MY son called!
 

My son called and said he had to walk off his job because he couldn't handle it. He said it was because he was an addict and coming off the paxil was driving him crazy. He said he will be homeless tomorrow and he will kill himself if he is homeless. He feels he needs to go to the hospital.

I don't know if he was quacking to get me to take him in or telling the truth. I have to leave for work for a couple of hours and I told him to call some of the numbers I gave him and I would call him back in a couple of hours.

Please feel free to offer suggestions and I'll read them when I get back.

I don't think it's a full moon.

The mud is flying today!

Hugs,

MG

Hi MG

My A has told me many times he was going to kill himself, he has never done it. It may be a guilt trip, it may not be. I honestly don't know. If he does need a hospital, there is nothing stopping him from going there. My A has always been able to get to places (he doesn't drive,dui, whole other story) when he wanted to get high and when he was ready to get help seriously, he always managed to cooridinate that and I would give him a ride then, but only when it was all figured out.

I hope things work out, I truly do. I am praying for you all.

Love,
Debbie

Its up to you what you want to do

MG,
If he says he needs to go to the hospital, what is preventing him from going? I can say from the unpleasant time Dino had that he may indeed need hospitalization. Dino was over the edge of sanity. He heard voices. I did not know anything about Paxil withdrawal at the time and thought he was just acting out. He was in a dangerous situation and I was oblivious. He was the boy who cried "wolf". By all means encourage him to go to the hospital!
Smoke

Oh MG,

What can I say?

Do they have radar? And what stage IS the moon in?

You were just thinking aout him and BAM! Myself, today, before my own phone call might take him if that is what he needs. Now I just don't know.

I think when they call like that they are asking to be rescued...even if they don't ask directly. So dig down deep and your answer may be in your heart. Follow your own advice and take care of you. If helping him get help is what your own conscience dictates than do that. You can always chalk it up to a learning experience if it backfires.

I can't get a hold of him now. My inner voice says that he is out of money and out of his alcohol and crack. And my inner voice is telling me he is out trying to get some, stealing or whatever.

He is behind two months in rent so he must have spent all of his money on drugs.

I am so angry, it's true I think God is going to force me to give up my magical worry and guilt. I never let go until it gets too bad to hold on to. I just don't know how to do it any other way.

I guess I have to just sit here and do the best I can do. I really feel like putting my fist through a wall, but I don't want to fix it after I'm done.

I am REALLY angry at this whole thing. I feel like beating the hell out of him.

MG

M.G.
Go with your inner voice, I've found out
that my first instincts have usually
been right on the money. I'm a little
confused about the Paxil, didn't that
treatment center just send him somewhere
to get it free?

Hugs,

I felt like beating someone up yesterday, too! I want to get off this awful roller coaster, but the only way to do that is work my program...not well today, maybe, but work it none the less.

Get the focus off him and on you. Hard? You bet! But what are the options?

Did you recieve your new helmit?

Hi MG - I'm so sorry you're going through this. The only thing I can say is to go with your gut instinct. It's usually right on. If you need to follow your heart then do so. Just don't beat yourself up over it if it turns out to be that he's just trying to get you to feel sorry for him and make it all better. If that's the case then you'll know better next time.

My prayers are with you!!

Love,
Galnva

My son will never call me!
 

I feel so deeply for all the moms waiting for the calls and dreading the calls. Last night I spoke to my alcoholic son for the last time unless and until he helps himself. I can't take the abuse any more. In order to take care of me and appreciate the good parts of life ( I have many, thank God!) I need to cut this boy loose. He is so full of hate and blame and sadly, his alcoholism is exacerbating his mental illness and vice versa. I can't fix any of it. And so there will be no more calls to or from him at least for now. While I am jealous of the calls you each may get I will not miss the pain. When I think of him I will remember the day he was born and how I love him and then I will not think of him anymore. I hope all of you get a good call from your boys real soon. Peace.

Welcome sunwoman6,

So true that we can't fix any of it.

I ended up picking my son up after this incident. I took him to the hospital and then he went to rehab. A few months after that I put him out homeless and he has been on his own since. I don't tolerate the blaming and anger any longer. Our phone coversations have been positive 99% of the time.

Sounds like you are setting a boundary for your own good. It just might help your son at the same time.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Please feel free to hang out here with all these other wonderful people. It helps when others understand.

Hugs,
MG

To all the moms out there...I am right there with you. I wish that there was some way we could be closer to each other. I know that everytime SonnyBoy calls...my heart stops..I cannot breathe...my mental processes slow down. He is my son...my baby...my blue eyed child. He will also lie to you, steal from you, hurt you if you get in his way. I miss him and yet I don't. I do NOT miss the daily drama that comes from being the mother of an addict...the loss of money for his bail...the sleepless nights...the saggy baggy eyes that told their own tale. The looks from my co-workers that know all about the "situation"..pity, empathy, saddness.
I have one friend that will come when called...She will stand in front of me and hold both my hands in hers and just tell me to breathe...In and Out...In and Out. Funny how you have to be coached sometimes.
You are all in my thoughts each and every day.

Mom