hi all
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
hi all
Hi everyone,
Just wanted to pop in and say hi... Things are not fabulous, nor terrible. I'm going day by day enjoying my kids, had a fantastic summer with them, just returned to work last week and am grateful for the recovery tools from here that help me all throughout my life, not just with xAH.
Today was the girls first day of school and as we went outside their 4 month old kitty ran out and straight down the driveway, into the street and was hit and killed. It was pretty awful for the girls and I alike. And I have to admit that were it not for a lot of tools I have learned to keep my cool in highly emotional interactions with xAH I might have had a total meltdown-- lots of momentary thoughts of "how can this happen?", "it's not fair", "why me" crap... But I got my sh*t together, got the kitty from the street, set him aside and we all cried a bit then got into the car for school and work and faced our sadness without letting it consume us and went on with our days. We had a funeral for him tonight when I got the girls and got home and as awful as it was it was really a good opportunity to experience dealing healthily with emotions that hurt. The girls are still torn up as am I but it felt nice to be able to have a crisis come and go without having it consume my whole life... That used to be how it would go-- everything was a crisis and my emotional health was non existant. It was good to recognize that a really crappy situation could occur and I had the ability to cope and deal. That hasn't always been the case. The less interaction I have with xAH, the better able I am to deal with life...
Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hi and share a bit of recovery positivity I guess even if it's in the context of a terrible bit of news...
Hope you're all well...
Just wanted to pop in and say hi... Things are not fabulous, nor terrible. I'm going day by day enjoying my kids, had a fantastic summer with them, just returned to work last week and am grateful for the recovery tools from here that help me all throughout my life, not just with xAH.
Today was the girls first day of school and as we went outside their 4 month old kitty ran out and straight down the driveway, into the street and was hit and killed. It was pretty awful for the girls and I alike. And I have to admit that were it not for a lot of tools I have learned to keep my cool in highly emotional interactions with xAH I might have had a total meltdown-- lots of momentary thoughts of "how can this happen?", "it's not fair", "why me" crap... But I got my sh*t together, got the kitty from the street, set him aside and we all cried a bit then got into the car for school and work and faced our sadness without letting it consume us and went on with our days. We had a funeral for him tonight when I got the girls and got home and as awful as it was it was really a good opportunity to experience dealing healthily with emotions that hurt. The girls are still torn up as am I but it felt nice to be able to have a crisis come and go without having it consume my whole life... That used to be how it would go-- everything was a crisis and my emotional health was non existant. It was good to recognize that a really crappy situation could occur and I had the ability to cope and deal. That hasn't always been the case. The less interaction I have with xAH, the better able I am to deal with life...
Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hi and share a bit of recovery positivity I guess even if it's in the context of a terrible bit of news...
Hope you're all well...
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
OH, wanttobehealthy, how awful for you all. I have had this bitter thing of losing our kittys l ike that over the years and I always "bite the dust" when it happens. Truly the dark side of pet ownership. Please accept my condolences.
I am thrilled to hear from you. I miss you on the board. Thanks so much for letting us know how you are doing. I always means so much to get this kind of post!!!!
Again, sorry for your loss.
dandylion
I am thrilled to hear from you. I miss you on the board. Thanks so much for letting us know how you are doing. I always means so much to get this kind of post!!!!
Again, sorry for your loss.
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 342
Thanks for your story WTBH. I am sorry too about your kitty and loss. Agree with Flo, a bittersweet memory but one that will forever remind of handling emotions in a healthy way. The loss may fade but a healthy response can always be visited again and again.
Thank you again for sharing and reminding me to use my tools as life is messy.
Thank you again for sharing and reminding me to use my tools as life is messy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I am sure it will surprise no one that the girls dad told me I was cruel for telling them the truth and suggested instead that I should have lied and said the cat wanted to go live in the woods.
Sure, make the kids think the kitten didn't want to be with them. Definitely the healthy perspective. Idiot!
Sure, make the kids think the kitten didn't want to be with them. Definitely the healthy perspective. Idiot!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy 
I am sure it will surprise no one that the girls dad told me I was cruel for telling them the truth and suggested instead that I should have lied and said the cat wanted to go live in the woods.
Sure, make the kids think the kitten didn't want to be with them. Definitely the healthy perspective. Idiot!
Sure, make the kids think the kitten didn't want to be with them. Definitely the healthy perspective. Idiot!
I'm sorry you all had to go through such a trauma. I have 5 beautiful solid black kittens that are just 2 weeks old! If there was a way I could just send 2 of them to your girls I would totally do it!!
My emotional baggage
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 285
Good job you, turning an awful experience into a learning experience for your kids. Sorry for your loss and sorry your X turned a hard situation and made it worse with his stupid advice.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 510
I'm so sorry to hear about your kitten. How terribly tragic for you and your kids. It's never easy losing a pet especially when its so unexpected. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I am so happy to hear you have learned new tools to cope. I know for me it works across all aspects of my life and I even find myself teaching my kids the same tools to use when they are upset. You are being a great role model for your kids. Give them an extra hug tonight.
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