Anyone Watched A Loved One Die of Alcoholism?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 35
Anyone Watched A Loved One Die of Alcoholism?
My sister just died of Severe Acute Alcoholic Hepatitis. I'm haunted by what I saw. She was jaundiced, bloated with ascites, and bleeding. She was intubated with two tubes pumping blood from her lungs and stomach. There was blood filled in her colonoscopy bag. Blood and foam were seeping from her mouth and she had seven IVs pumping medicine into her.
She went into the hospital when she was having trouble breathing. She was drunk. They found fluid in her lung so admitted her. I guess she went through withdraw and her liver began to fail. She was alert and talkative the first week there then started turning yellow and acting like she was drunk or really drugged up, she could hardly move or speak, it was the amonia levels going to her brain from liver failure. They gave her lactolose, but she didn't come out of it. Her kidneys started to fail so she was transfered to a liver transplant center. They were going to do pre-op work on her and put her high on the list because she was so young, but her blood wouldn't clot because her liver was in total failure.
She died one month after being initially admitted. She deteriorated so fast.
We are all so heartbroken and I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this.
She went into the hospital when she was having trouble breathing. She was drunk. They found fluid in her lung so admitted her. I guess she went through withdraw and her liver began to fail. She was alert and talkative the first week there then started turning yellow and acting like she was drunk or really drugged up, she could hardly move or speak, it was the amonia levels going to her brain from liver failure. They gave her lactolose, but she didn't come out of it. Her kidneys started to fail so she was transfered to a liver transplant center. They were going to do pre-op work on her and put her high on the list because she was so young, but her blood wouldn't clot because her liver was in total failure.
She died one month after being initially admitted. She deteriorated so fast.
We are all so heartbroken and I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister.
My second husband eventually recovered from his episode, but it was almost exactly what you describe. He went into the hospital for pneumonia, went into withdrawal, and began hallucinating and becoming violent to the point he was in restraints. Then he went comatose as his liver and kidneys failed, was yellow to the point he looked like he had been dipped in yellow food coloring, blew up with ascites. Horrible and, yes, terrifying to watch. The doctors said IF he recovered he would certainly need a liver transplant. He barely pulled through, and was still suffering from jaundice, ascites, and encephalopathy (mental confusion due to ammonia in the blood from liver failure). When he recovered enough for a biopsy, it turned out he had EARLY cirrhosis, and would be fine if he never drank again. Sadly, a few months later, he went back to drinking and is still drinking himself to death, so far as I know. That was fifteen years ago and I don't know how he is still alive.
My second husband eventually recovered from his episode, but it was almost exactly what you describe. He went into the hospital for pneumonia, went into withdrawal, and began hallucinating and becoming violent to the point he was in restraints. Then he went comatose as his liver and kidneys failed, was yellow to the point he looked like he had been dipped in yellow food coloring, blew up with ascites. Horrible and, yes, terrifying to watch. The doctors said IF he recovered he would certainly need a liver transplant. He barely pulled through, and was still suffering from jaundice, ascites, and encephalopathy (mental confusion due to ammonia in the blood from liver failure). When he recovered enough for a biopsy, it turned out he had EARLY cirrhosis, and would be fine if he never drank again. Sadly, a few months later, he went back to drinking and is still drinking himself to death, so far as I know. That was fifteen years ago and I don't know how he is still alive.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
I am very sorry for your loss. My best friend died at age 40 last fall from the very same thing. In the same way. From the time she was admitted to her death, it was about 4 weeks. She turned 40 in the hospital.
It is a horrid way to die. Thankfully, hospice stepped in and my friend was able to spend the last week on serious pain meds. She seemed comfortable and pain-free.
Prayers to you and your family today. You have my deepest sympathy.
~T
It is a horrid way to die. Thankfully, hospice stepped in and my friend was able to spend the last week on serious pain meds. She seemed comfortable and pain-free.
Prayers to you and your family today. You have my deepest sympathy.
~T
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Reno, Nevada
Posts: 25
I work in a hospital and see this all the time. I am very sorry for your suffering, no one should have to witness this, and yes this is a very typical course of events, it sounds like they tried everything possible, but at this stage it's pretty irreversible. Many never die like this, they die from accidents or falls, brain bleeds, they aspirate vomit, etc, before the alcoholism progresses to this stage. My prayers are with you, nothing can prevent this from happening if the alcoholic continues to drink to the point that the liver can no longer perform its many essential functions. God bless and take care
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 565
I am so sorry. Please accept my deepest condolences.
I hope you will consider grief counseling or other support - your family has been through a terrible trauma.
No one should have to die that way, and no one who loves them should have to watch.
My best to you,
SQ
I hope you will consider grief counseling or other support - your family has been through a terrible trauma.
No one should have to die that way, and no one who loves them should have to watch.
My best to you,
SQ
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Originally Posted by Aborigine 
My sister just died of Severe Acute Alcoholic Hepatitis. I'm haunted by what I saw. She was jaundiced, bloated with ascites, and bleeding. She was intubated with two tubes pumping blood from her lungs and stomach. There was blood filled in her colonoscopy bag. Blood and foam were seeping from her mouth and she had seven IVs pumping medicine into her.
She went into the hospital when she was having trouble breathing. She was drunk. They found fluid in her lung so admitted her. I guess she went through withdraw and her liver began to fail. She was alert and talkative the first week there then started turning yellow and acting like she was drunk or really drugged up, she could hardly move or speak, it was the amonia levels going to her brain from liver failure. They gave her lactolose, but she didn't come out of it. Her kidneys started to fail so she was transfered to a liver transplant center. They were going to do pre-op work on her and put her high on the list because she was so young, but her blood wouldn't clot because her liver was in total failure.
She died one month after being initially admitted. She deteriorated so fast.
We are all so heartbroken and I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this.
She went into the hospital when she was having trouble breathing. She was drunk. They found fluid in her lung so admitted her. I guess she went through withdraw and her liver began to fail. She was alert and talkative the first week there then started turning yellow and acting like she was drunk or really drugged up, she could hardly move or speak, it was the amonia levels going to her brain from liver failure. They gave her lactolose, but she didn't come out of it. Her kidneys started to fail so she was transfered to a liver transplant center. They were going to do pre-op work on her and put her high on the list because she was so young, but her blood wouldn't clot because her liver was in total failure.
She died one month after being initially admitted. She deteriorated so fast.
We are all so heartbroken and I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this.
I am very sorry. I read this and cried. No one should go like that.
Its very sad and that you witnessed it.
I have not seen this but I cannot imagine the image would sit well with me.
Its good your talking about and seeking comfort in this. I wish the best.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 117
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I had a dear friend who died recently from liver failure. She lived out of state and I didn't see her when she was ill, but her descriptions of what she was going through broke my heart. Scared the hell out of me too, since I'm sure I was a much heavier drinker than she was.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
I've seen it in my own life, a very close friend who was only 35 had multiple organ failure from alcohol, started with jaundice, kidneys started failing, and it just was like dominoes. Sadly I couldn't even quit then. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hillsborough, NJ
Posts: 267
Originally Posted by Aborigine
My sister just died of Severe Acute Alcoholic Hepatitis. I'm haunted by what I saw. She was jaundiced, bloated with ascites, and bleeding. She was intubated with two tubes pumping blood from her lungs and stomach. There was blood filled in her colonoscopy bag. Blood and foam were seeping from her mouth and she had seven IVs pumping medicine into her.
She went into the hospital when she was having trouble breathing. She was drunk. They found fluid in her lung so admitted her. I guess she went through withdraw and her liver began to fail. She was alert and talkative the first week there then started turning yellow and acting like she was drunk or really drugged up, she could hardly move or speak, it was the amonia levels going to her brain from liver failure. They gave her lactolose, but she didn't come out of it. Her kidneys started to fail so she was transfered to a liver transplant center. They were going to do pre-op work on her and put her high on the list because she was so young, but her blood wouldn't clot because her liver was in total failure.
She died one month after being initially admitted. She deteriorated so fast.
We are all so heartbroken and I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this.
She went into the hospital when she was having trouble breathing. She was drunk. They found fluid in her lung so admitted her. I guess she went through withdraw and her liver began to fail. She was alert and talkative the first week there then started turning yellow and acting like she was drunk or really drugged up, she could hardly move or speak, it was the amonia levels going to her brain from liver failure. They gave her lactolose, but she didn't come out of it. Her kidneys started to fail so she was transfered to a liver transplant center. They were going to do pre-op work on her and put her high on the list because she was so young, but her blood wouldn't clot because her liver was in total failure.
She died one month after being initially admitted. She deteriorated so fast.
We are all so heartbroken and I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this.
Thank you for posting and for sharing so openly with us. Unfortunately, you are not alone in what must be a traumatic experience for you and your family. I was so moved by what you shared that I read your post to my mom and both of us immediately thought of her dear friend who died under very similar circumstances. She passed away in her late 40's. May I ask how old your sister was?
Someone else mentioned that some alcoholics have accidents such as falling down, which results in internal bleeding. About 10 years ago, I lost my friend this way. Apparently, she wasn't feeling very well that weekend and she called me and asked if I could go to the store and bring her some ginger ale. Of course, I agreed to help. As instructed, I left it in a bag outside on her porch. I called her the next day to see how she was feeling and she didn't answer the phone. (At first, I thought nothing of it because she was the type that could go from being very outgoing to very reclusive....)
I continued calling and leaving her messages...Until....
One afternoon, I happened to be home from work and I saw an ambulance outside her townhouse. Eventually, I caught up with my neighbor and I found out that she had died......
She was only 57. I was 29 at the time and she was like a mom to me. At the time, I was crushed....
I didn't actually find out her cause of death until 9 months later.....
I was aware that she had Peripheral Neuropathy, which causes a loss of feeling in the extremities, and apparently, she must have lost her balance and ended up falling and hitting her head on a piece of furniture.....
There was no way I could have handled hearing that at the time, so I can only begin to imagine how devastated you must be given what you witnessed with your beloved sister.
I was told had someone found my friend sooner, she may have lived.....
I hate to be sure about this, but....
I am sure there will be other members of our forum who will share their experiences with you regarding the loss of a loved one due to this awful disease....
My thoughts and prayers are with you....
One final thought:
Given the circumstances regarding your sister and how she passed, perhaps the hospital has or can suggest a Bereavement Program for you and your family to attend?
Please accept my deepest condolences.....
Linda
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
I am so sorry for your loss, Aborigine. That has to be incredibly painful, and I wish there was something I could say to help ease the pain or give you a bit more peace.
My mother is slowly killing herself with alcohol, but I had to stop watching a while ago. I haven't seen or talked to her in over a year. I mourned her long before that, so in my mind, she's already gone.
My mother is slowly killing herself with alcohol, but I had to stop watching a while ago. I haven't seen or talked to her in over a year. I mourned her long before that, so in my mind, she's already gone.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Long Branch, NJ
Posts: 253
Originally Posted by Aborigine
My sister just died of Severe Acute Alcoholic Hepatitis. I'm haunted by what I saw. She was jaundiced, bloated with ascites, and bleeding. She was intubated with two tubes pumping blood from her lungs and stomach. There was blood filled in her colonoscopy bag. Blood and foam were seeping from her mouth and she had seven IVs pumping medicine into her.
She went into the hospital when she was having trouble breathing. She was drunk. They found fluid in her lung so admitted her. I guess she went through withdraw and her liver began to fail. She was alert and talkative the first week there then started turning yellow and acting like she was drunk or really drugged up, she could hardly move or speak, it was the amonia levels going to her brain from liver failure. They gave her lactolose, but she didn't come out of it. Her kidneys started to fail so she was transfered to a liver transplant center. They were going to do pre-op work on her and put her high on the list because she was so young, but her blood wouldn't clot because her liver was in total failure.
She died one month after being initially admitted. She deteriorated so fast.
We are all so heartbroken and I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this.
She went into the hospital when she was having trouble breathing. She was drunk. They found fluid in her lung so admitted her. I guess she went through withdraw and her liver began to fail. She was alert and talkative the first week there then started turning yellow and acting like she was drunk or really drugged up, she could hardly move or speak, it was the amonia levels going to her brain from liver failure. They gave her lactolose, but she didn't come out of it. Her kidneys started to fail so she was transfered to a liver transplant center. They were going to do pre-op work on her and put her high on the list because she was so young, but her blood wouldn't clot because her liver was in total failure.
She died one month after being initially admitted. She deteriorated so fast.
We are all so heartbroken and I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this.
My brother died from cirrhosis brought on by Hepatitis C. It took a long time to kill him, but it is an ugly and painful death.
Weird, I dreamed of him last night. He died seven years ago, and his daughter is pregnant with what would have been his first grandchild. I saw her for the first time yesterday since she's been pregnant.
My bro used heroin intravenously in his 20s for a year and a half, got busted for breaking and entering and went onto methadone maintenance to get a lighter sentence (he got probation only). He never did heroin again, and it was at the time that AIDS was first appearing on the scene. They tested him for AIDS, but never for Hep C so he didn't know he had it.
He got himself together more or less, married a woman he met at the methadone clinic and had a child, and he detoxed from methadone during her pregnancy. His wife never did and went back to heroin and amazingly, is still alive and a junkie at 60.
He continued to work and help raise his daughter, but he drank. He went to the bar every day after work and drank and then drank more at home. About five years before he died, he started to have problems with passing blood and other issues and that's when he found out he had Hep C and advanced liver damage. He had an abcess on his lung plus he nearly bled out in the hospital when a vein in his stomach burst and he projectile-vomited blood. I saw the photo of his esophagus--he had what looked like varicose veins all through them. He slowly deteriorated, and by the end he was so bloated and filled with fluid he was in intense pain. He was begging for relief from the pain when he died. He was 51.
I still miss him. He was the next oldest from me, and we had a lot of fun together as kids. That's what I remember.
Another sister has cirrhosis now. We get to watch this again.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hillsborough, NJ
Posts: 267
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
I am so, so, sorry. It is hard to lose a sibling.
My brother died from cirrhosis brought on by Hepatitis C. It took a long time to kill him, but it is an ugly and painful death.
Weird, I dreamed of him last night. He died seven years ago, and his daughter is pregnant with what would have been his first grandchild. I saw her for the first time yesterday since she's been pregnant.
My bro used heroin intravenously in his 20s for a year and a half, got busted for breaking and entering and went onto methadone maintenance to get a lighter sentence (he got probation only). He never did heroin again, and it was at the time that AIDS was first appearing on the scene. They tested him for AIDS, but never for Hep C so he didn't know he had it.
He got himself together more or less, married a woman he met at the methadone clinic and had a child, and he detoxed from methadone during her pregnancy. His wife never did and went back to heroin and amazingly, is still alive and a junkie at 60.
He continued to work and help raise his daughter, but he drank. He went to the bar every day after work and drank and then drank more at home. About five years before he died, he started to have problems with passing blood and other issues and that's when he found out he had Hep C and advanced liver damage. He had an abcess on his lung plus he nearly bled out in the hospital when a vein in his stomach burst and he projectile-vomited blood. I saw the photo of his esophagus--he had what looked like varicose veins all through them. He slowly deteriorated, and by the end he was so bloated and filled with fluid he was in intense pain. He was begging for relief from the pain when he died. He was 51.
I still miss him. He was the next oldest from me, and we had a lot of fun together as kids. That's what I remember.
Another sister has cirrhosis now. We get to watch this again.
My brother died from cirrhosis brought on by Hepatitis C. It took a long time to kill him, but it is an ugly and painful death.
Weird, I dreamed of him last night. He died seven years ago, and his daughter is pregnant with what would have been his first grandchild. I saw her for the first time yesterday since she's been pregnant.
My bro used heroin intravenously in his 20s for a year and a half, got busted for breaking and entering and went onto methadone maintenance to get a lighter sentence (he got probation only). He never did heroin again, and it was at the time that AIDS was first appearing on the scene. They tested him for AIDS, but never for Hep C so he didn't know he had it.
He got himself together more or less, married a woman he met at the methadone clinic and had a child, and he detoxed from methadone during her pregnancy. His wife never did and went back to heroin and amazingly, is still alive and a junkie at 60.
He continued to work and help raise his daughter, but he drank. He went to the bar every day after work and drank and then drank more at home. About five years before he died, he started to have problems with passing blood and other issues and that's when he found out he had Hep C and advanced liver damage. He had an abcess on his lung plus he nearly bled out in the hospital when a vein in his stomach burst and he projectile-vomited blood. I saw the photo of his esophagus--he had what looked like varicose veins all through them. He slowly deteriorated, and by the end he was so bloated and filled with fluid he was in intense pain. He was begging for relief from the pain when he died. He was 51.
I still miss him. He was the next oldest from me, and we had a lot of fun together as kids. That's what I remember.
Another sister has cirrhosis now. We get to watch this again.
I feel so bad that you have to go through this all over again with your sister....
The fact that your sister has issues at all with alcohol just goes on to proving how "cunning and baffling" this disease really is....
At least you didn't allow the "beast" to suck the life out of you too....
In fact, 2 years ago on Labor Day Weekend, I ended a relationship with a guy I met back in Middle School....Yes, I am in a much better place now, but believe me, when I read posts like yours and of the Original Poster, it scares me to think, that this could be him someday if he doesn't stop....
Anyway you slice it, it's just so, so sad......
Thank you for sharing....
Linda
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Very sorry for your loss.
I did watch my mom deteriorate from ARDS, acute respiratory distress syndrome. She took a prescription drug overdose, it was seroquel. She was taken to the hospital where they pumped her stomach. She survived that part of it. But when she vomited, she got some of it in her lungs. This is ultimately what killed her. Well, she would have lived on the respirator, but they thought two months in this condition was long enough. They had to sedate her to unconsciousness or a coma like state while she was in ICU. So, kind of a vegetative existence really. I'm not sure if she was aware of much. That part haunts me, wondering if she knew what was going on when they took her off life support.
Anyway, she was an alcoholic and battled it her whole life. I just always thought I'd get a phone call that she died in an accident. I never dreamed I'd have to watch her on a hospital bed in that kind of state, and then be the one to have to make the decision to take her off life support. It's quite a burden to bear.
I am sorry you had to see your sister this way. I can empathize with you.
I did watch my mom deteriorate from ARDS, acute respiratory distress syndrome. She took a prescription drug overdose, it was seroquel. She was taken to the hospital where they pumped her stomach. She survived that part of it. But when she vomited, she got some of it in her lungs. This is ultimately what killed her. Well, she would have lived on the respirator, but they thought two months in this condition was long enough. They had to sedate her to unconsciousness or a coma like state while she was in ICU. So, kind of a vegetative existence really. I'm not sure if she was aware of much. That part haunts me, wondering if she knew what was going on when they took her off life support.
Anyway, she was an alcoholic and battled it her whole life. I just always thought I'd get a phone call that she died in an accident. I never dreamed I'd have to watch her on a hospital bed in that kind of state, and then be the one to have to make the decision to take her off life support. It's quite a burden to bear.
I am sorry you had to see your sister this way. I can empathize with you.
Lord Have Mercy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 242
I am presently watching XAW die of alcoholic starvation and I can't get her to go to the hospital. I think she is scared that will be the end of it so she won't go. I cry every time I see her. It is a nightmare before my very eyes. I am highly disturbed by the end stage stories because she has been so close many times but she always pulls through. I'm just sick about it. We are divorced now, that provides me with some relief but the waiting is killing me. She is 43. It is the most sad thing I can imagine, that someone can't love their own self as much as God and others do.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 35
My sister turned 41 in the hospital and leaves a beautiful 3 year old girl. She was unmarried, living with my parents. She had no will or assets. The aftermath of her loss is causing me much anxiety as I watch the incredable toll this has taken on my parents. I have an older brother and younger sister.
My dead sister and I had a lot in common when it comes to alcohol abuse and self medication.
Everyones thoghtful replies are very helpful. I feel very alone and trying deperatly not to drink myself numb like she did, instead I'm being prescribed anti depressants and sedatives, but none of those feel as good as being drunk. At least I socialize. Being medicated has me laying in bed and posting on forums.
My dead sister and I had a lot in common when it comes to alcohol abuse and self medication.
Everyones thoghtful replies are very helpful. I feel very alone and trying deperatly not to drink myself numb like she did, instead I'm being prescribed anti depressants and sedatives, but none of those feel as good as being drunk. At least I socialize. Being medicated has me laying in bed and posting on forums.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Originally Posted by Aborigine
I feel very alone and trying deperatly not to drink myself numb like she did, instead I'm being prescribed anti depressants and sedatives, but none of those feel as good as being drunk. At least I socialize. Being medicated has me laying in bed and posting on forums.
That first step is always the hardest, but it does get easier...
Peace,
~T
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 396
Sorry to hear this sad news.
I lost my Dad in April this year. He had a few conditions, But alcohol was the main problem. He died at 58, and drunk most of his life. His heart finally stopped completely. They managed to restart it again after 20 mins, By that point it was too late. He stayed about 130 miles away, so I never got to see him often. I did manage to see him before he was gone, But that horrible memory will stay with me forever. This has played on my mind mentally since then. No excuse for my drinking, but it has got worse since then.
We got to all stick together. I am really going to try this time. I don't want to put my OH and Son through this.
I lost my Dad in April this year. He had a few conditions, But alcohol was the main problem. He died at 58, and drunk most of his life. His heart finally stopped completely. They managed to restart it again after 20 mins, By that point it was too late. He stayed about 130 miles away, so I never got to see him often. I did manage to see him before he was gone, But that horrible memory will stay with me forever. This has played on my mind mentally since then. No excuse for my drinking, but it has got worse since then.
We got to all stick together. I am really going to try this time. I don't want to put my OH and Son through this.
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