox and detoxing from alcohol is dangerous.
He has been sober for about 2 weeks now and he is already looking a lot better and talking about travelling to India and going back to university.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I agree with the above post. Why should you leave? Why should your children leave? He should be the one leaving, however that is up to you. I know in this state if you have grounds you can file for exclusive marital use of the family home during divorce. I think a counsult with an attorney is a good thought. I encourage you (as this is what I was advised by an attorney friend) to start collecting evidence. Take photos, journal each and every time he drinks, passes out, etc. If you want him out of the house you have to be able to tell the courts why and it has to be valid.
It is good that you are not in an all fire rush and are taking the time to think out your decisions. I have a very similar life. This time what is different is the ultimatium I gave is for myself, not for him. I will kick him out if he drinks because I can no longer live with the drinking and who I become in reaction to it. It's about me this time, not him.
As I told our counselor (in front of him), it is not out of anger, hurt, resentment or because I don't love him anymore. It is for my own mental sanity and to protect my children's future that I will do this. I think he heard me loud and clear (the husband and the counselor). The ultimatium is for myself, and I know I will follow through, I just know it my heart.
God Bless to you and your kiddos. Keep posting, you are not alone!
It is good that you are not in an all fire rush and are taking the time to think out your decisions. I have a very similar life. This time what is different is the ultimatium I gave is for myself, not for him. I will kick him out if he drinks because I can no longer live with the drinking and who I become in reaction to it. It's about me this time, not him.
As I told our counselor (in front of him), it is not out of anger, hurt, resentment or because I don't love him anymore. It is for my own mental sanity and to protect my children's future that I will do this. I think he heard me loud and clear (the husband and the counselor). The ultimatium is for myself, and I know I will follow through, I just know it my heart.
God Bless to you and your kiddos. Keep posting, you are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 51
Hello dharmabound,
I will add my two cents as a wife of a AH, and also as an adult child of alcoholics.
I am in the same boat with my AH and have one foot out the doot. We have a 10 month old baby boy, and I don't want our son growing up in this mess.
I remember my father giving my mother "ultimatiums" that he was sending us kids to live with our extended family in another State. He would talk to my brothers and I about it all. So, we would tell our friends we were moving. Only to have my day never follow through. He would take us to hotels to get away from my mother only to have my mom call the hotel, and berate my dad to bring us back. He always did. It damaged me emotionally to be back and forth or around the turmoil altogether. I wish my dad would of sent us out of that environment.
I am sending many, many happy vibes to you. You not alone in this.
I will add my two cents as a wife of a AH, and also as an adult child of alcoholics.
I am in the same boat with my AH and have one foot out the doot. We have a 10 month old baby boy, and I don't want our son growing up in this mess.
I remember my father giving my mother "ultimatiums" that he was sending us kids to live with our extended family in another State. He would talk to my brothers and I about it all. So, we would tell our friends we were moving. Only to have my day never follow through. He would take us to hotels to get away from my mother only to have my mom call the hotel, and berate my dad to bring us back. He always did. It damaged me emotionally to be back and forth or around the turmoil altogether. I wish my dad would of sent us out of that environment.
I am sending many, many happy vibes to you. You not alone in this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
The letter is pointless for THIS WEEKED when you have no intention of getting out for months and months. But I'm thinking your purpose is to guilt and manipulate his heart strings into stopping drinking, it doesn't work like that and may just backs fire on you..
I think if you are he'll bent on doing something the make that something about YOU. First enjoy your weekend away with your kids and be thankful for the break away from his drinking. Second, seek out al-anon, keep posting here, keep talking to your pastor but most important KEEP YOU HANDS OFF THE ALCOHOLIC meaning stop the focus being HIM stopping drinking in order for YOUR life to be happy and manageable.
I think if you are he'll bent on doing something the make that something about YOU. First enjoy your weekend away with your kids and be thankful for the break away from his drinking. Second, seek out al-anon, keep posting here, keep talking to your pastor but most important KEEP YOU HANDS OFF THE ALCOHOLIC meaning stop the focus being HIM stopping drinking in order for YOUR life to be happy and manageable.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: FL
Posts: 1,072
I am in the same boat here. I am an alcoholic that stopped drinking two years ago. Over the last year I am learning I do not want to be in the home with my AH. We have a 10yo daughter who has been taking his verbal abuse while drinking since she was little.
Reading here has helped me switch my thinking from him to me and us. I have thought about ultimatums, but they were always about him. Daughter and I have plans to go to a friends house tonight to find some peace. My friend is out of town.
I need to shift my ultimatums to myself....I am making plans, looking at finances, talking with family, going to start going to ALAnon. Continuing going to AA.
The part that makes it difficult is that on his 2-3 days a week sober he is so fabulous...the man I fell in love with...Thats where I struggle. I live for those days....but why?
Reading here has helped me switch my thinking from him to me and us. I have thought about ultimatums, but they were always about him. Daughter and I have plans to go to a friends house tonight to find some peace. My friend is out of town.
I need to shift my ultimatums to myself....I am making plans, looking at finances, talking with family, going to start going to ALAnon. Continuing going to AA.
The part that makes it difficult is that on his 2-3 days a week sober he is so fabulous...the man I fell in love with...Thats where I struggle. I live for those days....but why?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 25
Update: so, my husband and I haven't had a drink in almost 3 months! On that first weekend I left town with the kids and left him a note that I wasn't going to raise the kids with alcohol anymore...
He took it to heart-he had been trying to quit for awhile before- so the timing was right for him to have that wake up call. We
He took it to heart-he had been trying to quit for awhile before- so the timing was right for him to have that wake up call. We
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