Jackie1

Well, I went! I didnt say a word, just listened. Im going to go again or try another group because I dont feel like I walked away with what I was searching for. YET. My girls on the other hand enjoyed alateen and cant wait to go back. In the meantime im going to start working on boundries for him, myself, and the girls.

Hammer

IF you just walked away with:

You did not Cause it,
You cannot Control it,
You cannot Cure it.

AND

The suggestion to try 6 meeting before you decide if Alanon is right for you . . .

THEN you got the full load that just about anyone can really handle from a first meeting.

Did they tell you: "Keep Coming Back, It Works IF You Work It?" True dat. Promise.

Kat60

You Go Girl!!
I applaud your courage in going!
I know how hard it is.

honeypig

Jackie, sometimes it can take a while to "get" Alanon. Were you able to pick up any reading materials? There are some very good Alanon books available.

If you go to Amazon and use the search "Alanon books", you'll find a whole slew of them. Most are available used, too, which can save you some money.

My own recommendations would be "How Alanon Works", "Paths to Recovery" and "Courage to Change." The last one is in a "thought for the day" format, where each day has its own topic to work on for the day.

If there is no money in the budget to purchase any of these items, I found a Facebook page that features the daily readings from "Courage to Change." https://www.facebook.com/couragetochangeodat

I also bumbled across this site that offers readings from a number of different Alanon "daily" type books, as well as readings about the steps, etc. You can sign up to follow the daily postings for free; just signed up myself. Welcome to 12 Steps – Think About It! | 12 Steps - Think About It!

Hope that might help you get the bigger picture, but again, be patient. You have spent your whole life living w/alcoholics. It's gonna take some time to get a different, clearer picture of what life could be.

I wonder, have you checked out the "Adult Children of Alcoholics" section of the forum here, since you certainly qualify for that, too? Maybe there's some help to be gained there also. Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Jackie1

Thanks yall! And thank you honeypig, i will look into that for sure.

choublak

If you keep going back to meetings, you will eventually be able to get a "feel" for the healthier group members, who you can look too for some guidance.

firebolt

That's a big step Jackie - CONGRATS! I agree on the reading materials - they are a godsend. I'm also loving 'the language of letting go.' Its a daily meditation book based on the concepts of Alanon.

I'm not much of a believer in fate or heavenly intervention or whatnot... but I have to say the 3x per year I go to church, and 1 out of 5 of the daily reads in that book really really apply to whatever is going on with me at the time....and carry me right through it. Keep going back! It'll click.

Recovering2

That's why they suggest you go to 6 meetings before making a decision about whether it's for you or not. Also, different groups are different, so you may want to try a different group. The 3rd group I went to was the perfect fit for me, so that's where I stayed.

I'm glad to hear your kids liked AlaTeen....they'll be healthier for the experience.

Springs

Congrats! The fourth group I tried was the right fit for me - definitely try six different groups if you can.

NWGRITS

Over in the ACoA forum we have the daily readings posted, as well. I think SoberJenny took it upon herself to do that for us. My personal favorite Al-Anon book is From Survival to Recovery. I hope you stick with six meetings and then determine from there whether or not you like it. I would give my left leg to be able to get to a meeting. Our group dissolved recently, and that was the only one on our island.

SomewhereElse

Congrats for taking that first step!! It's a huge deal! Not all meetings are the same, so you may want to try out a different one that may be a better fit for you. Even if you don't "feel it" at first, it is a wonderful program and will really help you out if you let it. Keep going!