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Alcoholic husband.

Old 09-28-2013, 06:14 PM
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Alcoholic husband.

Hi,

I'm an opiate addict and I'm only 5 days clean but I'm really determined to beat this addiction. My husband has been drinking heavy (till he passes out drunk) has thrown up in his sleep, almost died, sleep walks and pees on random things..it's out if control. I'm really not sure how I can be sober with him being drunk all the time? Hd doesn't drink till after work but it's all night till he passes out. He talks about things no one cares about because he is the only one drunk. It's only funny to him. He doesn't remember anything we talk about the next day, never remembers watching a movie..I'm getting really depressed.
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Old 09-29-2013, 06:45 AM
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Hi, Ashamedof, glad you found your way to SR. Have you considered Alanon to help you deal w/your AH? Here's a link to help you find a meeting: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Many here have found Alanon and SR to be a great combination; you may find the same. Here's a few recent threads on that topic: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nderstand.html and http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...elt-great.html

Do you also visit the "Substance Abuse" forums here for your opiate issues? I know in this forum, we have a number of "double winners", who are A's themselves as well as having a friend, family member or spouse who is an A. I have to imagine you'd find similar situations in that area, too.

Also, would this be helpful to you? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

Please do hang around and keep posting and reading--and I wish you strength in dealing w/your own addiction issues as well!
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Old 09-29-2013, 06:55 AM
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Ashamedof, Listen to your inner voice that wants sobriety from the opiates, and detach from him whenever necessary.
If he's ranting go to another room. Or go to a meeting.
Don't let yourself get pulled into any arguments.
Baby that sobriety, it's 5 days old and I want to hear it makes it to 5 months, and 5 years.
One thing at a time here...right now simply guard that sobriety with your life, every minute of everyday.
You don't have to tackle his issues. Simply guard that sobriety. Don't take on too much at once is what I am trying to say!
Can you go find a serene place when he's on his nightly binge? A good book? A wonderful movie? Or chat here? Anything to not let it affect you.
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Old 09-29-2013, 09:27 AM
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Originally Posted by honeypig View Post
Hi, Ashamedof, glad you found your way to SR. Have you considered Alanon to help you deal w/your AH? Here's a link to help you find a meeting: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Many here have found Alanon and SR to be a great combination; you may find the same. Here's a few recent threads on that topic: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nderstand.html and http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...elt-great.html

Do you also visit the "Substance Abuse" forums here for your opiate issues? I know in this forum, we have a number of "double winners", who are A's themselves as well as having a friend, family member or spouse who is an A. I have to imagine you'd find similar situations in that area, too.

Also, would this be helpful to you? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

Please do hang around and keep posting and reading--and I wish you strength in dealing w/your own addiction issues as well!
Thank you very much for this information, I appreciate it! I am in the substance abuse forums and they have been wonderful towards me. I'm 6 days clean now and I'm starting to feel much better!
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Old 09-29-2013, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted by BlueSkies1 View Post
Ashamedof, Listen to your inner voice that wants sobriety from the opiates, and detach from him whenever necessary.
If he's ranting go to another room. Or go to a meeting.
Don't let yourself get pulled into any arguments.
Baby that sobriety, it's 5 days old and I want to hear it makes it to 5 months, and 5 years.
One thing at a time here...right now simply guard that sobriety with your life, every minute of everyday.
You don't have to tackle his issues. Simply guard that sobriety. Don't take on too much at once is what I am trying to say!
Can you go find a serene place when he's on his nightly binge? A good book? A wonderful movie? Or chat here? Anything to not let it affect you.
Thank you, you're correct I need to be selfish for me , at least for now. I can tackle his addiction at a later time. I usually do sit on my iPad while he rants on the couch with his bottle of bourbon. He tells me I never spend time with him or listen to him..well, that's because he is drunk, talks about nonsense. We have such a great time when he is sober, he talks about important issues and isn't blabbering. If I go to another room he will yell for me till I come out so that just pisses me off even more. I guess he doesn't want to get drunk alone. Even if I'm just a shell sitting here silently. I'm careful not to push him when he is drunk, I did one time and he kicked in the bedroom door, I hid in the bathroom ...

He is in denial. I tell him about what he did the night before and he either doesn't remember it or laughs it off.
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Old 09-29-2013, 10:10 AM
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His addiction is his, just like your addiction is yours. No one made you 6 days clean except yourself. You'll never tackle his addiction with 100% success. That's all on him. You should put all your effort into you n learn to detach from him.

I hope you can continue to stay clean. I applaud you for making it 6 days!
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