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He came in and passed out. I'm glad.

Old 09-27-2013, 08:02 PM
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He came in and passed out. I'm glad.

I'm glad because I don't feel like hearing him discuss:

Politics
The state of our society
The dumbing down of our children
Government surveillance
Conspiracy theories
How little gas is in his truck (the truck he selected by the way, knowing it's a gas guzzler)
How music is sh*t now and only the old music is quality
How unfair fish prices are at the grocery store

I've had a lovely evening at home without him being nosy wondering what I'm doing. The dog and I get along splendidly. I pity him more than I love him now.

He hasn't come home drunk in a long time (no money), but just now I got that feeling again. The feeling reminds me this is exactly what this relationship boils down to. I can't expect much more from him, because I will be let down. I'm not done with "Codependent no more" but living my own life has been so freeing for me. He started mumbling about a motorcycle and a prostate. I just walked out the room.

Anyway, nice to be on here again, and I'm glad he's passed out.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:12 PM
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They have lots of opinions, don't they?

It's great when they pass out. The horror begins when they wake up.

Glad you're back.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:14 PM
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It's a good feeling. You'd never think that the warthog-like snore of a passed out A would be sweeter than music, but it is. Give the dog a scratch behind the ears for me.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:24 PM
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Uhmm, could we be married to the same man? Mine is usually out by 7:30 or so. Tonight is the exception. One question...Does your husband believe that he has any sort of problem?
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by rry1177 View Post
I'm glad because I don't feel like hearing him discuss:

Politics
The state of our society
The dumbing down of our children
Government surveillance
Conspiracy theories
How little gas is in his truck (the truck he selected by the way, knowing it's a gas guzzler)
How music is sh*t now and only the old music is quality
How unfair fish prices are at the grocery store

Whoa! I thought that the opinionated thing was just my exab. He would rant about anything and everything. I heard everything you mentioned except the fish prices. But he DID rant about farmed fish a lot.

Putting Facebook together with an alcoholic on a rant is a bad combination. Looking back, that is when I started shutting him out. He would drink between 10 p.m. and midnight and then go looking for a fight on Facebook. We did not live together and I did not know he was drinking, but the evidence was there on Facebook in the morning. It was so embarrassing. I remember I lied to him about why I wanted him to defriend my family, rather than tell him the truth that he was embarrassing me. Note to self: If you have to defriend your own boyfriend because he embarrasses you on Facebook, you might have a problem...drinking or otherwise.
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Old 09-27-2013, 09:21 PM
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Originally Posted by rry1177 View Post
I'm glad because I don't feel like hearing him discuss:

Politics
The state of our society
The dumbing down of our children
Government surveillance
Conspiracy theories
How little gas is in his truck (the truck he selected by the way, knowing it's a gas guzzler)
How music is sh*t now and only the old music is quality
How unfair fish prices are at the grocery store

I've had a lovely evening at home without him being nosy wondering what I'm doing. The dog and I get along splendidly. I pity him more than I love him now.

He hasn't come home drunk in a long time (no money), but just now I got that feeling again. The feeling reminds me this is exactly what this relationship boils down to. I can't expect much more from him, because I will be let down. I'm not done with "Codependent no more" but living my own life has been so freeing for me. He started mumbling about a motorcycle and a prostate. I just walked out the room.

Anyway, nice to be on here again, and I'm glad he's passed out.
I love this. And know exactly what you are saying.

My current partner drinks, heavily at times, but is not an alcoholic. I did wonder though when we first met until I started to notice he actually remembers what he says when he has been drinking and expects me to as well!

He becomes quite animated when he drinks and talks more like a lot of people do and sometimes when I am tired I just can't be bothered listening to him. I wish he would pass out.

I can laugh about it tho as there is a certain irony to it.
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Old 09-27-2013, 09:28 PM
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Whoa! I thought that the opinionated thing was just my exab. He would rant about anything and everything. I heard everything you mentioned except the fish prices. But he DID rant about farmed fish a lot.
Farmed fish?
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Old 09-27-2013, 09:34 PM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
Farmed fish?
Yes, my exab was big into fly fishing and the environment. He had strong opinions about farmed salmon.
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Old 09-27-2013, 09:48 PM
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I remember those days like they were yesterday. AH would bitch about anything and everything on the news and he'd actually change his views on some things that we shared while sober just to bait me. He was a maniac to say the least! I think he did it just to hear himself yammer. Ugh.....................
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Old 09-27-2013, 09:49 PM
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I know the rantings well. My AH doesn't rant anymore because he knows I won't listen to it anymore. His were always done when he was stone cold sober. And, once he got on meds for anxiety, his rants had less of an edge to them.

According to him: our neighbors were murderers and were going to come and kill us any day(big conspiracy theory issues here), the government was going to steal our money from our bank so we need to bury it all in the backyard, everyone (and I mean everyone) was out to get him and he was going to tell me why, society is going to heck in a handbasket because of women's lib movements(ummm, yep I was a woman standing right in front of him and no, I wasn't offended, thank you very much, UGH).
I could go on but I just wanted to let you know that there are others who understand!
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Old 09-27-2013, 10:21 PM
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Originally Posted by nbay2013 View Post
Whoa! I thought that the opinionated thing was just my exab. He would rant about anything and everything. I heard everything you mentioned except the fish prices. But he DID rant about farmed fish a lot.

Putting Facebook together with an alcoholic on a rant is a bad combination. Looking back, that is when I started shutting him out. He would drink between 10 p.m. and midnight and then go looking for a fight on Facebook. We did not live together and I did not know he was drinking, but the evidence was there on Facebook in the morning. It was so embarrassing. I remember I lied to him about why I wanted him to defriend my family, rather than tell him the truth that he was embarrassing me. Note to self: If you have to defriend your own boyfriend because he embarrasses you on Facebook, you might have a problem...drinking or otherwise.

This is what I call "drinking and posting" I belong to a website unrelated to topics such as this one and it is actually in the rules ornon a sticky:

Pleases do not drink and post or your posting privileges may be revoked

.

Haha. Understood tho. There are times I have to "remind" my a that it might not be a good idea to post now.
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Old 09-28-2013, 06:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Yurt View Post
Uhmm, could we be married to the same man? Mine is usually out by 7:30 or so. Tonight is the exception. One question...Does your husband believe that he has any sort of problem?
He knows he's an A. I don't think he believes alcoholism has anything to do with his many problems. His finances are better than before, but still makes very little money. He's in tech school too, so I give him credit for sticking with a strange work schedule and school now.

Detaching in the same house is difficult, but I do it by doing more outside the house alone. I get massages (ooh lala fancy right), taking a dance class, some Wednesdays I go to the movies. Plus he doesn't shop with me so making time for ME has made living with him more bearable. He's a very kind man, but the drinking has ruined his life and I'm determined it won't ruin mine.
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Old 09-28-2013, 06:27 AM
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When my RABF was still drinking I remember one time he was ranting about the dispute between the World Wrestling Federation and the World Wildlife Fund over the WWF initials.
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Old 09-28-2013, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
When my RABF was still drinking I remember one time he was ranting about the dispute between the World Wrestling Federation and the World Wildlife Fund over the WWF initials.
I have always wondered about that...
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Old 09-28-2013, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by DreamsofSerenity View Post
I have always wondered about that...
The World Wildlife Fund sued the World Wrestling Federation because they wanted rights to the WWF logo. They won the lawsuit, but RABF's argument was that it was a pointless lawsuit because they had both been called WWF prior to that and it wasn't a problem. His rant was that the World Wildlife Fund wasted all this money on a lawsuit, money that could have been spent saving the forests or something.
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Old 09-28-2013, 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
When my RABF was still drinking I remember one time he was ranting about the dispute between the World Wrestling Federation and the World Wildlife Fund over the WWF initials.
That is absolutely hilarious. Lol
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Old 09-28-2013, 01:08 PM
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lizw----I am also still giggling over this one, also!

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Old 09-28-2013, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by choublak View Post
When my RABF was still drinking I remember one time he was ranting about the dispute between the World Wrestling Federation and the World Wildlife Fund over the WWF initials.
I'm laughing with tears running down my face. My DD is looking at me like I've been drinking. Oh, my gosh, yes arguments over things like this!
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Old 09-29-2013, 12:10 PM
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God I love this stuff. There is such a freedom in being able to laugh about it aye?

I spent years in al anon being so earnest that I could not see the funny side to the craziness of alcoholism.

In the last few years I got a new sponsor and I just experienced this huge let go and finally stopped seeing myself as a victim.

I never knew how much bad my victim attitude was as I was so busy feeling like a victim about being a victim. As crazy as that sounds.

As they say, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
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