Sueski

Carrie, my deepest sympathy for this hellish situation, to both of you. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you both. I am so glad to hear that she has no shame about what happened - so often women don't understand that it is not their fault. Good for her for standing up and fighting back. You raised a strong young woman, and that says a lot about you.

You are in my thoughts.

PippiLngstockng

Just caught this.

I was 25 when knocked senseless and raped by a stranger. Detectives, hospital, reporters.

Was strong and outspoken in the first weeks.

The PTSD set in afterwards.

That experience remains with me because it seemed to get into my cells and I eventually came to accept that I was going to have to alter my life to try to feel as safe as possible.

Expect this to get worse for your daughter before it gets better. Give her lots of love, security and support. And take care of yourself, too. Also, watch she doesn't wind up with the wrong guy afterwards, like I did. Bad people are attracted to vulnerable people. Xah loved that I was afraid. Made me easy to manipulate and my family grateful to him for taking care of me. Little did we realize...

Not wanting you to future-trip, but just hoping you all might learn from my experience.

Blessings to you and your daughter. Either of you could Pm me anytime.

nbay2013

Hi Pippi,

This is great advice..thank you so much. I have no illusion this experience could very well become trauma for her so I am educating myself quickly. It's been over a week since the rape and she is coming down from the anger and intensity and is sleeping all the time. But then again, so is her entire support team. We are coming down from the adrenaline. My daughter has a boyfriend whom she lives with and has been with for three years. He was just over visiting and wants to get some counseling too. At first I was worried he would choose anger and denial as a coping method. So this is a good sign.

"Bad people are attracted to vulnerable people" Wow..that is a scary idea.

spiderqueen

nbay, I am so very sorry you are going through this. I have two daughters, and I simply don't know how I would help them cope with such a terrible thing.

Sending strength and encouragement, wish I could do more.
SQ

nbay2013

Thank you spiderqueen;

I text my daughter in the morning and evening that I love her forever. I listen to her without comment, without judgement. I don't push her to talk. I keep on telling her, "it's not your fault" when she starts down the road to questioning her actions. I hold her, I brush her hair, we watch a lot of stupid YouTube videos and laugh. We put makeup on each other and we got pedicures.

I am so grateful she is alive, I love her with all my heart and soul. My goal is to be her touchstone, her rock and a soft place to fall.

HopefulinFLA

You're daughter is so very lucky to have a mom like you! I think you're both going to be just fine.