Mc
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Mc
We went to our Marriage counseling lastnight..........I brought some information that i had printed off about alcoholism. I had the counselor read it..I told him that I realize that I am a provoactrix........(sp).......he asked my what do i think I gain from chosing someone who is an alcoholic......then he started mainly focusing on me lastnight and started to ask about my childhood......(neither one of my parents were an alcoholic).....I did understand some of what he was saying.......but I couldnt tell him what I was gaining.......how the hell do I know??????????? I guess I can say that I have never been around alcoholics before and my first husband wasnt one.....and I really didnt understand that it was going to be this kind of a ride........I had no idea.........I am still baffled by what he said what the MC said.............My husband when we left said that I am scaring him and that he doesnt know who he married and he wishes that I would stop acting crazy, he asked me to stay off this site and to stop going to infidelity.com (affair support group)....I really thinks I am nuts, cause I am trying to learn and read everything i can about alcohol and infidelity.....I told him that i realized that i have a problem, I told the counselor that I realize that somehow I need to detach and to find something that is going to make me happy.........that i understand there is something wrong with me......and I have to heal myself first.......I suggested that maybe we have IC and MC. he said that might be a good idea...........but my husband thinks I am nuts all the way around now...............I told him I am just trying to do everything i can to help me and you and to save our marriage...........and maybe I need to look at me first..............he just thinks I am over the edge........
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: MS
Posts: 6
My A used to tell me that going to alanon would just make things worse between us and we would end up breaking up. He thought I should read some of the things in the AA book though that might help. He admits to being an alcoholic but since he's been to rehab before, says that it won't help and it will take an act of God for him to quit.
It's confusing to hear him admit he's an alcoholic and say he wants to quit but then do nothing about it. Anyway, I gave up going to alanon when I was with him and never ended up going back. He was convinced that alanon just helped end his first marriage and that it basically gave her "permission" or an excuse to leave him. I wonder if it is just that down deep they know that if we get better it will be harder on them and that scares them.
Just my thoughts,
karen
It's confusing to hear him admit he's an alcoholic and say he wants to quit but then do nothing about it. Anyway, I gave up going to alanon when I was with him and never ended up going back. He was convinced that alanon just helped end his first marriage and that it basically gave her "permission" or an excuse to leave him. I wonder if it is just that down deep they know that if we get better it will be harder on them and that scares them.
Just my thoughts,
karen
Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Utah
Posts: 330
He will never like it when you grow, become smarter to his game, and grow a spine! It just goes against the very grain of what an alcoholic cheater is trying to accomplish! Again typical..... I wouldn't even tell him where you go online. First he will try to read your stuff and second if he is anything like my ex he will start posting in defense of himself against you! You do what you need to do to get better, tell him to shove it if he doesn't want to come along. Again I emphazize, Quack Quack Quack on his part!
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