dixiecup

My husband is going to be released next week from rehab and his counselor thinks it would be a good idea to go into a sober living facility. I was just wondering if anyone has experienced it before and what was it like. He doesn't really want to go but I think it would be a good idea.

fourmaggie

its a wonderful idea....I have never been, but know alot of people that have and are still sober today...

they teach them a good way of living...sober and with sober buddies...its round and round "care" if he is in a bind/struggling

does he know why he doesnt want to go? he is afraid? he should be using his words and start explaining to you and himself the whys.

dixiecup

He was talking to some people in rehab about it and said the other people didn't like it so he assumes he won't like it. And also he said what difference would it make if he were to go versus just staying at home. We do still plan on going to visit the facilities though. He thinks I want him to go just to get rid of him which is not the case at all.

Seren

My stepson went into a sober living facility for men when he came out of a 30-day stint in rehab. In general, I think it's a good idea. Especially for folks who need to learn a routine and just the simple, daily discipline of living like an adult.

Just like rehab, though, it is not the cure-all for everything. You have to keep working and learning and growing.

dixiecup

Thanks for the replies. He decided not to go into a living house and he was almost 30 days sober until he decided to buy vodka and has been drinking all weekend. It sucks but this time around he's made it longer. The last time he got out of detox he was sober for a week. So maybe progress...

Seren

I know you must be disappointed, but he will only stop when he decides to make that change and do whatever it takes.

How are things going for you, dixie? Have you been able to detach from his drinking and behaviors? How are you holding up?

dixiecup

It's going. I've been reading about addiction and alcoholism a lot lately. I think he started drinking again because last Thursday was his mom year anniversary of her passing but I could be wrong. I try not to react when he is drinking or I just ignore him for the day.

Mountainmanbob

dixiecup

Oh yeah we looked at a few but they were all soo expensive. There was no way I could pay their rent plus my apartment rent. I had no idea it would be that much. There was one we saw that look run down and the people there said they were considered one of the best and I was like okay lol.

dandylion

Personally, from my own experience with the newly recovering---I think that anything that puts a buffer or distance between the recovering alcoholic and their loved ones is a wonderful blessing. Early recovery is a LOT of stress on the spouse/family (as well as the alcoholic).

Early recovery requires that WE behave in new ways that we are probably unaccustomed to---and, very different that what we expected.

So many have lived on the belief: "If only he or she would just stop drinking--then everything else will fall into place (and a chorus of angels will sing). It is a shock to find out that it is not so simple. The very best safeguard is for the loved one to put their energy elsewhere---on themselves- -because they are going to need the support--need it in generous amounts!!

No doubt, some (many) will disagree with my attitude---"I wouldn't give the first year of recovery to a monkey on a rock" (quote from David Letterman). So, I give the disclaimer that this is based on my own personal experience as a loved one and on others that I have observed.

There may be others who have had different experience--but this is my 2 cents.

dandylion