Katiekate

Your husband needs to check himself.

Croissant

Did you ask him why it was there?

DreamsofSerenity

You are actually under-reacting, IMO. If he leaves it lying around again, I'd take it and hide it where no one could EVER find it. Then feign ignorance. If his gun's location is not important, then he shouldn't be too upset when he can't find it anywhere.

Freebird13

Ditto to what everyone else said with one addition: If he carries a gun for work, isn't the safety of his coworkers and perhaps the public in danger because he could possibly use poor judgment and use the gun in a hungover haze?

BoxinRotz

What you need to do with an irresponsible pistol owner is take that gun to your local state police barracks n drop it off n tell them your husband is incapable of owning a handgun responsibly.

They will gladly take it off your hands! Don't put your children's lives in danger. You will regret it!!!

NWGRITS

If he's in law enforcement, then it's fairly likely the Boys Club would stick up for him and it would all be swept under the rug. Not saying it's a definite outcome, but they tend to cover for their own to the families' detriment. It's unfortunate but true.

I'd also suggest surrending the gun to the local police if he's not the local police. You can always tell his superiors, if he is a cop, but be prepared for their own brand of enabling. Anyway, I hope things are going well for you today.

pinkdog

Hi Going, I don't think you are overeacting. It scares me just to think about.

coolchick

So very sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Guns and alcohol do NOT mix. Ever. You need to think of your children first. It is your job to protect them. Even if it is from their father. If you cannot take away his gun and he refuses to accept responsibility for keeping it locked up safely then you need to leave the house where the gun is. No maybes about it.

My husband (sober for five years after 40+ years of drinking) had a lot of guns. The day he went into rehab I went out to his man cave where he spent all of his time drinking and found eight rifles/shotguns/handguns all loaded and leaning against his chair. I was petrified. I called someone who knew about guns to help me unload them and then I disappeared them. All of them. He had 23 altogether.

When he got out of recovery he was furious with me and still is to this day. But I don't care. He is never getting those guns back. We now have three grandchildren all under five years old and I refuse to have a gun anywhere near them.

He doesn't care about anyone but himself of course and has already bought some pellet guns to shoot "for fun". He still is extremely angry he doesn't have his real guns. But that's just too bad for him. My grandchildren (and myself since I was threatened with being shot by him several times) do not need to deal with any anxiety around guns anymore. I just refuse.

He never admits to any wrongdoing even for threatening to kill me and instead feels wronged himself because I "stole" his guns. Oh well. I sleep much better at night and just walk away when he starts quacking.

You have a more difficult situation because you said he uses a gun for his work. You need to to make some tough decisions about what you are going to do and I wish you strength and courage.

Tuffgirl

No, you are not over-reacting. Really, I think you already know the answer to this anyway. Loaded gun + kids under the age of 6 = TROUBLE.

atalose

For your children's sake one of you needs to step up and become the more healthy parent putting THIER needs first. And right now that would appear to be you.

How about you put YOUR embarrassment aside and those thoughts of losing a house and stick with the facts not assumptions.

And the fact of the matter is that a known drunk is leaving a loaded gun lying around in a home where children would easily have access to it.

Once we know something we can't un know it so moving forward your choice is to get your children out of a potentially horrific life threatening situation or be negligent along with the alcoholic.

GoingAlone2

Thank you all so much for your comments. I had a very real conversation with him. I told him if I ever see the gun in the house again, then I'm leaving with the children & I will take full custody. Because if I leave it will not be because I do not love him, but it will be because he is making our home an unhealthy place for our kids & therefore he shouldn't be around them alone. I'm still not sure if he completely grasped how dangerous the situation with the gun was or if he knew he was in the wrong & was being defensive. Either way, he started crying which I've only seen him do a few times. I think he actually realized how close I am to leaving with the kids. He hasn't drank since then & I haven't seen the gun. Hopefully this behavior sticks around, but I'm not getting my hopes up just yet. I've heard this song & dance before.