I should know
 

How do you know if the drinker 1.just likes to drink 2.has problem 3.is an aocholic

I know I refer to my H as an A but sometimes I just wonder, how do you know the difference? I have read that some people can drink all their lives and never become an A. Am I worring for nothing? am I pitching a fit for no reason?

How do you know where your A fits?

thanks Debbie

Hey Debbie,
The label isn't the important thing. The important thing is how it is affecting you. If his drinking is affecting you and your relationship with him, it's a problem.
Gabe

I used to wonder the same thing. My husband could go days, weeks, sometimes even months without drinking. I wondered so many times if I was the one that was wrong in thinking that he was an alcoholic. I checked every list there was that I could find listing symptoms, behaviour, etc. to find the answer. But what I finally learned and accepted is that regardless of what the label was (or wasn't), his drinking was causing problems.
May you somehow find peace of mind.

I used to worry that one to death too regarding Ward. But his drinking really ISN'T causing any problems. It was my attitude that was causing the problems.

Now the Beav?? That is whole other thing. He is an "in your face" drunk. But it is still up to him to call a duck a duck. How codie of me to do all that research to try to give it a name! I know already that it is toxic and I need to treat it as such.

Hugs,
JT

I often catch myself wondering who has the problem here. Social and casual drinking has been in our lives for 20 years of our marriage. It's only been the last 4 years that it has begun to (severely) affect our relationship. Has she always acted the same way and only recently am I not being able to cope? No, it's different now. Now she drinks every night, she becomes a completely different person, and I don't get to talk to her when I get home from work because she's lit or passed out. She wakes and can't remember anything, I wake and feel resentful (but say nothing) and the cycle is fulfilled ready for a new day. I know what you're thinking. I have to take care of myself and thus break the cycle. I'm getting better at that bit by bit, day by day. I just look ahead down that road and see the destination as the ultimate demise of our marriage. That hurts the most. I'd say this qualifies as her drinking being a problem for her and my reaction to her drinking a problem for me.

FF

"I just look ahead down that road and see the destination as the ultimate demise of our marriage."

I guess we must be neighbors, I'm looking down that exact same road! Take care!