Sadconfused

He is following me around town in cars he is test driving at work without me knowing. I had to go out to a couple of stores, I called him when I left to tell him I was leaving. 30 mins or so pass, I was just getting me and my daughter back in the car and he calls. I tell him I am about to leave here and going there next, hang up and go on my way. Get to the next store and he calls again, ask where I was, tell him and get criticized that it takes me a long time to get from point a to point b and hang up again. So as I pull in the driveway and get out a random car pulls in my drive that I dont recognize only to realize its him. I flipped out a little cause the first words out of his mouth is you didnt even know I was following you. Then of course I am out of line for being mad and upset that he thinks he has the right to follow me around all secretively and he was just trying to surprise me by showing up at the first store, you know like he surprised me while grocery shopping friday when our daughter randomly says there is dada when he was accidentally spotted by her following us. I am boiling. This is why I am scared to leave him, if he acts like this now while we are supposedly still "together" then what will happen when I actually get away. I know he cant trust me but that is no excuse to stalk someone, no excuse to blame me for his abuse and still continue to threaten abuse when he is mad and it sure isnt the cause of his drinking which he is still doing. He stopped for a whole effening week, dont you know that means I am suppose to just forgive and forget, hug up to him on the couch and pretend we are the perfect little couple and just ignore all the dysfunction until the next round. Im sorry I am venting, I dont know what else to do, I am fuming mad. Venting isnt going to help anything, I am just so.......GRRRRRRRRR Seriously, Thats what I feel like doing, feels like it is what I am doing............

Katiekate

Honey , this is scary business.

Are you in contact with any services that will help you remove you and your child from this situation.

You are right, if you leave, it will just get worse.

There is something so not right with him.

Wavy

My XABF used to follow me too. It is a horrible, frustrating, demeaning thing to go through and, like you, it made me even more scared to leave, scared to anything really. Regardless of whether he is your partner what he is doing is harassment and stalking and, here at least, that is illegal. You are also right in calling it out as abuse, it is. Have you considered talking to a domestic violence service? They will be able to help you with your options when leaving and help you figure out the steps you need to remain safe. It sounds like a restraining order would need to be one of those steps. He doesn't have to have been violent to get help from them, they will help with any kind of abuse. It might be a good idea to keep a diary of the things he is doing (if it is safe for you to do so) so that if/when you leave you will already have built up some evidence of the kind of things he subjects you to.

I am sorry you are in this position and empathise with the frustration, anger and fear you feel. it is a horrible place to be. If it gives you any hope, I'm now free of that awful situation, unharmed, healthy and dare I say it happy. That means one day you can be too, it doesn't have to stay they way it is now. (((hugs)))

ACOAHappyNow

You are in a horribly abusive situation. I know it is hard, but you need to get far away from him, where he cannot find you. You and your child are in great danger. I used to volunteer at a battered women's shelter and I know what I am talking about. You must find a way to leave now!