Hope4happiness

I have been no contact with my Ex ABF since he dumped me and walked out a little over 2 weeks ago. He just called. I didn't take the call and he didn't leave a Voicemail.... What do I do????????? I finally have been starting to feel better and come to terms with the fact that our relationship is over and that I dodged a bullet because he is a lying con artist. (see my first thread on here a couple weeks ago). But my heart still aches and my co-dependence is rearing its ugly head!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!

BoxinRotz

Go watch a movie. Read a book. Take a nice hot bubble bath...

ZenMe

No matter what stick to your guns! Maybe imagine he butt dialed you. Go back and read your old posts if that helps.

marie1960

Clean the junk drawer, rearrange some furniture, wash the car, pull weeds, go for a walk, keep posting here , we are listening, call a friend. Do whatever it takes to get yourself over this bump.

You are stronger than you are giving yourself credit for. I hope you choose not to open that can of worms. I can assure you nothing has changed in two weeks, if you truly want change, it begins with you.


you are in charge of you! If you allow his unacceptable back into your life, you will get more unacceptable behavior. It really is that simple.

Raider

Hope take care of you. Make yourself #1. Right now it's all about you and you alone. God bless

nbay2013

If that were me, I would think, "Really? And he couldn't even bother to leave a message like a gentleman?" After two weeks, it's just one of those annoying missed calls that feels manipulative to me. I only call back missed calls when it's someone I talk to most days and we have the understanding of viewing a missed called as an invitation. This is not an invitation; just a reminder that he is there.

dandylion

Dear Hope---what happens if one "takes the bait" in this kind of situation is that you won't feel better---you will feel much worse--and experience even more hurt and self loathing. It is very similar to the alcoholic giving into the impulse to drink and going on a binge---then followed with increased negative feelings.

Best to review all the ways this relationship hurt you---and why you went no contact, in the first place. That is the best antidote of all!!

Stay busy, busy, busy.

dandylion

readerbaby71

Ignore and keep yourself busy. In a day or two you'll forget that he called.

Seren

The idea of reading your old posts might really be helpful during these times! One thing some others have done is change the ring tone on their phone to a quacking duck for the person they are in NC with--works wonders I'm told. I must admit that my husband did change the way his son's phone number was stored in his phone to read "Alcoholic Nonsense" at one point.

Wavy

What would you have been doing if he hadn't have called? Do that. Nothing has happened really (meant in the nicest possible way!), nothing has changed, keep on keeping on. You are doing great

BlueSkies1

I will not return this call...I will not return this call...and if the urge gets too strong I am going to microwave my cell phone....

funkynassau

Get a new phone # then you dont have to worry about him calling you again.

nbay2013

There is one more thing I thought of from my experience. The first time I tried to break if off from my ex I didn't know about No Contact. No Contact is not meant to punish your A, it's meant to protect the friends/family of the A and allow us to freedom to start thinking our own thoughts.

So the first time around for me, I was able to receive his emails, I could receive phone calls, texts, Facebook, etc. This time around...and I am NOT saying it's easy, but it IS necessary. (1) I set up my email so his emails are forwarded to another location to keep me from obsessing on if I have received an email from him..plus it helps with impulsive replies. (2) I blocked his phone number on the website of my cell phone provider (3) I removed his contact information from my cell phone to reduce the chance for butt dials and impulse calls. (4) I told my friends that if they see him, do not tell me. (5) I blocked him AND his friends (not necessarily mutual friends) but his exclusive friends from Facebook. Facebook allows all sorts of way for US to obsess on them.

If you do this, you will feel some freedom; eventually.

jacrazz

Do what I do...go to the "Things a normie wouldn't know" thread! It always keeps me in check! That and the "you know you're an active alcoholic when.."'thread! That's the one that give you the jolt you need! Stay strong!!

atalose

Block his # and truely be done with that relationship other wise you are keeping an open reservation for him to continue to reach out to you.

Hope4happiness

Thanks everyone!! I didn't call back. Luckily I had therapy about an hour after I saw that I missed his call so my therapist and I talked about possible motivations for him calling and, if he calls again, my plan for each reason. He hasn't called back at all. Honestly, it is just another example of his cowardice. He ran out like a coward. Now, he called me but didn't leave a message like a coward. I DO NOT want nor deserve that in my life. Each day is better. I thank you all for your love and support! How blessed are we to be able to have this avenue for support, advice and a sense of community! XOXO

HopefulinFLA

You should be proud of yourself! The more you resist any attempts to contact you, the easier resistance will be.

Rosiepetal

Just keep doing what you're doing & keep up the no contact.
It will get easier, for now take one day at a time.

RollTide

Take a hammer and beat your toe until it bleeds. Then you can say, "This is much better than being with an alcoholic."

fluffyflea

Don,t call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!