kptsj

I left my marriage of 29 years. Had several years of extreme emotional abuse and torture. He finally quit drinking a few months ago after we completely ran out of money. But, his short term memory is shot. He was friendly again. But, I just felt completely dead to him. I left when the house was finally foreclosed on. I had to leave the state and stay with my son. My husband is now in a group home type thing for alcoholics. His health has deteriorated. I begged him for two years to go to the doctor because my family and I were convinced he was dying. If he had continued drinking even a few more weeks I am sure he would be dead. He lost 60 pounds because all he did was drink 100 proof alcohol. Ate a meal a week. Now, all the damage is really becoming apparent because he isn't passed out in the bedroom 20 hours a day.. He was horrible and I should have left a few years ago. But, now that I am gone and his life is falling apart I feel so guilty. To me that is the hardest part of leaving. I know I did the right thing. I spent several years beating my head against a brick wall trying to fix him and/or get him help. But, now that he is pretty much helpless I feel bad for not being there. If I stayed I would have no relationship with my children and I have no idea where we would have gone. He did bring this on himself. But, I wish he could get better and take care of himself. I am happy and even though he was awful I wish he could find happiness again.

Sueski

I'm so sorry, kptsj. What a lousy thing.

BoxinRotz

The sad truth of this is...

Make peace with yourself. You did the best you could. You did not get the outcome you wanted with him finding his own recovery but you have been blessed with a second chance to find yourself. You have your mind, your children and now a life. I hope and pray you can find peace. You did not cause his demise.

MsPINKAcres

((kptsj))

It is painful to watch someone that we once cared deeply for suffer greatly for their choices ~

You have made the healthiest choice for you and there is nothing wrong with that ~ please let go of the guilt ~

And you actually made a very healthy choice for your AH too ~ you stepped out of the way ~ this allows him the ability to find his own courage, dignity and strength to find another way to live ~ yes he may still suffer from the years of wrong choices but he could also make his own peace too

Take good care of you and enjoy your happiness ~

pink hugs

kptsj

This forum helped save my sanity when I was going through the abuse