LexieCat

I don't know that leaving your spouse, and having a relationship with someone else, qualifies as "cheating." I think the suspicion is that the relationship started before he left. Especially if he was unfaithful during his first marriage.

Have you asked him about that? It might be a start.

Whether he is cheating or not, though, he doesn't sound like someone I personally would be inclined to trust. Guess it depends on how much of a problem that is for you.

choublak

Hire a private investigator.

Although, since you're already wondering about these things, there's already a problem in the relationship and how you find out doesn't matter.

Bubovski

Of course this does happen.
AA specialises in alcoholic behaviour and this includes lust.
AA also helps mould better people.
Your husband's sexual slip might just be the thing to put him further back on track.
Perhaps you need to view this in terms of the totality of his bad behaviour,

MTD

My husband is also in rehab. I worry that being around and sharing with other addicted women that he will find someone that he relates to better. I get worried that he will leave me for someone that has lent a shoulder to cry on. I too and an alcoholic and maybe it is just my insecure self that is playing on my emotions.

thislonelygirl

Its typical to hear this. Ive heard so mannnny times over an acoholic gets sober and leaves wife/gf for aa member. Its just another one of the ways that an addict acts selfishly and cruely.
Its the ride were on while they "figure it out"
I really feel for you. I do. I couldnt imagine my ah doing that to me then again nothing really surprises me with addiction. Not anymore
I would say to give your husband another shot BUT counseling as s couple is farrrrr from the problem.
No matter what fault he says lies with you. Its him.
Recovery isnt just about sobreity....its about the mind that was lost in addiction.
He needs to eat sleep and breath recovery and this is something HE must do. Not YALL.
Dont take him back right away....see how he does on his own first. He used the girl as an escape. Like he did when he was using.
Dont let him tell you otherwise ...it wasnt what you did or didnt do.
It wasnt what she did or said.
It wasnt that he bonded with her.
It was that he ran away once again....instead of with a bottle It was with this woman.
Unfair to you no doubt but addiction IS being sick.

choublak

FWIW, my father first met his mistress or whatever in the smoothie café thing of a Gold's Gym.

thislonelygirl

Phone records, emails, internet activity.....but it always starts with your gut.
Ide say dig but you might not like what you found.