Something I found surprising.

Old 09-22-2013, 08:53 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BookNerd View Post
It was only this past summer that I really came face to face with my husband's alcoholism, that I stopped denying the seriousness of his problem, even though he's been drinking heavily for 10 years...

It makes me sad to think that the life I live every day is so messed up that "normal" people can't believe what I tell them is true.
Hi BookNerd. Unfortunately, the term alcoholic seems to have a lot of preconceived ideas/denial associated with it...which is part of the problem. You yourself say you have only just stopped denying it, so as hard as it is, your family and friends may not have the same lightbulb moment, just because you have!

If it makes you feel better, even though I have a problem with alcohol, I doubt my friends or some of my family would believe it. No one else sees what goes on behind closed doors, and you have no obligation to explain your opinion.

Even....let's just say....your husband DIDNT have a problem with alcohol....if it's affecting you, and you cannot stay in the marriage, then it's valid!

Good luck and hope it all works out.
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Old 09-22-2013, 09:48 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by RhodeIsland View Post
I am surprised more people don't record their AH/AW behavior, for both "No, honest look this is how last night was." and as evidence in court or even to those who would minimize what you've been through. We all have cell phones.
And maybe to remind ourselves during a weak moment.
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Old 09-22-2013, 11:33 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Just an FYI one of the regular posters is a lawyer and she has commented regularly that recording someone without their consent is not allowable in most legal situations.

My experience was it did not "matter" what kind of evidence I showed my loved one....he was not going to believe me (or he thought it was funny).

Now recording it to remind me that is a great idea....
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Old 09-22-2013, 03:12 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I recommend Alanon, where you'll have lots of opportunity to talk with others who understand your problems. Most people don't want to hear tales of misery, or hear it in very small doses. Since you don't like the feedback you're getting from people who know nothing about alcoholism, it's best to talk to people who do understand.
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