Just Tired
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Just Tired
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We're all here for you. Just a little something to make you feel better.
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Fudge Central ™
A soft fudge core surrounded by chocolate & vanilla ice creams with white and dark fudge chips
Half Baked Frozen Yogurt
Chocolate & vanilla frozen yogurts fudgey brownies & chocolate chip cookie dough
Honey, I'm Home™
Honey Vanilla Ice Cream & Fudge Covered Honeycomb Candy Nuggets
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A core of soft caramel encircled by chocolate & caramel ice creams & fudge chips
Makin' Whoopie Pie™
Chocolate ice cream with a classic whoopie pie mixture of marshmallow & devil's food cookies
One Sweet Whirled™
Caramel & coffee ice creams with marshmallow & caramel swirls coverd in milk chocolate
One Sweet Whirled™
Caramel & coffee ice creams with marshmallow & caramel swirls & coffee flavored fudge chips
Peanut Butter Me Up™
A peanut butter caramel core surrounded by chocolate & peanut butter ice creams with fudge chips
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Rich Chocolate peanut butter ice cream with peanut butter fudge truffles
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<small>[ May 23, 2002, 08:36 PM: Message edited by: Morning Glory ]</small>
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We're all here for you. Just a little something to make you feel better.
<img src="http://www.benjerry.com/images/misc/po-mid-a2.gif" alt=" - " />
<img src="http://www.benjerry.com/images/product/oswcomboc.gif" alt=" - " />
<img src="http://www.benjerry.com/images/product/smarty_pints.gif" alt=" - " />
<img src="http://www.benjerry.com/images/product/new_250.gif" alt=" - " />
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<img src="http://www.benjerry.com/images/product/euphoricheader.gif" alt=" - " />
</central>
Fudge Central ™
A soft fudge core surrounded by chocolate & vanilla ice creams with white and dark fudge chips
Half Baked Frozen Yogurt
Chocolate & vanilla frozen yogurts fudgey brownies & chocolate chip cookie dough
Honey, I'm Home™
Honey Vanilla Ice Cream & Fudge Covered Honeycomb Candy Nuggets
Karamel Sutra™
A core of soft caramel encircled by chocolate & caramel ice creams & fudge chips
Makin' Whoopie Pie™
Chocolate ice cream with a classic whoopie pie mixture of marshmallow & devil's food cookies
One Sweet Whirled™
Caramel & coffee ice creams with marshmallow & caramel swirls coverd in milk chocolate
One Sweet Whirled™
Caramel & coffee ice creams with marshmallow & caramel swirls & coffee flavored fudge chips
Peanut Butter Me Up™
A peanut butter caramel core surrounded by chocolate & peanut butter ice creams with fudge chips
Peanut Butter Truffle™
Rich Chocolate peanut butter ice cream with peanut butter fudge truffles
The Full VerMonty™
Vermont maple ice cream, praline pecans & a caramel swirl
</font>
<small>[ May 23, 2002, 08:36 PM: Message edited by: Morning Glory ]</small>
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'll have one of each please - just for JT of course!!!
If you saw my bony little avatar earlier, you would see that I can afford the calories. My new one looks just like my cat "Toby" who RULES!!
JT - I hope you are pulling through this okay. I have thought about you so many times today.
Hugs
Ann
If you saw my bony little avatar earlier, you would see that I can afford the calories. My new one looks just like my cat "Toby" who RULES!!
JT - I hope you are pulling through this okay. I have thought about you so many times today.
Hugs
Ann
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
MG...you are certifiable!! Thank you..you made me smile..bad bad day. My Grandson is wasted...he behaved so well at the service. My H has a sister who is a elementary school teacher (masters) and she came to sit with him lat nite while we went to the wake. They made a card for him to give his mother and bought some flowers for her and they bought a FISH!
When we all got to the private viewing this morn my GS put the card in his mother's hands and said "when she wakes up in heaven she will see my card right?"..he also wanted to know where her feet wear and the director lifted the drape and showed him. He (my GS) carried the gifts to the alter.
My son has fallen off the wagon...but then he does have the mother of all excuses, and with only 45 days I was not suprised...basically he buried his wife today. All that was missing was a piece of paper. They weren't together but they loved each other.
I am overwelmed by the REAL lack of any control that we have in life...something to keep in min for all of us...I luuuuv you guys.
LUV,
JT
When we all got to the private viewing this morn my GS put the card in his mother's hands and said "when she wakes up in heaven she will see my card right?"..he also wanted to know where her feet wear and the director lifted the drape and showed him. He (my GS) carried the gifts to the alter.
My son has fallen off the wagon...but then he does have the mother of all excuses, and with only 45 days I was not suprised...basically he buried his wife today. All that was missing was a piece of paper. They weren't together but they loved each other.
I am overwelmed by the REAL lack of any control that we have in life...something to keep in min for all of us...I luuuuv you guys.
LUV,
JT
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
JT
Welcome back - I have been thinking of you so much the past few days, and your stories bring tears to my eyes. You are indeed an angel to your family and all of us. If Bob doesn't have an angel avatar, well we'll just get you one.
You must be drained. I didn't really eat all your Ben & Jerry's - so have a binge on us.
Love you and praying for your family,
Hugs
Welcome back - I have been thinking of you so much the past few days, and your stories bring tears to my eyes. You are indeed an angel to your family and all of us. If Bob doesn't have an angel avatar, well we'll just get you one.
You must be drained. I didn't really eat all your Ben & Jerry's - so have a binge on us.
Love you and praying for your family,
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hi JT...
I've been thinking of you and your grandson. It sounds like everything is being handled in the best possible way. Next time you hug him, could you give him just a little extra squeeze for me? I'm hugging you in my heart just as tight as I can.
Love,
Smoke
I've been thinking of you and your grandson. It sounds like everything is being handled in the best possible way. Next time you hug him, could you give him just a little extra squeeze for me? I'm hugging you in my heart just as tight as I can.
Love,
Smoke
Guest
Posts: n/a
On The Immeasurable Dignity
of Temporal Suffering
The Servant:
Tell me now, tender Lord, what this suffering is which Thou thinkest so very profitable and good?
Eternal Wisdom:
What I mean is every kind of suffering, whether willingly accepted or unwillingly incurred--as when a man makes a virtue of necessity in not wishing to be exempt from suffering without My will, and ordering it, in humble patience, to My eternal praise; and the more willingly he does this, the more precious and agreeable it is to Me.
Touching such kinds of suffering, hear further, and write it down in the bottom of thy heart, and keep it as a sign to set before the spiritual eyes of thy soul. My dwelling is in the pure soul as in a paradise of delights, for which reason I cannot endure that she should lovingly and longingly attach herself to anything. But, from her very nature, she is inclined to pernicious lusts, and therefore I encompass her path with thorns. I garnish all her outlets with adversity, whether she like it or not, so that she may not escape from Me; her ways I strew with tribulation, so that she may not set the foot of her heart's desire anywhere except in the loftiness of My divine nature.
And if all hearts were but one heart, they would not be able to bear even that least reward which I certainly will give for the suffering endured by anyone for love of Me. Such is My eternal order in all nature, from which I do not swerve; what is precious and good must be earned with bitterness; he who recoils at thus, let him recoil; many are indeed called, but few are chosen.
The Servant:
It may well be, Lord, that suffering is an infinite good, provided it be not without measure, and not too dreadful and overwhelming. Lord, Thou alone knowest all hidden things, and didst create all things in weight, in number and measure; Thou knowest also that my sufferings are measureless, that they are wholly beyond my strength. Lord, is there anyone in all this world who has constantly more painful sufferings than I? They are to me invincible--how am I to endure them? Lord, if Thou wouldst send me ordinary sufferings, I could bear them, but I do not see how I can ever endure such extraordinary sufferings as these--sufferings which in so hidden a manner oppress my heart and soul, which only Thou canst perfectly understand.
Eternal Wisdom:
Every sick man imagines that his own sickness is the worst, and every man in distress, his own distress the greatest. Had I sent thee other sufferings it would have been the same. Conform thyself freely to My will under every pain which I ordain thee to suffer, without excepting this or the other suffering. Dost thou not know that I only desire what is best for thee, even with as kindly a feeling as thou thyself? Hence it is that I am the Eternal Wisdom, and that I know better than thou what is for thy good. Hence it is that thou mayst have felt that the sufferings which I send are much more exquisite, and penetrate deeper, and operate better, for him who does them justice, than all self-chosen sufferings. Why then dost thou so complain to Me? Address Me rather as follows: O my most faithful Father, do to me at all times what Thou wilt!
The Servant:
O Lord, it is so easy to talk, but the reality is so difficult to endure, for it is so very painful.
Eternal Wisdom:
If suffering gave no pain, it could not becalled suffering. There is nothing more painful than suffering, and nothing more joyful than to have suffered.
Suffering is a short pain and a long joy.
Suffering gives to the sufferer pain here and joy hereinafter.
Suffering kills suffering.
Suffering is ordained that the sufferer may not suffer eternally. Hadst thou so much spiritual sweetness and divine consolation and heavenly delight as, at all times, to overflow with the divine dew, it would not be for thee so very meritorious of itself, since, for all this together, I should not have to thank thee so much; it could not exculpate thee so much as an affectionate suffering or patience in adversity, in which thou sufferest for My sake. Sooner will ten be perverted and ruined in the midst of a great delight and joyous sweetness than one in the midst of constant suffering and adversity. If thou hadst as much science as all the astronomers, if thou couldst discourse as ably of God as all the tongues of men and angels, and didst possess the treasures of knowledge of all the masters, not all this could avail to advance thee in a good life, so much as if thou didst give thyself up, and didst abandon thyself in all thy sufferings to God; for the former is common to the good and the bad, but the latter is proper to My elect alone. If anyone were able rightly to weigh time and eternity, he ought rather to desire to lie in a fiery furnace for a hundred years than to be deprived in eternity of the smallest reward for the smallest suffering; for this has an end, but the other is without end.
The Servant:
Ah, sweet and dear Lord, how like a sweet harp are these words to a suffering mortal! Lord, Lord, wouldst Thou but cheer me thus and come to visit me in my sufferings, I should be glad to suffer; it would then be better for me to suffer than not to suffer.
Eternal Wisdom:
Now, then, hearken to the sweet music of the distended strings of that Divine harp--a God-suffering man--how richly it sounds, how sweetly it vibrates.
Before the world, suffering is a reproach, but before Me it is an infinite honour.
Suffering is an extinguisher of My wrath, and an obtainer of My favour.
Suffering makes a man in My sight worthy of love, for the sufferer is like Me.
Suffering is a hidden treasure which no one can make good; and though a man might kneel before Me a hundred years to beg a friendly suffering, he nevertheless would not earn it.
Suffering changes an earthly man into a heavenly man.
Suffering brings with it the estrangement of the world, but confers, instead, My intimate familiarity. It lessens delight and increases grace. He to whom I am to show Myself a friend, must be wholly disclaimed and abandoned by the world.
Suffering is the surest way, the nearest way, and the shortest way.He who rightly knows how profitable suffering is, ought to receive it as a gift worthy of God. Oh, how many a man there is who once was a child of eternal death, and plunged in the profoundest sleep, whom suffering has wakened up and encouraged to a good life. How many a wild beast, how many an untamed bird, there is in human form, whom constant suffering has shut up, as it were, in a cage, who, if any one were to leave him time and place free, would do his best to escape from his salvation.
Suffering is a safeguard against grievous falls; it makes a man know himself, rely on himself, and have faith in his neighbour.
Suffering keeps the soul humble and teaches patience. It is the guardian of purity, and confers the crown of eternal salvation. There is probably no man living but who derives good from suffering, whether he be in a state of sin, or on the eve of conversion, or in the fruition of grace, or on the summit of perfection; for it purges the soul as fire purges iron and purifies gold; it adorns the wrought jewel.
Suffering takes away sin, lessens the fire of purgatory, expels temptation, consumes imperfections, and renovates the spirit. It imparts true confidence, a clear conscience, and constant loftiness of mind. Know that it is a healthy beverage, and a wholesome herb above all the herbs of paradise. It chastises the body which, at any rate, must rot away, but it nourishes the noble soul which shall endure for ever. Behold, the noble soul blooms by suffering even as the beautiful rose by the fresh dews of May!
Suffering makes a wise mind and an experienced man. A man who has not suffered what does he know? Suffering is affection's rod, a paternal blow given to My elect.
Suffering draws and forces men to God, whether they like it or not. He who is always cheerful in suffering, has for his servants joy and sorrow, friend and foe. How often hast thou not thrust an iron bit between the gnashing teeth of thy enemies, and rendered them, with thy joyous praise, and thy meekness in suffering, powerless? Sooner would I create suffering out of nothing than leave my friends unprovided with it; for in suffering, every virtue is preserved, man adorned, his neighbour reformed, and God praised.
Patience in suffering is a living sacrifice, it is a sweet smell of balsam before My divine face, it is an appealing wonder before the entire host of heaven. Never was a skillful knight in a tournament so gazed at as a man who suffers well is gazed at by all the heavenly court. All the saints are on the side of the suffering man; for, indeed, they have all partaken of it before him, and they call out to him with one voice that it contains no poison, but is a wholesome beverage.
Patience in suffering is superior to raising the dead, or the performing of other miracles. It is a narrow way which leads direct to the gates of heaven.
Suffering makes us companions of the martyrs, it carries honour with it, and leads to victory against every foe.
Suffering clothes the soul in garments of rose colour, and in the brightness of purple; in suffering she wears the garland of red roses, and carries the sceptre of green palms.
Suffering is for her as a shining ruby in a young maiden's necklace. Adorned with it, she sings with a sweet voice and a free heart a new song which not all the angelic choirs could ever sing, because they never knew suffering.
Those who suffer are called the poor before the world, but before Me they are called the blessed, for they are My elect.
The Servant:
Oh, how plainly does it appear that Thou art the Eternal Wisdom, since Thou canst bring the truth home with such cogency that no one doubts it any longer. No wonder that he, to whom Thou dost make suffering appear so lovely, can bear sufferings. Lord, in consequence of Thy words, all sufferings in future must be easier and full of joy for me. Lord, my true Father, behold, I kneel before Thee this day, and praise Thee fervently for my present sufferings, and also for the measureless sufferings of the past, which I deemed so very great, because they appeared so hostile to me.
Henry Suso
A Little Book of Eternal Wisdom -CHAPTER XIII.
of Temporal Suffering
The Servant:
Tell me now, tender Lord, what this suffering is which Thou thinkest so very profitable and good?
Eternal Wisdom:
What I mean is every kind of suffering, whether willingly accepted or unwillingly incurred--as when a man makes a virtue of necessity in not wishing to be exempt from suffering without My will, and ordering it, in humble patience, to My eternal praise; and the more willingly he does this, the more precious and agreeable it is to Me.
Touching such kinds of suffering, hear further, and write it down in the bottom of thy heart, and keep it as a sign to set before the spiritual eyes of thy soul. My dwelling is in the pure soul as in a paradise of delights, for which reason I cannot endure that she should lovingly and longingly attach herself to anything. But, from her very nature, she is inclined to pernicious lusts, and therefore I encompass her path with thorns. I garnish all her outlets with adversity, whether she like it or not, so that she may not escape from Me; her ways I strew with tribulation, so that she may not set the foot of her heart's desire anywhere except in the loftiness of My divine nature.
And if all hearts were but one heart, they would not be able to bear even that least reward which I certainly will give for the suffering endured by anyone for love of Me. Such is My eternal order in all nature, from which I do not swerve; what is precious and good must be earned with bitterness; he who recoils at thus, let him recoil; many are indeed called, but few are chosen.
The Servant:
It may well be, Lord, that suffering is an infinite good, provided it be not without measure, and not too dreadful and overwhelming. Lord, Thou alone knowest all hidden things, and didst create all things in weight, in number and measure; Thou knowest also that my sufferings are measureless, that they are wholly beyond my strength. Lord, is there anyone in all this world who has constantly more painful sufferings than I? They are to me invincible--how am I to endure them? Lord, if Thou wouldst send me ordinary sufferings, I could bear them, but I do not see how I can ever endure such extraordinary sufferings as these--sufferings which in so hidden a manner oppress my heart and soul, which only Thou canst perfectly understand.
Eternal Wisdom:
Every sick man imagines that his own sickness is the worst, and every man in distress, his own distress the greatest. Had I sent thee other sufferings it would have been the same. Conform thyself freely to My will under every pain which I ordain thee to suffer, without excepting this or the other suffering. Dost thou not know that I only desire what is best for thee, even with as kindly a feeling as thou thyself? Hence it is that I am the Eternal Wisdom, and that I know better than thou what is for thy good. Hence it is that thou mayst have felt that the sufferings which I send are much more exquisite, and penetrate deeper, and operate better, for him who does them justice, than all self-chosen sufferings. Why then dost thou so complain to Me? Address Me rather as follows: O my most faithful Father, do to me at all times what Thou wilt!
The Servant:
O Lord, it is so easy to talk, but the reality is so difficult to endure, for it is so very painful.
Eternal Wisdom:
If suffering gave no pain, it could not becalled suffering. There is nothing more painful than suffering, and nothing more joyful than to have suffered.
Suffering is a short pain and a long joy.
Suffering gives to the sufferer pain here and joy hereinafter.
Suffering kills suffering.
Suffering is ordained that the sufferer may not suffer eternally. Hadst thou so much spiritual sweetness and divine consolation and heavenly delight as, at all times, to overflow with the divine dew, it would not be for thee so very meritorious of itself, since, for all this together, I should not have to thank thee so much; it could not exculpate thee so much as an affectionate suffering or patience in adversity, in which thou sufferest for My sake. Sooner will ten be perverted and ruined in the midst of a great delight and joyous sweetness than one in the midst of constant suffering and adversity. If thou hadst as much science as all the astronomers, if thou couldst discourse as ably of God as all the tongues of men and angels, and didst possess the treasures of knowledge of all the masters, not all this could avail to advance thee in a good life, so much as if thou didst give thyself up, and didst abandon thyself in all thy sufferings to God; for the former is common to the good and the bad, but the latter is proper to My elect alone. If anyone were able rightly to weigh time and eternity, he ought rather to desire to lie in a fiery furnace for a hundred years than to be deprived in eternity of the smallest reward for the smallest suffering; for this has an end, but the other is without end.
The Servant:
Ah, sweet and dear Lord, how like a sweet harp are these words to a suffering mortal! Lord, Lord, wouldst Thou but cheer me thus and come to visit me in my sufferings, I should be glad to suffer; it would then be better for me to suffer than not to suffer.
Eternal Wisdom:
Now, then, hearken to the sweet music of the distended strings of that Divine harp--a God-suffering man--how richly it sounds, how sweetly it vibrates.
Before the world, suffering is a reproach, but before Me it is an infinite honour.
Suffering is an extinguisher of My wrath, and an obtainer of My favour.
Suffering makes a man in My sight worthy of love, for the sufferer is like Me.
Suffering is a hidden treasure which no one can make good; and though a man might kneel before Me a hundred years to beg a friendly suffering, he nevertheless would not earn it.
Suffering changes an earthly man into a heavenly man.
Suffering brings with it the estrangement of the world, but confers, instead, My intimate familiarity. It lessens delight and increases grace. He to whom I am to show Myself a friend, must be wholly disclaimed and abandoned by the world.
Suffering is the surest way, the nearest way, and the shortest way.He who rightly knows how profitable suffering is, ought to receive it as a gift worthy of God. Oh, how many a man there is who once was a child of eternal death, and plunged in the profoundest sleep, whom suffering has wakened up and encouraged to a good life. How many a wild beast, how many an untamed bird, there is in human form, whom constant suffering has shut up, as it were, in a cage, who, if any one were to leave him time and place free, would do his best to escape from his salvation.
Suffering is a safeguard against grievous falls; it makes a man know himself, rely on himself, and have faith in his neighbour.
Suffering keeps the soul humble and teaches patience. It is the guardian of purity, and confers the crown of eternal salvation. There is probably no man living but who derives good from suffering, whether he be in a state of sin, or on the eve of conversion, or in the fruition of grace, or on the summit of perfection; for it purges the soul as fire purges iron and purifies gold; it adorns the wrought jewel.
Suffering takes away sin, lessens the fire of purgatory, expels temptation, consumes imperfections, and renovates the spirit. It imparts true confidence, a clear conscience, and constant loftiness of mind. Know that it is a healthy beverage, and a wholesome herb above all the herbs of paradise. It chastises the body which, at any rate, must rot away, but it nourishes the noble soul which shall endure for ever. Behold, the noble soul blooms by suffering even as the beautiful rose by the fresh dews of May!
Suffering makes a wise mind and an experienced man. A man who has not suffered what does he know? Suffering is affection's rod, a paternal blow given to My elect.
Suffering draws and forces men to God, whether they like it or not. He who is always cheerful in suffering, has for his servants joy and sorrow, friend and foe. How often hast thou not thrust an iron bit between the gnashing teeth of thy enemies, and rendered them, with thy joyous praise, and thy meekness in suffering, powerless? Sooner would I create suffering out of nothing than leave my friends unprovided with it; for in suffering, every virtue is preserved, man adorned, his neighbour reformed, and God praised.
Patience in suffering is a living sacrifice, it is a sweet smell of balsam before My divine face, it is an appealing wonder before the entire host of heaven. Never was a skillful knight in a tournament so gazed at as a man who suffers well is gazed at by all the heavenly court. All the saints are on the side of the suffering man; for, indeed, they have all partaken of it before him, and they call out to him with one voice that it contains no poison, but is a wholesome beverage.
Patience in suffering is superior to raising the dead, or the performing of other miracles. It is a narrow way which leads direct to the gates of heaven.
Suffering makes us companions of the martyrs, it carries honour with it, and leads to victory against every foe.
Suffering clothes the soul in garments of rose colour, and in the brightness of purple; in suffering she wears the garland of red roses, and carries the sceptre of green palms.
Suffering is for her as a shining ruby in a young maiden's necklace. Adorned with it, she sings with a sweet voice and a free heart a new song which not all the angelic choirs could ever sing, because they never knew suffering.
Those who suffer are called the poor before the world, but before Me they are called the blessed, for they are My elect.
The Servant:
Oh, how plainly does it appear that Thou art the Eternal Wisdom, since Thou canst bring the truth home with such cogency that no one doubts it any longer. No wonder that he, to whom Thou dost make suffering appear so lovely, can bear sufferings. Lord, in consequence of Thy words, all sufferings in future must be easier and full of joy for me. Lord, my true Father, behold, I kneel before Thee this day, and praise Thee fervently for my present sufferings, and also for the measureless sufferings of the past, which I deemed so very great, because they appeared so hostile to me.
Henry Suso
A Little Book of Eternal Wisdom -CHAPTER XIII.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
...I have a little more time this AM so I can fill in the info a little.
When we left after the funeral and lunch and my GS went into rage mode...he hasn't been at home (he has been with us) and HE WANTED TO GO HOME! We would have gone to plan B but following the families lead we finally talked him into coming with us because he needed to feed his fish.
I went into control mode when all of this first happened..but now I realize that the future is out of my hands. My GS's best hope is for my son to get it together and put a life together and for all the quacking I know that that may not happen soon and even if he started again today it would be some time before my GS could live with him. My GS will stay where he is and start school from there...we will be in the picture alot more...and beyond that I have to put it in the hands of God.
What I am finding difficult is not being angry at my son...I have been turning him over for so long that this anger is new. My GS's mother never pushed for money, she always let them see each other...in other words no one has ever really made him take responsibility for his son (me included)...he was there when he wanted to see him and after that he could go back to his own life (or lack thereof).
He kpt saying "I don't know what to do" and I kept saying "I know" but damnit...he DOES know what to do...don't drink, go to meetings, get a job, go to work, don't drink, get a roof over his head, don't drink, DON'T DRINK! Each one of those things is one small step toward a more normal life...all together they may seem overwelming but one by one they add up to being a responsible person and father. WHERE IS THAT SKILLET? And the next time he says "I don't know what to do" I will say just what I said to you guys.
Oh and get THIS!!! At the wake he hit me up for MONEY!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> He wanted to get some dinner and smokes. Well, he has been staying at the families house (they treat him like family) and I know there is food there...so I gave him $4 for smokes (sorry Smoke). He will NOT be slapping MY money down on a bar!!!
Thanks to everyone's kind words...I now know why I have been sent here...all the times I have had to grab the helmit and run to you guys...I never dreamed that this is where God has been leading me. He wrapped his arms around me and made sure I had built my strength to the point where I could survive this...and He gave me you...so I could receive many words of comfort from people who truly, truly understand...what a gift. The nature of her death really shines a light on the ignorance of many of the people around me. But not you!! I know that I will be allowed to hash and rehash my feelings here and receive many words of wisdom in return.
Peace amid the storm...
JT
When we left after the funeral and lunch and my GS went into rage mode...he hasn't been at home (he has been with us) and HE WANTED TO GO HOME! We would have gone to plan B but following the families lead we finally talked him into coming with us because he needed to feed his fish.
I went into control mode when all of this first happened..but now I realize that the future is out of my hands. My GS's best hope is for my son to get it together and put a life together and for all the quacking I know that that may not happen soon and even if he started again today it would be some time before my GS could live with him. My GS will stay where he is and start school from there...we will be in the picture alot more...and beyond that I have to put it in the hands of God.
What I am finding difficult is not being angry at my son...I have been turning him over for so long that this anger is new. My GS's mother never pushed for money, she always let them see each other...in other words no one has ever really made him take responsibility for his son (me included)...he was there when he wanted to see him and after that he could go back to his own life (or lack thereof).
He kpt saying "I don't know what to do" and I kept saying "I know" but damnit...he DOES know what to do...don't drink, go to meetings, get a job, go to work, don't drink, get a roof over his head, don't drink, DON'T DRINK! Each one of those things is one small step toward a more normal life...all together they may seem overwelming but one by one they add up to being a responsible person and father. WHERE IS THAT SKILLET? And the next time he says "I don't know what to do" I will say just what I said to you guys.
Oh and get THIS!!! At the wake he hit me up for MONEY!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> He wanted to get some dinner and smokes. Well, he has been staying at the families house (they treat him like family) and I know there is food there...so I gave him $4 for smokes (sorry Smoke). He will NOT be slapping MY money down on a bar!!!
Thanks to everyone's kind words...I now know why I have been sent here...all the times I have had to grab the helmit and run to you guys...I never dreamed that this is where God has been leading me. He wrapped his arms around me and made sure I had built my strength to the point where I could survive this...and He gave me you...so I could receive many words of comfort from people who truly, truly understand...what a gift. The nature of her death really shines a light on the ignorance of many of the people around me. But not you!! I know that I will be allowed to hash and rehash my feelings here and receive many words of wisdom in return.
Peace amid the storm...
JT
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