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A test: crossing that LINE

Old 09-04-2013, 10:51 AM
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A test: crossing that LINE

so? kids went back to school....yep waited at the bus stop...

at the bus stop my late husbands sister and her daughter wait also with my kids...for last year, my sister in law does not say HELLO or anything to my children, yet that is their AUNT....her daughter, when at the bus stop, is not allowed to talk to her COUSINS...but their cousin has come right out and say to my children that they ARE NOT RELATED...(she is in grade 4 at the time, my children grade 5 and 6)

my daughter "fainted/blacked out" for some strange reason at the BUS STOP yesterday...funny, i was to work, but took the morning off, and my dear neighbour/boss(yep my boss) was there when Lily hit that pavement...

now this is what i dont get....my sister in law...she just walked home, as the bus and ambulance showed up at the same time...no words where spoken. As i attended my daughter, my boss watched my sister in law "turn her back on the happenings of goings on" and watched the kids a board the bus....and she left....THATS IT!

now, i am use to this behaviour...
I feel yesterday was a test for my sister in law from above, from her brother...she had a choice...come and show some compassion for A CHILD or leave....

i believe she has really crossed that "fine line"
I am shocked...but my mother is on the WAR PATH...

I have no relationship with this family since my husband death, do to me setting boundaries of their alcoholism..

what say you...? any words of wisdom...
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Old 09-04-2013, 12:09 PM
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Thank God for the kindness of others.

Your sister in law is a lost soul.

Good to know you can't count on her.

One of those stories you read and it leaves you stunned.

I hope your girl is on the mend. How scary.
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Old 09-04-2013, 12:39 PM
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Wow. Just WOW.

I can't imagine turning my back on ANY child, never mind one I am related to.

I pray that it was a one-off, just a freaky thing & that she is A-Ok following the incident.

Amazing that she can't see past her own selfishness and insecurities to help her niece, regardless of how she feels about you. You said you had to set boundaries in regards to the family's drinking..... is she an A?
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Old 09-04-2013, 01:58 PM
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Some people just suck. And this woman is one of them.

So sorry for you and your kids. : (
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Old 09-04-2013, 02:00 PM
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Maggie - I'm sorry this happened, but I do agree with you. That would be a line that, once crossed, it's unlikely to ever be crossed again. At some point, we just realize "enough is enough" with various people in our lives.

I do pray your daughter is doing better.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 09-04-2013, 02:56 PM
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Maggie...so sorry your daughter and kids are treated this way. Sounds like the sister in law is still a child herself!
Hope your daughter is okay! Yes, THAT would have been the last straw for me.......
How could anyone turn their back on a child.... and injured child! unbelievable...
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Old 09-04-2013, 03:37 PM
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That's shocking! Makes me feel rather sick someone could be so cruel.
Big love to you and your kids.
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Old 09-04-2013, 05:29 PM
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I hope all is well with your daughter.

The SIL? I've just got no words.
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Old 09-04-2013, 05:41 PM
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Some people are just a$$holes.
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Old 09-04-2013, 05:44 PM
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Hope your daughter is all better. And the SIL just shake your head and let it be their loss, your kids don't need people like that in their lives anyway. So sorry.
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Old 09-04-2013, 05:54 PM
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She sounds sick and and mean and terrible and I am disgusted by her actions. My mother bear instinct got good and mad reading this FOR you so I can't imagine how upsetting that must have been for you. So sorry. Is your daughter okay now? Is it possible for your kids to wait a different bus stop so that they and you don't have to deal with your sister in law. She sounds toxic.
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Old 09-05-2013, 01:24 PM
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thank you....well, there is no other bus stop....thats ok...i just STAND CLOSER TO HER NOW...now she cant move...she is so full of RESENTMENTS*something her mother does very well* (about what? dunno, but is this about her brother, or what her mother has taught her in growing up)

this does leave alot of unsettleness...i mean...this is a child...what if the roles where reverse and it was her daughter, i would be running up to her so fast....

i will tell you this...the month before my husband died...we went to his parents place(sister in law lives upstairs with husband)...we where there to annouce i was pregnant again...(with Lily)...i ran upstairs to go and chat with my brother in law(grew up with him)....he went to put coffee on and went downstairs (with glass in hand) for a "beer" (the keg was in the middle of the kitchen) he came back upstairs and said "Mag, you better go downstairs..." oook, so i did...what i saw was shockin: my father in law had the baby (Jonathan) on his lap and my mother in law holding him and father in law was feeding him a BEER on his lips....my husband-their son, was just sitting there(and use to this behaviour, I am not)...i said "well, well well, what the heck is going on here HUBBY?"..."are you not that childs father?" he looks stunned...i yelled "give me the keys! I have had enough of this insane family"....my brother in law knew...so he took Jon and put him in the car seat, as my mother in law is yelling at me, "you are making a mountain out of a mole hill!" i looked at her and said "this is MY SON, you have done enough damage!" and proceded out the door to the car....my Husband got up and looked at his mom...she says "and where the he$$ do you think you are going?" and he looked and he said, "you know what? my wife is right, this is insane" and got dressed and followed me outside...

we never said a word in the car....and left it at that for awhile....
THAT was the last time his parents saw their son alive...Bill died the next month...

and i am at fault for it all....LMAO...(and trust me, no harm done...lol)
she tried to control the funeral...(that did not work)
she tried to see the $ in the kids trust fund(my dad stopped that...none of her business)

after the wake...that was it...no in laws around to see either child...and my boundary was said to them at the funeral home...(after finding the director feeding my father in law a bottle behind the couch) "Unless you are sober, you can not see the child(ren)."

i grieved it all....but have compassion for their sorry a$$, but now i know...it was HER test from her own brother in the heavens....THIS will never change...
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Old 09-05-2013, 01:30 PM
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daughter is doing better, we still dont know what happened...but will be following up with her own doctor...

thank you all for the replies....
sometimes i do think I AM GOING CRAZY
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Old 09-05-2013, 01:32 PM
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Fourmaggir, awful, do your best not to get in a funk about it and drag yourself down to that sick level. Rootin for ya.

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Old 09-05-2013, 01:33 PM
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^^ooh thats so pretty...thank you...

ooh i look at those to beautys and see them laugh...thats the best part...*smiles*
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Old 09-05-2013, 01:40 PM
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I'll be praying all is well with your daughter and as far as SIL the only thing that come to mind is pity for her that her heart is so cold that not even a child can move it.
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Old 09-05-2013, 01:42 PM
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YEP, thats how COLD they are all are...including my mother in law being the RING LEADER...
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Old 09-05-2013, 05:00 PM
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When dealing with a difficult/terrible person I often think: I have to deal with you now (e.g. at the bus stop) but you have to deal with yourself 24/7, and that would be much worse. And then I really do feel better. What your SIL did crossed a line. I totally agree with that. But she has to live with being that person and that is a terrible way to go through life. Stay strong!
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Old 09-06-2013, 07:19 AM
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Wow, Maggie, that is unbelievable, that someone would act that way. Incomprehensible.

You sure did the right thing setting those boundaries. Kudos for keeping to them, and realizing this is NOT YOU, it is THEM.

They are crazy-making, but you are not crazy.

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