SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/)
-   Friends and Family of Alcoholics (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/)
-   -   Honesty has its rewards (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/303677-honesty-has-its-rewards.html)

LexieCat 08-10-2013 07:58 AM

Honesty has its rewards
 
I've decided to upgrade my kitchen (see uneffing/home improvement thread), and have pretty well decided what sink and faucet I want. I went to Lowe's last night to pick up the faucet I chose, along with some samples of cabinet handles in different finishes. I went through the checkout and paid, but when I got home, I realized they hadn't charged me the $189 for the faucet. I looked at the receipt, and double-checked my bank account, and sure enough, they only charged me the $15 for the hardware.

If they forgot to charge me for a $2 package of screws I might not have gone to the trouble, but a free faucet would haunt me every time I used it. So I went back in and explained what happened and told them I wanted to BUY the faucet. The customer service rep rang me up and gave me a ten percent discount for my honesty.

I thought that was pretty nice. :) And now I will REALLY enjoy that faucet. :)

DreamsofSerenity 08-10-2013 09:39 AM

You are a good person.. I don't know what I would have done. I think I might have kept it without paying for it--I know that's terrible. If it was an independently owned store, I definitely would have gone back and payed. But a big giant like Lowe's, maybe not. I know this might lower my WWLS/WWLD grade but I had to come clean. :)

Your energy on your home improvements is impressive. It was only like three months ago that you were stuck, and now you are kicking some serious a$$ with it.

I got stalled. I started cleaning out a drawer and found a hard drive full of photos. That kick started started a huge photo organization project that is probably going to take me a while. In the meantime, the house is getting more and more effed up.

Anyway, It's good you took the faucet back. I've been hanging out with liars and cheats too much.
I don't even know what is right anymore.

HopefulmomtoD 08-10-2013 10:24 AM

Good move. Years ago, I was shopping with three kids and a baby in the front of the cart, and when I got out to the car after paying, I realized the baby was covering up a spatula that I was buying. I didn't feel like going back in with three kids ... so I somehow justified it to myself, lol. I loved that spatula and used it frequently, but almost everytime I used it, a little voice told me, "you stole it". Recently, my youngest broke it, and everyone was mourning the loss of our favorite spatula. I ended up coming clean to my kids and telling them how I still feel guilty about it - almost 20 years later.

So, the point of my story is ... you've saved yourself so much guilt by doing the right thing!

Argnotthisagain 08-10-2013 10:43 AM


Originally Posted by DreamsofSerenity (Post 4115613)
You are a good person.. I don't know what I would have done. I think I might have kept it without paying for it--I know that's terrible. If it was an independently owned store, I definitely would have gone back and payed. But a big giant like Lowe's, maybe not. I know this might lower my WWLS/WWLD grade but I had to come clean. :)

Your energy on your home improvements is impressive. It was only like three months ago that you were stuck, and now you are kicking some serious a$$ with it.

I got stalled. I started cleaning out a drawer and found a hard drive full of photos. That kick started started a huge photo organization project that is probably going to take me a while. In the meantime, the house is getting more and more effed up.

Anyway, It's good you took the faucet back. I've been hanging out with liars and cheats too much.
I don't even know what is right anymore.

But you spoke about it! That is big! It is the bedrock :)
And the fact that you WANT to know and do what's right, and that you realize hanging out with behavior you feel hinky about has been a problem--these are the critical steps!!

We all come from different starting points....what matters is we start. And that we hang around better role models with the intent to learn. This is what's important. What's doable for one is a huge mountain for another--and vice versa. :)

MrsDarcy 08-10-2013 10:53 AM

I think that's awesome, Lexi. I work in customer service and have been on the opposite side of this kind of situation a few times and I've always been really appreciative of people coming back but I've never thought to give them a discount--but I will from now on. (And for those of you who wouldn't have gone back, if the mistake was entirely the store's fault don't feel too bad--it's on them to get it right--that's the way I've always seen it in my job).

LexieCat 08-10-2013 11:09 AM

Well, to me it's sorta like my walking out of the store without waiting for my change. That would be MY fault, but I'd sure appreciate the cashier running after me to hand it to me. I wouldn't expect an Abe Lincoln trek of 20 miles to return six cents (or however the story goes), but if I handed them a $20 bill for a pack of gum, I'd appreciate someone at least trying to get my attention in the parking lot! And I'd be the first one complaining if they charged me twice for something.

And I didn't expect a discount, but it was very nice and did make me feel good--not that honesty isn't its own reward.

I've always been pretty honest that way, but since I've gotten sober, the importance of it seems greater, somehow. It's that "rigorous honesty" AA drills into you.

lizw 08-10-2013 12:08 PM

That's awesome you did that. One of the things I am grateful for is that I now have a bench mark for my own behaviour, that is not dependent on another person.

Not that it is easy to maintain, all the time. My sponsor is HUGE on the idea that it is possible to behave well despite how others treat us.

In the last few years she introduced me to the concept 'if I eat it, I have to pay for it' as I have has issues with food so if I ever eat out and the waitress left something off the bill I would never say something but these days I do. I've had friends who've told me to forget about it but I always go back and pay. It really does make me feel good about myself.

Summerpeach 08-11-2013 06:13 AM

How did you not realize they didn't charge you when you paid. Surely you must have know the faucet was $190 and when you paid only $15 at check out, that would have been an indication they forgot to charge you?!

dandylion 08-11-2013 06:29 AM

Yeah, Lexie, among the other things that my grandmother tried to teach me is that honesty lies somewhere within us and our "maker" (this is how she spoke). It doesn't matter whether someone outside of us knows or not. I didn't understand a lot of what she was saying when I was a kid.

So, yes, I understand your motive. Satisfaction with your own self is the highest reward in a situation like yours.

this has been a good thread for triggering discussion and sharing!

dandylion

LexieCat 08-11-2013 07:18 AM


Originally Posted by Summerpeach (Post 4117074)
How did you not realize they didn't charge you when you paid. Surely you must have know the faucet was $190 and when you paid only $15 at check out, that would have been an indication they forgot to charge you?!

I was distracted, thinking about what I would be doing when I got home. I swiped my debit card and put in my pin without seeing the total. I looked at the receipt when I got home. If I hadn't looked at the receipt, might never have noticed. I've been buying and returning so many things for this home-improvement project that I have a ton of transactions.

honeypig 08-11-2013 11:11 AM


Originally Posted by LexieCat (Post 4117162)
I was distracted, thinking about what I would be doing when I got home. I swiped my debit card and put in my pin without seeing the total. I looked at the receipt when I got home.

I can easily see how this would happen, as I'm always the person chatting w/the cashier and/or person doing the bagging, and I would say more often than not, I am not aware of what the total is until I get home and enter the info in my record book.

I do my best to always be honest about stuff like that too, and I think it has paid off in some karmic ways--for instance, we had gone to Fleet Farm, bought a whole bunch of stuff including a cheap set of dishes and plates, paid, and (we thought) loaded everything in the car. We got home and found that the box of dishes was nowhere to be found. Not really expecting much, we called the store. They were like "oh, yeah, somebody found a box of dishes on the bottom of a shopping cart in the parking lot and brought them in to Customer Service; if you can describe what they look like, you are welcome to come and pick them up." So that was a GREAT thing to happen, karma or not...!

LexieCat 08-11-2013 11:31 AM

Aarrgh!! My carpenter friend looked at the faucet, looked at my cabinets, and said, "You sure that's gonna fit?"

We measured, and IF it fit, it would be with a tenth of an inch to spare--I have a glass cabinet above the sink.

I was bummed, because customers LOVED that faucet, and it would have been really nice with my sink. HOWEVER, this is getting pricy enough without moving or replacing the dang cabinets! At least I don't have the awkwardness of returning the faucet without the receipt.

Anyhow, I did some more research online and found one that I don't like QUITE as much, but it will be fine. It's still a high arc, but not as tall as the other one.

Ugh. Anyway, now I gotta get back to getting ready for the carpetbaggers, er, carpet layers tomorrow. Putting stuff on deck, in bathrooms, kitchen, etc.

NWGRITS 08-11-2013 11:40 AM

I love that you got a discount on the faucet! I tried going back to pay for a pack of diapers at Walgreens once, and the manager tried to treat me like the scum of the earth. I don't know that I would do the same should that happen in the future at that particular store. Diapers aren't cheap, and I was scraping just to afford them. I didn't have to go back.

lillamy 08-11-2013 12:01 PM

Well that sucks that it doesn't fit -- but you did the right thing!

I once walked out of the grocery store with two 12-packs of diet coke (unpaid) on the bottom of the cart. I had three kids with me, it was the middle of winter, but I just couldn't NOT pay for them (especially since my oldest kid immediately realized we never paid for them).

So we walked back in, I shamefacedly explained to the cashier what had happened, apologized, and paid for them.

I shopped at the same store for another five years, and that particular cashier never forgot. She'd say "you're that lady who came back to pay $12 for two packs of coke that you could have just walked off with!" Didn't make me a dime but it did make me happy every time during a time when I really needed someone to remind me that I was a good person. :)


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:01 AM.