I have made a choice

Old 05-29-2004, 04:54 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Nature Girl
Ann's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 58,635
Ask and you shall receive

I PM'd you and if you give me a hint as to what you would like I am happy to do it.

Ann is offline  
Old 05-29-2004, 06:10 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Supply Manager
JT's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Ward drinks to the point of being stupid most nights and then he falls asleep. Sometimes I think it is sad, sometimes it annoyes me, sometimes I feel lonely and sometimes I get down right pissed. Once after a burned pizza and a broken coffee table I told him "I may not be leaving today but I will not live this way forever" The cards were on the table and the only thing that changed was me.

I don't have any kids at home that it is affecting and there haven't been anymore fire scares or broken funiture so here I am. He has had one DUI. Another one would probably put me in action mode. But for now I just keep myself busy.

If there is something I wan't to do, I do it. I join, I read, I come here, I work out. In fact I am going to Fla alone in July. That is me detaching. And I am a pretty happy camper.

JT is offline  
Old 05-29-2004, 08:26 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
stressedout's Avatar
Join Date: May 2004
Location: out there some where
Posts: 35
Good Morning to All,
I really feel bad for you Dazimae, Like yours my A is a great man, but the alcohol has distroyed his thinking, for example last year at Christmas he spent $200.00 on his buds, I got nothing,not even a card! That is just one of so many painful things Ive had happen. If I could just wave a magic wand. My A quit drinking for 2weeks but I had to stop "playing" on my computer, start doing things with him, Why?? if Im watching TV he will change the channel in the middle of my show, he still would hang out at the bar drinking pepsi, what is boils down to is I must walk this razors edge or he will start drinking,guess what, then drink, I have given him everything,he has given me nothing, Im done giving I wont let myself get hurt anymore. Whatever happens to him is his own doing,

I have had the most bizzar thing happen, when I was 16 I had a boyfriend he was 18 and he was just the most wonderful person, he was my first love, I ended up getting pregnant. with the support of my father I had to make some important choices.anyway I ended up sending him away(brain dead moment) I raised our daugther myself,well throught several bad relationships, and 33+ years here he is. He has a very good job, deep spiritual convictions,doesnt drink, Talks about anything, just an all around nice guy,as he was before. and He is still in Love with me.

boy does that throw a wrench in the mix, I know that my A isnt going to change unless he wants to, I look down the road 5yrs from now and Im still driving his drunk a** around. I am very bitter towards him cuz of the way hes treated me. I have detached,to the point that my A is no longer in my life. I take care of myself, I do not support him cuz unless he quits there is nothing to support.

I know and dont worry Im not jumping off the bridge!!! if things dont change soon, Im not sitting here and watching him die! Im going to buy myself a farm in Texas and be fat dumb and happy with a garden and some amimals. and Im going to spend some time trying to find Debbie, I know shes out there somewhere.

I just dont get it if people would just treat their other half like they do their friends, instead of their possessions what a great place to live.

I guess Ive taken up enought time
Hugs to All and God bless

"If you love something let it run free
if it leaves and comes back its yours,
if not,
it never was.... I forgot the author, I just like that saying
stressedout is offline  
Old 05-30-2004, 02:10 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Dazimae's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Castle Pa
Posts: 67
Hello Debbie, Well I have made the move. MY A got so drunk last night and was taken to the ER with a 2.70 Blood level and they sent him home to drink more. He woke up this morning and when I went to get more clothes he was drunk and still pounding them away.
Even though I am living with a friend and her 4 kids in a very small house I am very thankful that I have her to help me. I feel sad for my A and hope he will one day find peace for himself but i the meantime I have to find it for me and my kids. I have looked at my life and say " This can't be my life" I grew up with an alcoholic and never wish that for my kids. For now I am taking care of myself and being the mother I need and want to be without worring all the time weather or not he is drinking and the fear of what he will start.
Thank you to everyone
Dazimae is offline  
Old 05-30-2004, 03:19 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
McKrazy's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: black diamond WA
Posts: 203
Dazi, keep us informed and know that we are so behind you and want your best and what's best for your kids. This has to be incredibly painful and difficult and you need lots of support. I'm thankful you have this friend and she's opened her house to you. Take care.
McKrazy is offline  
Old 05-30-2004, 03:38 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hey Dazi,
I'm glad you found a safe haven.
Keep taking care of yourself, that's what it's all about.
Gabe is offline  
Old 06-01-2004, 03:59 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Dazimae's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Castle Pa
Posts: 67
Thank you all, Today he has started to sober up and has seen what damage he has caused. At first you know I got the " You should not have left me in that shape" I said You should not have gotten in that shape. Now he is trying to talk me into going home and him living in the motor home in of all places "THE BACK YARD" I said no faster than my mind thought. I have stuck to my guns and decided I will not go back unless he is 100% clean and sober and working the program. It is hard to see him this lonley but then I think I have been lonley for so long.
My kids are at peace right now even though it is a little tight living here, they do not have to worry about him drinking.
Thank you all again for your support
Dazimae is offline  
Old 06-01-2004, 04:36 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
jessieandme2003's Avatar
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Levittown Pennsylvania
Posts: 264
safe, what a beautiful word

Isn't it wonderful to be in that nice safe place? To feel safe? I am sure it is wonderful for your kids too.


I just like the sound of it. I remember the day not too long ago I said out loud to someone "I just want to feel safe."

Safety for us is not just a word about a physical thing. I just wanted to be safe from all and any kind of hurt.

You said:
For now I am taking care of myself and being the mother I need and want to be without worring all the time weather or not he is drinking and the fear of what he will start.
And those words went right to my heart. Enjoy this time with your children in the comfort of safety.

And, as someone once told me at a face-to-face meeting...
Give Yourself the Gift of Time.

Do not let anyone rush you into any decision.
jessieandme2003 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:22 PM.