police called me....

Old 09-20-2013, 08:27 PM
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police called me....

An officer from 2 states away called my cell last night. I knew it was about my stbxah because it was from the state he ran off to with his addict girlfriend. I have had these calls numerous times in the past and they always sent me into codie panic mode. This time was different. I asked the officer if my husband was dead. He said no. I told him I didnt want to be involved, gave him father in laws number and asked that he not call me again. Then i sat and let it sink in. He could be hurt, in jail, etc and I really didnt care. My only thought was that I had better find out if I am still liable if he hurts someone since our divorce isnt final. I turned my phone off and slept with out a problem, something I never could have done while with him in the same situation. I feel like a big part of me accepted that it is over and that is for the best last night. My entire being seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Is this what the beginning of recovery feels like?
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Old 09-20-2013, 08:31 PM
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Sometimes when we're climbing that mountain.....

. . . we don't realize how far up the dang thing we've gone until something gives us pause and we turn around and see how different the view is.

This is an inspiration to me. Thanks for the sharing of it!
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Old 09-20-2013, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Tryingtoletgo3 View Post
... Is this what the beginning of recovery feels like?
That is exactly what it feels like to me. It's called "serenity".

By the way, congratulations on handling that so well

Mike
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Old 09-21-2013, 12:06 AM
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Wow. You are on the road to recovery. Good for you not getting pulled back into the drama.
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Old 09-21-2013, 06:46 AM
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This is where some would insert pillow to cushion the blows of life n you were like... Where is that pillow? Oh, there it is... n you laid your head back down! You needed it more than he did! Good for you! Hope you had a great nights sleep!
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Old 09-21-2013, 07:36 AM
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Box- i did sleep well

Now I have a beautiful weekend with my 3 boys to tend to. We are headed to the zoo and a neat fall market.

I held onto the words my stbxah was spewing at me about being sober and the strides he had made since he left me and i was longing for those words. They were ******** though and he has once again showed me that with his actions.

On the upside...if he goes back to prison I may actually see a bit of child support
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Old 09-21-2013, 07:46 AM
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Wow!
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Old 09-21-2013, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Tryingtoletgo3 View Post
Box- i did sleep well

Now I have a beautiful weekend with my 3 boys to tend to. We are headed to the zoo and a neat fall market.

I held onto the words my stbxah was spewing at me about being sober and the strides he had made since he left me and i was longing for those words. They were ******** though and he has once again showed me that with his actions.

On the upside...if he goes back to prison I may actually see a bit of child support
I want to go to the zoo too! Have fun! Ohhhhh n can you take some pics n post them? lol

It's all about the action baby! Don't sing it... BRING IT!
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Old 09-21-2013, 09:04 AM
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Your Question . . . .

Originally Posted by Tryingtoletgo3 View Post
Is this what the beginning of recovery feels like?
Your Answer . . . .

Originally Posted by Tryingtoletgo3 View Post

Now I have a beautiful weekend with my 3 boys to tend to. We are headed to the zoo and a neat fall market.
THIS is what a Grand Slam feels like.

You go, girl.
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Old 09-21-2013, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Tryingtoletgo3 View Post
An officer from 2 states away called my cell last night. I knew it was about my stbxah because it was from the state he ran off to with his addict girlfriend. I have had these calls numerous times in the past and they always sent me into codie panic mode. This time was different. I asked the officer if my husband was dead. He said no. I told him I didnt want to be involved, gave him father in laws number and asked that he not call me again. Then i sat and let it sink in. He could be hurt, in jail, etc and I really didnt care. My only thought was that I had better find out if I am still liable if he hurts someone since our divorce isnt final. I turned my phone off and slept with out a problem, something I never could have done while with him in the same situation. I feel like a big part of me accepted that it is over and that is for the best last night. My entire being seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Is this what the beginning of recovery feels like?
This really great!!! Good for you.
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Old 09-21-2013, 10:48 AM
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Serenity is the absence of internal conflict and one of the rewards of working a program of recovery....

How does it feel to go from being a caterpillar to a butterfly?
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Old 09-21-2013, 12:23 PM
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We made a new friend at the zoo. Wanted to bring him home, but he wouldnt fit in my purse.

Thank you all for the encouragement and support.

Johnny- i feel like a butterfly today!

Ive realized that I can love my stbxah. I can grieve him leaving and feel the heartache. I can take time to cry when I need to. I cant let losing him control me though or stop my life from moving forward. It will take a very long time to heal from this or trust another human again. I can live and grow as I heal though. For now, one day at a time. Every day I will recite in my head...God grant me the serenity...I will make rational choices and I will breathe and make it through.
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Old 09-22-2013, 03:36 PM
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WOOOO HOOOO!

You made my day by showing that we can change dramatically. A great power of example.
Thank you!
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