Very new to all of this. It hurts.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 565
Originally Posted by Nope 
I know his problems aren't my problems. But he doesn't always know what to do for himself. The willingness to participate is generally there, but he just doesn't always think things through.
You are getting a lot of "tough love" here on SR! I would like to add my voice of welcome. And also toughness.
From your long, heartfelt post, the quote above really stuck out for me.
Your statement is what others are referring to as "enabling" behavior. You are not HIS mom, even though you have stepped in as a step mom to his children.
Presumably, he is an adult man, and if so, he SHOULD know "what to do for himself". And if he doesn't, he will become your third stepchild, when what you deserve is a husband and partner.
Many of us have walked in your shoes, and we truly care, however tough we sound!
Best to you -
SQ
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