What is happening to me?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 23
What is happening to me?
So after all the chaos last week with my AH. I moved out and have filed for divorce. Besides the initial tears from how frightened I was by his behavior and how he treated me that fateful night, I feel okay. I am scared about my financial situation but seem to be relatively okay otherwise. Is there something wrong with me? I thought I would feel more sadness or loss. Is it just that I had already emotionally detached from him for so long that I actually feel some sort of relief? I get teary eyed when someone says they are sorry for what is going on but other than that I am living my life and enjoying it as much as I can. I am fearful to see him at our 1st hearing in a few weeks since I have not heard or seen him since the incident 11 days ago. Anyone else have this sense of relief after leaving AH?
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 14
You've already emotionally detached....
I understand how you're feeling because I'm going through the exact same thing. When I told my ABF I wasnt sure if I loved him the other night he started crying, dropped to his knees and begged me not to give up on him. Anyone crying always hits close to home in my heart but I really wasnt that affected. I care about him deeply but emotionally....we are no longer connected....
BUT you are not crazy. Just so you know that
Keep your head up!
I understand how you're feeling because I'm going through the exact same thing. When I told my ABF I wasnt sure if I loved him the other night he started crying, dropped to his knees and begged me not to give up on him. Anyone crying always hits close to home in my heart but I really wasnt that affected. I care about him deeply but emotionally....we are no longer connected....
BUT you are not crazy. Just so you know that
Keep your head up!
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest
Posts: 1,207
That happened to me, Roxy. When my AXH left us, I was anxious about being divorced and having 3 kids and I was worried about finances, but something had shifted in me to the end that NOT having him around was ENDLESSLY more attractive than having him there.
When the peace is so clearly contrasted with the chaos, there was just no going back for me. That's what detachment did for me - it enabled me to see with my eyes and my brain instead of just my emotions.
When the peace is so clearly contrasted with the chaos, there was just no going back for me. That's what detachment did for me - it enabled me to see with my eyes and my brain instead of just my emotions.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Emotions aren't rational...they don't always make sense. And you may have a grief reaction later on, when you least expect it. Or you may not. Either way - it isn't a bad thing to feel relief instead of grief!
Stella says it well here - I felt the same way.
When the peace is so clearly contrasted with the chaos, there was just no going back for me. That's what detachment did for me - it enabled me to see with my eyes and my brain instead of just my emotions.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 565
Yes Roxy:
I experienced primarily relief, and continue to do so since my breakup with ABF. In my case, I had grieved and mourned the relationship while still attached to him emotionally to the point of near paralysis.
Cutting the cord made me feel like I could breathe again.
But don't worry if you feel waves of sadness, doubt, anger - this is all normal, too.
Wishing you the best,
Spider
I experienced primarily relief, and continue to do so since my breakup with ABF. In my case, I had grieved and mourned the relationship while still attached to him emotionally to the point of near paralysis.
Cutting the cord made me feel like I could breathe again.
But don't worry if you feel waves of sadness, doubt, anger - this is all normal, too.
Wishing you the best,
Spider
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