brownhorse

One of those days. Hard to feel happy. I hate this disease. I wish 15 years ago I had been strong enough to leave when I knew things weren't right.

Now, I am a single mother of two. I hate dating. It's weird being with someone who doesn't know you. I feel happy sometimes but the rest of the time still feel like I am pretending and out of control.

Do you ever get used to it?

I would never give up my kids but I would give anything to have picked a man that didn't have this disease and never experience this pain and guilt. Thanks for listening. I just needed a little pity party. Kids are at their friends house and loneliness has set in. I fear when they grow up and move on I am going to be lonely forever.

martina12

Hi Im so with you? I am also married to an AH and have 2 lovely kids...AH moved out a few months ago and I am also feeling very lonely. I haven't ever experienced the total heartache that I am feeling now? I try to reason that if we were still together I would be maybe laughing and I remember the fantastic times we had together.....then the real hit of hurt comes into play...the lack of respect etc..Ugh it hurts so really bad that it feels like I have been stabbed in the chest...I feel your pain coz I'm feeling it too...