DefofLov

After a weekend full of tears for a thousand reasons I called a counseling hotline to sort out my issues. As always the hotline was helpful to me and I felt better when I hung up the phone. I asked about Al-Anon and meeting at various sites. They told me where there would be on the following day. So, yesterday I went and only one other person showed up and we have a nice personal Al-Anon meeting. I told her about how I got there and events led up to my current recovery. I really enjoyed talking to her and will attend the meeting again next week, hopefully there will be more people there. Thingz just get better and better as time goes by. I am looking forward to future meetings and a summer full of healing.

However, all those tears this weekend was really frustrating for me. I was crying for everythings. Sheesh. Maybe I was just cleansing my soul. Can anyone else relate to having crying sessions??

Gabe

Hey Def,
I'm glad you had a good first meeting experience. I hope there are more people there next week.
As for crying sessions...my Dad used to say that tears are cleansing.
If that's the case, I am the cleanest person on the planet.
Gabe

shyQcodep

Def, that's just wonderful that you made it to an f2f meeting.

The weekend of tears sounds like building up your desperation level - savor that feeling. Desperation is such a gift. I could not have walked into Alanon without reaching that kind of desperation myself, and I cried when I called the service center for meeting info, I cried when I got the return call, and I cried all through my first meeting.

I could not have made the modest progress which I've had in my recovery in Alanon/AA/DA without those tears and that desperation. It wasn't the bottom that really got my attention (that took another 2 years), but it got me started.

By the way, I went to an Alanon meeting last night and that was a 2 person meeting as well. It was a really good little (although a bit short) meeting. It gave a relative newcomer an opportunity to ask a few questions in a less structured environment, and it gave me an opportunity to be helpful (not something I really experience every day - I need to savor that right now).

James

Magichappens

I have heard that crying is cleansing. I used to cry a lot from frustration and anger. I cried from fear. I have a lot less of that these days. I still cry from loss, empathy, and joy. I think if I ever don't cry, I won't be alive. My eyes express my life. Hugs, Magic

jessieandme2003

I've cried so much at times I wondered if I'd ever stop. But it is a good release, and I know I feel worse when I don't let myself cry it all out.

Glad you found a meeting, and that you are looking forward to the summer.

amarie

Def, don't ever think that crying isn't normal. I was crying hysterically at my first f2f meeting. My AH was on a binge and I didn't know what to do. They were very supportive and helped me to calm down. One woman even went out with me after the meeting to get a cup of coffee at Denny's to make sure I was alright. I'm 47 and I still have my crying times. Sometimes you just need that release and then you start to feel better. Try to focus more on you, your summer (not that it has started here) and try to have some fun. Just think--Maybe the sun might come out some day. This might be our first summer without a tan!!!
Take care and keep in touch.

DefofLov

Thanx everyone...It felt like the tears meant that I was not progressing and my boyfriend told me that the tears meant that I was stagnant. I told him I dont think he was being fair (especially considering the fact that he was part of the reason for the tears...we have a long distance relationship and he has been too busy for me lately). After reading all of your posts I feel much better about the tears...In fact I think I will go cry right now (kidding). He really has it in his head that I was stagnant this past weekend but that it his opinion and he is entitled to it...anywayz, I dont feel bad about crying anymore. :wink2: