SomewhereElse

Hi everyone,

I have an AH (plus both of my parents as well, but I don't see them often), so some of you on this site wisely suggested al-anon. I absolutely love it! I've attended a meeting for the last 4 Mondays in a row, and this week went to a different meeting on Wednesday as well. I exchanged a couple of phone numbers and have spoken with one woman 3-4 times. She's been in the program for years, and in AA as well for many years (I am also an alcoholic, almost 9 months clean and I'm planning to start attending daytime AA meetings once the kids go back to school). I just really hit it off with this woman, and feel comfortable talking with her. I want to ask her to be my sponsor, but I am nervous. Do people sponsor more than one person at a time? I don't know if she's already sponsoring someone else. I know sponsors help you work the steps, but what else do they do?

Tuffgirl

Don't feel nervous - if she says no, it will be because of a very good reason that she will explain and you will understand.

My sponsor helped me work through the steps - but mostly she was encouraging as I struggled through a very hard time.

Ask her! You will have a moment where it will just feel right to ask, and then go for it. I often say about life that the worst thing people can say is YES, because then you have to go do something! ; )

Hope it works out,
~T

honeypig

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ponsor-do.html

Here's a link to a recent thread that might answer some of your questions. Like TG says, go ahead and ask. If she can't sponsor you, she will graciously tell you that. If she can, she will gladly accept. Either way, there will be no rudeness or rejection directed at you. And, as is mentioned in the thread above, sponsorship is not like a marriage--if it turns out to be not a good fit for either party, no harm, no foul, you both go your separate ways w/no hard feelings or problems. People don't always click together, and sometimes you just can't know until you try.

So glad you're finding help in Alanon! Please post back here and let us know what happens w/the sponsor, OK?

LexieCat

Sounds great! Many people sponsor more than one person--some people have a half dozen or so sponsees at the same time. It all depends on their schedule, their style of sponsorship, and personal preferences. If you "want what she has" then go for it--and given that you are a double winner yourself, someone else who is the same would be an awesome choice.

As noted above, don't take it personally if she feels she can't take on the commitment right now. That's better than having her not give you the attention you need. And if she can't, ask her if she has any ideas who else you might ask. Most people in AA or Al-Anon know who walks the talk.

Hammer

Maybe when it comes around to your turn to speak or read or whatever, read your post that you have above.

Ask that if anyone is available, they catch you after the meeting.

What I see is done at an Open Newcomers AA Meeting that I often catch is they ask at the end of the meeting for any of the folks who have some time in to raise their hand if they can sponsor anyone for the benefit of newcomers who do not yet know people, or know who may be available. I never see less than 4 or 5 hands go up.

Thinking about it, Alanon does seem to be that open, but it seems we could benefit from it.