choublak

It was in that "Olde English" font too. One of the police officers was trying to figure out what it was; he probably thought it was a gang tattoo.

dandylion

Crazed, she is dry and sober--but, she is too early in the process to even be able to trust herself, much. The alcoholic brain is still under the effects of the disease.

Be careful not to be sucked right back into the vortex.

dandylion

Crazed

I do not care for the tattoo, and had the same knee jerk reaction. But after I thought about it over night, I realized I am in no place to judge her based upon a tattoo. If she starts drinking again, then I may judge

I guess I should have been more precise- My original post was about if you can trust this particular proven liar (EXAG) again. There was not meant to be an implication of a future together, etc. I have no issue trusting folks that have never given me reason to not trust. There is a great pool of experience here, and I was reaching out to the folks that have been lied to repeatedly in their past by their alcoholic, and then their alcoholic is in active recovery, sober, and does not lie anymore. Is it possible to again truly trust that individual? I have my doubts, but I am wondering if others have.

To better set the stage, the conversations this week have not been about getting back together, rekindling romance, etc. They were very "today" oriented. It was more of a catching up on how we have been doing, what we have been doing, etc. And at the end of it all we agreed that no contact is still the best thing.

ZenMe

The fact that you are asking means you are thinking about a future together, a situation where you would want a certain level of trust.

No contact isn't meeting up and deciding to go NC till the next time you meetup again.

choublak

I'm confused. You're asking if you can trust a particular proven liar? What?

Seren

Asked in all kindness and respect, but if she is your ex and you have no plans to pursue a future with her, why do you need to trust her?

Crazed

Sorry for the confusion.

My original post was to gain helpful insight from individuals that have
1) Loved and been lied to by an alcoholic (I assume this includes many here)
2) The alcoholic sought recovery and now lives an honest, sober life

If a board member referenced in #1 is still in contact with the person referenced in #2, do the feelings of distrust ever go away?

Hydro- My post was a response to an uncomfortable feeling I had during our discussions. You are correct, it shouldn't matter. But I am curious.

choublak

I think it takes time (like several years) and the honesty will then speak for itself.

Unless, of course, they're a pathological liar who also happened to be an alcoholic. Some people just lie for sport.

dandylion

crazed, I have never had your situation of having an A partner who recovered.

I have had friends and some co-workers who were several years into recovery---and, I trusted them very much. They worked a program and seemed to place a great value on honesty.

Does this help--I hope.

dandylion

Hammer

Charley Brown seemed to get over his distrust issues . . . .



a little too early.

To his regret.