King Toddler Strikes Again
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Originally Posted by healthyagain 
I have to report that I was actually very surprised by the outcome last evening. After whole day spent in the bedroom, hubby came out. And I could tell the bitchiness was gone. I did not mention anything; he did not mention anything. I had taken a shower before he woke up and was ready for another walk. So, he was siting in the bedroom, kinda down, reading his book. I came in and told him that I was going out for a little walk. When I came back (an hour later), he cleaned the bedroom (which he messed up) and he even vacuum-cleaned. We even spent the evening together talking and watching TV. And his Facebook profile is back!
I am happy that we spent a quiet night together.
So, my detachment worked. Thank you for your support!
I am happy that we spent a quiet night together.
So, my detachment worked. Thank you for your support!
Detachment and boundaries are for ourselves...our peace and sanity....not behavior modification for our loved ones...
Best to notice the changes in ourselves...that's the real prize
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
Very true, wiscsober.
As for the positive effects on me
- I did not do or say anything to him that I may regret later or that may be used against me later
- I was (and still am) in a pretty good
- I was able to sleep, no tossing and turning, no arguing with him in my thoughts
- My brain is still with me today, so I can even actually do some work
- In general, I do not think that this was a bad weekend for me
As for the positive effects on me
- I did not do or say anything to him that I may regret later or that may be used against me later
- I was (and still am) in a pretty good
- I was able to sleep, no tossing and turning, no arguing with him in my thoughts
- My brain is still with me today, so I can even actually do some work
- In general, I do not think that this was a bad weekend for me
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 407
I am so glad that your weekend is settled. I understand that things have to be somewhat calm in order for you to function at your best. I also find myself unable to sleep or focus when the drama is at full volume. Yet it always seems that our A's thrive in that environment.
And, I am also relieved that my weekend is better (compared to the last two), however, isn't it a bit sad that our expectations are so low? I mean, wouldn't it be reasonable for all of us to look forward to a few drama free days?
Just wishing...
And, I am also relieved that my weekend is better (compared to the last two), however, isn't it a bit sad that our expectations are so low? I mean, wouldn't it be reasonable for all of us to look forward to a few drama free days?
Just wishing...
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Somewhere, Fractured State
Posts: 111
Aren't they such children!? Great move. Did the same today. My aw woke me at 3 am to tell me she wants a pain pill, her vodka and her car keys. I said nope, not up for discussion. She went back to sleep but when she started the same rhetoric at 7 am, I put on my gym shoes and went for almost 2 hours and ran errands. I come home and she's on me again so I showered and left. I have never enjoyed the gym and my office so much. She said 'aren't you supposed to not react? ' I somewhat lost it and said 'you willdo whatever you will do no matter what I say and I would like you out'. With that I left. The longer this goes, the less interested I become in dealing with her shenanigans and how I despise her outlook and the more interested I become in doing what makes me happy.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
Yurt, I've discovered that having expectations (even not so great) and having other people involved is exactly what gets me down. But, it was pretty amazing that we watched TV together and that he was just incredibly calm after this tantrum. All I can say is that I was civil.
But yes, this is probably how I would treat a bratty two-year-old kid who wants his sweets before his supper: "have your little drama, son...go ahead, roll on the floor now...throw food around...oh you tired now, ok, and now you are hungry too!"
Ignoring his hysterical reaction is probably the best thing I've done in years.
But yes, this is probably how I would treat a bratty two-year-old kid who wants his sweets before his supper: "have your little drama, son...go ahead, roll on the floor now...throw food around...oh you tired now, ok, and now you are hungry too!"
Ignoring his hysterical reaction is probably the best thing I've done in years.
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