Update on AH
 

AH went to A and E on Monday night via ambulance. He has now been transferred to a specialist hospital for brain injuries. They seem to think he has had bleed on the :thanksbrain. They want to do an operation to drain some of the blood. He is very confused and I haven't been able to speak to him. He doesnt' understand the operation but the medical team so that wouldn't stop them from operating as long as I give my permission. They also said they had had good results with patients getting some of their intellect back but not all of it!
He had fallen in the cat house around 10 days ago but didn't seem to know if he had hit his head or not. He had gone to the doctor and said she examined him and didn't want him o have a scan. But he got more and mofre confused as time went on - lawn mower was a hoover and was going to put pen on charge - didn't seem to know if it was 7am or 7pm! Lost keys and forgot they were hanging in key box! I did eventually get him to phone NHS direct but he was so muddled they asked him to put me on and then insisted on sending amubulance.
Really worried what will happen when he comes home. Will he keep drinking? Will he take his pills? I feel I am going to end up as a carer which would be ok if he co-operates but will he? I also think any brain surgery is risky so at 74, can I be sure he will survive but what other option is there? I have been told is brain has shrunk. I also wonder if some of the behaviour problems have been due to the blood building up?
At least I know I am not going mad and there was something wrong and my instincts were spot on which guess is some kind of relief. I have lovely friends who have been very neglected by me recently but are still there for me - AH doesn't want me to leave house and has threatened to let cats out - he is so doddery I worry he may do this by accident anyway.
I am going to make the most of the next few days of freedom! God only knows what the future holds for me. I am going to see my friend who has ad a lovely new black kitten today, hairdo tomorrow and I will hopefully get to seem my father for more than 10 mins! I also hope to do a cat show on Saturday -selfish maybe but I don't know when I can show again if I end up a full time carer.
I have been very touched and at times humbled by the postings in this site - so many people are really struggling and are doing the very best they can. Unless you live with an alcoholic, you just do not understand the daily challenges it involves.

I would make sure the medical staff knows about his drinking. My second husband went through an "unplanned detox" when he went into the hospital for pneumonia, and it was bad. His liver and kidneys shut down and he was in a coma for two weeks and almost didn't make it.

And yes, long-term alcoholism can cause the brain to "shrink".

Hugs, hope you take care of yourself during this time.

Oh, Quish, I'm so sorry to hear this.....I'm glad you were able to get an ambulance there and get him to the hospital!

Right now......breathe.....and breathe again.

He is in good and capable hands of medical caregivers. Allow yourself to unwind--just a bit.

I don't know that any of us can tell you what the future holds--but just for today, try to relax a bit knowing your husband is where he needs to be to receive appropriate care.

Don't worry LexieCat, I have told the doctor in the A and E, and confirmed it is written in his notes at specialist centre. I wonder if this bleed was what caused or partially caused the verbal aggression and paranoid behaviour.
They hope to operate to drain the blood in next 48 hours - they say he very confused and won't let him talk to me on the phone. Doctor told me to wait 48 hours after operation before visiting. There are risks with the operation given his age. AH doesn't understand where he is so can't give his consent but doctor says that doesn't matter nd as I am ok about it,will operate anyway.
I am up to my eyes in cat grooming - been so hot, the show cats are losing all their coats and the show is on Saturday so will bomb out big time - Wegies are judged very much by coat quality but my friend is coming with me and I will meet up with the owner of the potential daddy of my next litter.
Queenie my Grand Champion looked super 2 weeks ago, but now she looks like a short haired cat.

I'm kinda in your shoes with my AH. He suffered a brain bleed too on 7/3. I have also seen memory loss but I can't say for sure if it was the head injury or the vodka. I can say it's a little of of both.

We have 20 years between us. I have been thinking more and more, if he continues on this path and does not change, that I will also be a full time care giver. I remember when we first got serious that a fear of his was that I would have to be his caregiver. If we made it, I would do it because he was good to me and I would do this. These are special circumstances when loving a spouse who is much older than you.

Then after marrying him, the alcohell came to light. I have a dear friend who owns a care home n she told me how her husband is a RA. She said, if you stay the course, don't feel shame in placing him if you can't do it anymore. I think about that all the time. I have the experience and thepatience to do the work involved in providing top notch care. But... will I be able to keep him home even after the crap he's pulled? That question remains to be seen.

What I willdo now is take care of me. You must do that too. It is not selfish. If anyone is selfish, it is the A's in our lives but they cannot see it. We don't know what the future holds but we can put our best foot forward and find peace andhappiness, even if it's 12 hours at a time. Take your respite with the kitty shows. Enjoy it!!! You deserve to find happiness even though he doesn't or can't partake.

Take care Boxingrotz - my heart goes out to you You sound really caring but alcoholics would try the patience of a saint. At the end of the day we can only do our best. I have felt as if I was in prison last few months - not allowed out and then got to the stage where I was worried to leave him alone. But at least in prison one gets out early for good behaviour. I obviously can't leave now and we have been married 23 years and a lot of it was very happy.
All the very best wishes for your husband and I really hope he improves.
Helena

My brother had two brain bleeds, known as subdural hematomas, and two surgeries to fix them. He was unconscious for close to 6 wks. He was about 60 when this happened. He did recover very well, altho he had some memory issues about events in the past, he got them quite jumbled. A brain bleed can kill a person, so I hope you give your permission for him to have his surgery.

As for what happens after, I dont think any of us can predict that.

You are not selfish, you are a wonder!
 

I am so terribly sorry to hear of your husband's brain bleed.
Hopefully, the surgery will be a great success and he recovers fully.

More importantly, is how you are taking care of yourself.
Great job!
Getting hair done, seeing your father for a real visit, instead of a ten minute hit
and run, going to the cat show.
You are an inspiration.
I am sorry the Wegie's coat is not cooperating, but this is how it goes sometimes.
(Listen to me, telling the expert how a cat's coat doesn't cooperate! :lmao)

Darn it! she is still Grand Champion though! Yay Queenie!

Beth

Can you take pictures? I would love to see pics of your cats, or if the show has
a website, then I could look and admire there. :)

Thanks for making me laugh Beth and for bringing me down to earth - I always take the best cats home. I am in danger of taking cat shows far to seriously sometimes!!!!
I have added a few pics to my album and will try and add the names. But on Saturday I m showing
Aslan (Machiavella)
Georgie (Marchesa)
Queenie's son and daughter and of course Queenie plus her nephew my beloved Lysander.
If you get time to have a look at my photos, do let me know what you think. The first pic is of Lady Penelope who is a beauty but won't show - she is a right bovine but nearly gave birth the one litter in my arms!

Quish,
So sorry to hear of your husband's condition. I can only imagine how worried you must be. Glad to hear he's in a specialist hospital and getting the care he needs.

Do make time to take a deep breath and care for you! So important to do.

By the way, your cats are GORGEOUS! I'm such a cat lover, but I only have two for now. If my AH wasn't allergic to them, I'd probably become the old cat lady you see on the news with 47 of them. Best of luck at the show this weekend.

LaurenR

Glad you like the pics. I had 22 at one stage but am now down to17 and Galliano is now 17 years old plus several other oldies, so I guess our numbers will go down. Still tempted to have just one more litter with Queenie but need to see how things work out with AH.
I think I have already morphed into mad cat woman - used to be designer diva! But they give me a huge amount of happiness and have helped me cope with last few days!

Quish, I looked at your cats! They are amazing.