lillamy

I have a general idea.
The driving is like the being drunk when they are in his care.
You suspect it might be happening, but unless you know for sure, there isn't one whole heck of a lot you can do. You don't want to be the parent who cried wolf until the cops start ignoring your calls.

Drunk driving is a very sore issue for me. A good friend lost her son to a drunk driver. However, there are limitations to what you can do as the other parent. The law doesn't look at what's right and fair, only what's written.

PippiLngstockng

It could have been much worse. He wanted to take them back to the US, or at least out of this country. And he wanted their passports. And he wanted the judge to say he could call in the cops if I refused to hand them over.

Fortunately, the judge doesn't want to be held responsible for kidnapping.
So I keep the passports, they keep in country.

AH booked a place high in the mountains. Remote. Near two international borders.

But This isn't my thread.

But OP, maybe it doesn't hurt to know about these things a wee bit.

Llilamy, THANK YOU.

lillamy

Having to send your kids off with a guy you don't know if he's gonna be drunk as a skunk is hell. It is absolutely the worst thing I have been through. If there is anything, anything at all you can do to avoid it, do it.

File for divorce. If you're not getting back together with him - gods sakes the dude has a girlfriend - why NOT file for divorce? You have a leg up if you file before he does...

And I want to emphasize that this is NOT about preventing the Children from seeing their father; it's about ensuring their safety as long as their father is an unreliable addict. I would be rich if I had a dollar for every time I've tried to explain to my ex that I WANT him to have a relationship with the kids, but in order to do that, he needs to be in a healthier place. You can't parent when you're sleeping in your own vomit in the hallway on Sunday morning.

Catherine628

Its helpful to hear what others are going through with custody issues. Tough stuff. Just think mine is too new in his sobriety right now. Of course he says the GF is not in the picture anymore. Trust is a whole other issue.

Catherine628

. You can't parent when you're sleeping in your own vomit in the hallway on Sunday morning.[/QUOTE]

This says it all.

You asked an excellent question: Why NOT divorce. Made an appt with a therapist to discuss this very thing. I guess its all my codependency crap.

Santa

PippiLngstockng - I apologize. I really do. You are right, I don't know what you are going through. We are all here doing everything in our power to protect our kids.

To the OP - my ex and I went through legal separation (I had to pay for the whole thing). At the time, my lawyer said, why would you stay married to him? I thought it would be easier on the kids if we were only separated. The only thing it did was drag out the process and cost me even more money that I did not have when I went back through the court system to finalize the divorce. If I had it to do again I would have listed to my attorney more closely.