Solicitors letter goes out today scared of the fallout
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
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Solicitors letter goes out today scared of the fallout
Got a lot done again today. In fact I've taken care of pretty much everything. The solicitor drafted a letter today and emailed it to me for my consideration before sending it. I made a few adjustments and thats it, its gone. Thing is I know everything in there is true and I've given him every chance beyond what I should have but I am anxious about how he's going to respond and stupidly enough I'm anxious about what the reaction is going to be from his family.
He sent me a text today asking how me and my son are and saying that he misses us. I sent him a photo of our son and told him that he is fine. That is all, nothing further. He then replied telling me how much he loves me and that he's sorry for saying stupid things. I didn't reply. I had so many things I could have said but I just thought what's the point and I didn't want to start a dialogue with him.
So here goes I guess. I've got a knot in my stomach. It's hard knowing the pain that he must be going through but I keep reminding myself of how bad things have been for years and how his options have always been open as far as making a change was concerned. His family have seen my husband drink for years and have done and said nothing.
I suppose I feel quite lonely, I really am in it on my own. My mother text me earlier to ask how I am today, I told her, I was ok and told her about the contact from AH. She rang about an hour later and told me that she wants to surprise my sisters and nieces with my and my sons arrival at the weekend, then went on to tell me what great holiday she and my dad have had, what a great week they've had....I didn't know what to say, so I just said that I had to go because of something or other........
Good job I'm such a resilient little so and so.....I need to be!!!
He sent me a text today asking how me and my son are and saying that he misses us. I sent him a photo of our son and told him that he is fine. That is all, nothing further. He then replied telling me how much he loves me and that he's sorry for saying stupid things. I didn't reply. I had so many things I could have said but I just thought what's the point and I didn't want to start a dialogue with him.
So here goes I guess. I've got a knot in my stomach. It's hard knowing the pain that he must be going through but I keep reminding myself of how bad things have been for years and how his options have always been open as far as making a change was concerned. His family have seen my husband drink for years and have done and said nothing.
I suppose I feel quite lonely, I really am in it on my own. My mother text me earlier to ask how I am today, I told her, I was ok and told her about the contact from AH. She rang about an hour later and told me that she wants to surprise my sisters and nieces with my and my sons arrival at the weekend, then went on to tell me what great holiday she and my dad have had, what a great week they've had....I didn't know what to say, so I just said that I had to go because of something or other........
Good job I'm such a resilient little so and so.....I need to be!!!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
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Hold steady, JJT, it sounds to me like you have your head on straight and you know what you're doing! Good work refusing to engage w/him when he contacted you.
You are doing what is best for you and your child. That took courage. You ARE a resilient so and so, but only in the very best sense of that!
Hang in, wishing you all the best.
You are doing what is best for you and your child. That took courage. You ARE a resilient so and so, but only in the very best sense of that!
Hang in, wishing you all the best.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 68
So,
The morning the letter should have arrived, he rang. It was really early but I was up filling in forms for housing benefit. We had a long conversation punctuated by me hanging up several times and him ringing back. I told him that he was going to get a solicitors letter and he started with I've got rights to be in my own home. I agreed but told him that if he tried to live in the home or on the drive, I would leave with our son so he could chose either stability for our son or his sense of justice fulfilled. He relented. I told him again what I expect, told him there was no guarantees from me, he needs to do the work and prove to me that hes making progress and I would not consider anything until hes done at least 6 months. sorry got to go got a teething 21 month old to attend to. Basically, things are ok. Thanks for asking xxx
The morning the letter should have arrived, he rang. It was really early but I was up filling in forms for housing benefit. We had a long conversation punctuated by me hanging up several times and him ringing back. I told him that he was going to get a solicitors letter and he started with I've got rights to be in my own home. I agreed but told him that if he tried to live in the home or on the drive, I would leave with our son so he could chose either stability for our son or his sense of justice fulfilled. He relented. I told him again what I expect, told him there was no guarantees from me, he needs to do the work and prove to me that hes making progress and I would not consider anything until hes done at least 6 months. sorry got to go got a teething 21 month old to attend to. Basically, things are ok. Thanks for asking xxx
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 68
Ok Very grumpy boy in bed sleeping...its been a tough day with those mean teeth that are taking forever to come through...and its rained all day so a recipe for grumpiness.
My husbands brother rang me last night, hes a drug and alcohol counsellor and he was really supportive and has had a really no holds barred conversation about my husbands alcohol abuse and his behaviour with him. I really appreciated that after the incident with my husband and his mother...he said he also spoke to his mother about why I reacted the way I did that day....it was so nice just to have someone understand and talk some sense!! He also brought up the subject of domestic violence and asked me about what has been happening. God , i couldn't believe how much relief I felt just being taken seriously and having someone be concerned about my welfare.
He said that his assessment is that my husband is saying a lot of the right things and seems to be committed to making a change. I said that I hope that its true but I'm going to stick to my plan and let things unfold. No commitments other than the commitment to look after myself and my child(ren).
It was good to talk to him.
Have started and finished the adult children of alcoholics book.....yep thats him in there.
I've ordered two more off amazon.
My husbands brother rang me last night, hes a drug and alcohol counsellor and he was really supportive and has had a really no holds barred conversation about my husbands alcohol abuse and his behaviour with him. I really appreciated that after the incident with my husband and his mother...he said he also spoke to his mother about why I reacted the way I did that day....it was so nice just to have someone understand and talk some sense!! He also brought up the subject of domestic violence and asked me about what has been happening. God , i couldn't believe how much relief I felt just being taken seriously and having someone be concerned about my welfare.
He said that his assessment is that my husband is saying a lot of the right things and seems to be committed to making a change. I said that I hope that its true but I'm going to stick to my plan and let things unfold. No commitments other than the commitment to look after myself and my child(ren).
It was good to talk to him.
Have started and finished the adult children of alcoholics book.....yep thats him in there.
I've ordered two more off amazon.
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