BeYourself1

My AB went to his psychiatrist today and she wrote him a prescription for Revia. He sees his psy every other month due to a depressive bout he went through earlier this year. Anyway, and I have to laugh a little here, last night he came home from a business dinner quite blitzed and then told me he was going to discuss his drinking with the psy. Yes, I can see how serious you are - lol! So, when he told me about his new prescription I just listened, nodded and smiled. No emotion - just being polite (a few weeks ago, I would have been all over him about this). He also told me that he thinks he can limit his drinking in a similar method to how he quit bitting his nails and bitting the inside of his cheek. Just stop doing it. Now, I'm not an A, but I'm pretty sure the drive to drink is much stronger than biting one's nails/cheeks.... The psy also suggested he alternate between alcoholic and non-alcoholic beer. Really!?!?! This does not sound like an individual who is anywhere committed to sobriety.

My question to everyone:
1. Has your A partner ever taken this medication (or something similar)? How did it go?

2. I explained to him a couple of weeks ago that I will not be staying in this relationship where alcohol is present every night. Am I being uber-controlling by wanting my partner to be completely sober? I know what he will say if I bring it up to him: "nothing is good enough for you" or "you are just trying to control me," quack quack quack.

Thanks guys

SparkleKitty

Hey there --

I have no ESH on Question 1, and will leave it to others more experience!

For Q2, though...you are not being uber-controlling. Because you cannot control him. If you truly will not be staying in a relationship where alcohol is present then you must leave if it is. It sounds to me like alcohol is there to stay. Until he figures out moderation doesn't work. Which could be decades from now. If you only said to try to make him stop, then you are just attempting to control what cannot be controlled, and teaching him that you don't really mean what you say.

He can quack all he wants. What do you want?

jkb

Hi BeYourself!-
My doctor prescribed revia in hopes of helping me become a "moderate drinker". The deal was "take a pill and drink as usual." Yay for me I thought. And I drank about half of what I normally would.... just didn't want more...

The catch for me was I felt VERY BAD on that medication. I drank 6 beers but was sick for two days. It can also be prescribed to help with cravings and not used in conjunction with alcohol.

So then I took it for cravings... still very sick.

Anyway, point is when I was done is when I quit. Switching between alcoholic and non alcoholic beer???? If he is an alcoholic he is going to find this very difficult. Anyways, you have to do what is good for you... it sounds like he does not want to quit.

Jess

BeYourself1

Thanks for your responses and support! The only person who knows about this aspect of our relationship is my mother and she isn't exactly objective. So, your "outsider" thoughts and insights are really helpful and a much-needed dose of fresh air.

When I told him that I was not going to be in an alcohol-based relationship, I was honestly doing it for myself. Yay! As so many have noted, "when you are done, you are done...you will know it". That's where I am right now.

It will be interesting to watch how he utilizes/responds to this "silver bullet".

Thanks again

JettBoy

I take risperdone but my shrink has no delusions about moderation anything,I'm an addict,I love narcotics but I'm also smart enough to know I can't take one oxy 40 ,I have to take forty of them. I don't understand any medical professional that thinks addiction can be moderated...best to you both!!!

BeYourself1

JettBoy, Thank you for sharing your experience. Yeah, when he told me what she said, I wanted to ask where she went to med school. But, I (amazingly) kept my mouth shut.

Thanks again!