Is it possible to be codependent and ADHD at the same time?
 

And how?

Of course. Why not? That's like asking if it's possible to be in love and have a broken leg at the same time, isn't it?

No...

It's an interesting question. I believe that co-dependency is a behavioral issue while ADHD is a processing issue. There have been studies done in both areas in an attempt to understand whether childhood trauma increases the incidences in populations. Another consideration is that ADHD has also been linked to giftedness. In turn, giftedness often corresponds to a higher emotional quotient (EQ), empathy is often correlated with high EQ. My line of thought is that greater empathy could make one more susceptible to becoming co-dependent.

choublak

Yes I think its possible although I think it would depend somewhat on the severity/manifestation of the ADHD. If the common symptoms are things like extreme distractibility, poor listening skills, and restlessness or difficulty relaxing then I don't think there is anything that would truly stop what I understand codependency to be from happening. (just my opinion)

I'm asking because I myself have ADHD, and while I am on medication for it, there are certain things with codependency I just don't relate to.

I am (trying to recover) codependent and have been diagnosed with and am being treated for ADHD.

Are you a fixer? As in, trying to fix other people's problems? Because, that is something I am not.

I am a fixer. I always want to help everyone and make sure their lives are good and running smoothly. It sounds as if you are truly trying to find out if you are codependent and I gather you don't think you are. Have you read the book "codependent no more? " or even some of the posts in here about codependency? I also think there is site like this one for codependency. Maybe those places could answer the questions you have. See I did it again. I'm trying to "fix" your problem for you. So obviously I am a fixer.

I know this is very oversimplified, but:

If codependency = fixer, and ADHD = disorganized, how can a disorganized person be a fixer?

I know there are all types and degrees of ADHD and ADD. I am organized. But my mind jumps from one thing to the next easily. And sometimes I'll forget what I'm about to do or about to say. My train of thought is scattered. But I don't have to be organized to give advice and try to "fix" someone else's problem. My type of being a "fixer" is to give advice or tell them how they can help themselves with whatever they need help with. I don't actually fix their problem for them. I usually give suggestions or say they need marital advice, I'll give the name of several counselors. That type of thing. I have ADHD, all three of my children have it and my brother has it. We all are extremely organized. We have to be to be able to function. There is an element of OCD with it as well. But I think we are more organized than someone that doesn't have ADHD, just for necessity alone.

For me, I think my co-dependency drives my adhd, when the c-d kicks in, I'm scatterbrained as hell, or if the kids aren't with me, I barely do a thing around the house, just watch movies & stay in isolation. I can't figure it out.

Well, I'm on the low end of the Adult ADD spectrum, and I have some traits that are considered codependent but not all of them. I also don't have all the ADD symptoms, either.

In my experience, it does not have to be all or nothing....

Yes...

The comment about having a broken leg and being in love at the same time does not compute, at least not to me.

Interesting. If disorganization and procrastination were Olympic sports, I would win all the gold metals.

Aha, see that's the problem with us "fixers" we usually don't end up "fixing" anything at all! We just think we can...

My loved one was diagnosed with adult ADD right before we split up.

I think he had some codpendency in him (many people with alcohol concerns do). He was NOT a fixer, but he was very in tune with WHAT he thought people wanted of him. A way to be, popularity, the fun guy, the party guy etc. He was very sensitive to those social cues (and often used them as an excuse to keep drinking).

He was not well organized (especially at home).

I have known many people over the years who had co-dependency tendencies and focus issues at the same time. Also many alcoholics with ADD issues.

dandylion

I think what most of is are saying or trying to say is that most people have some of the traits of all different things such as codependency, ADD, ADHD, OCD, addictive personalities, etc. I do not think there has to be 100% of each to have that diagnosis. For myself, I do not label me. I try and be the best person I can be each day. I try to be a productive person and work on my negative traits to improve each day.
Maybe it would help you if you don't worry so much about the diagnosis or labels and just work on you and what will make you happy. What works for one person doesn't work for another. Maybe what you consider unorganized someone else would consider organized chaos???