Help Available for those Who Need to Leave
 

For those of you who don't know my story I'll give it to you in a nutshell. I have been married to an A for 7 years. I am 57 and on social security disability for fibromyalgia. The first few years of my marriage were fine as my husband was in recovery. The last two have been hell. The disease of alcoholism is a progressive disease. Unless they work their recovery, it will always get worse. My husband was arrested about a month ago for assaulting me and no one was more surprised by his actions than me.

I had been thinking of leaving for some time but was scared and did not know how I would make it financially and I kept hoping that things would get better but they didn't. After the assault, I felt I had no choice but to leave because once they cross that line it is too easy to cross it again and I wasn't willing to take that chance.

Here is where I am lucky. My kids came from Minnesota and picked me and my belongings up from I lived in Michigan. I am now staying with my older daughter and her family until I can get my own place.

Much to my surprise, there is help available for me and others like me. I am on a waiting list for government housing and should be in my own place by the end of the summer. The town I live in now has two buildings owned by the government for low income and guess what - they are actually quite nice and safe! There is money available for "displaced persons", there is medical, dental, prescription available. I have to wait until I have lived in this state for six months before the medical becomes available to me but if I had stayed in the same state it would have been available right away.

I have been treated with dignity and respect by everyone I have dealt with in the system. They actually look for ways to assist you. The less you have the more they are able to help.

So, if the only reason you are still staying is financial, there really is help available. Look into it because once you know that help really is there, it takes some of the fear out of the decision. I never thought that I would ever be in this position - especially at my age! - but I am and it is not nearly as awful as I feared it might be. I am safe, my stress level is sooooo much better. My new life won't be the one I had dreamed of but it won't be the nightmare it had become.

I hope that this is helpful to someone. Make some phone calls. See what would be available to you if you need it. Those calls could make the difference in the rest of your life.

Hugs, Jo

Thanks for the positive spin Jo, it's nice to know that it is doable if it comes down to it.
Paula

Jojo,
Thanks for the heads up. It's good for people to know that there are resources available to help them if they get stuck.
I'm so glad that you found this and that you are on a waiting list to get your own place.
Gabe

What a great post -- it's really helpful of you to share your perspective, your experience and your success in getting through this very hard and scary transition. I recently had a fried staying with me who had left her partner due to domestic violence and emotional abuse issues. She had much the same experience as you; it was really amazing (miraculous) how the more she shared her truth and asked for help, the more help she found and was offered. Good luck and god bless -- freya

I'm just sending hugs and prayers, Jojo, and am glad that you are safe and will have help. I am a big believer that our needs will be met, and you are proof that there is help if we ask.

Huge Hugs
Ann

(((((JoJo))))

So glad to hear from you. I've been sending you love and prayers.

Thank you for coming back here to SR to share your experience strength and hope.

Of course , this is not what you planned for this time of your life, but thankfully you had an open mind and the wiliness to get out of an abusive marriage. I am sure you will find that life will go on and you will continue to grow with it.

Keep on posting. Love hearing from you.