Hello, I'm a newbie
 

Yesterday I said goodbye to my best friend. We were together for 4 years. I suspected an alcohol addiction in year three due to the volume in one sitting, but it was very rare when he would drink. I had no idea who he really was. Thirteen months ago his best friend died during an accidental firearm discharge. Everything fell apart after that. He was spending upwards of $2,500 a month on alcohol and god only knows what else. He started lying to me about where he was and who he was with or he just wouldn’t come home. I soon discovered that the alcohol may not be his only addiction. He was a member on several websites to meet people for casual sex. I have come to find out that his friends and family think I am crazy because he has told them so many lies. They think I spend all of his money, and mistreat him. I have been reading these forums and feel so much better about my situation. He left me for a girl at the bar and moved to his mother’s couch. When he came to get the last of his belongings, I also took the car that I bought him. I felt like the meanest person on the planet until I read some of your stories. Thank you so much for being open and honest. I should be glad he left because I know I am so much better off, but, I do still love him and it sucks.

:c029: $2,500?!

Have you gotten yourself checked for STD's? I'm not being a smartass either!

Welcome to SR.

Yes, thank god all negative.

bradychi, there are many emotions that we mistakenly label as "love" which really aren't--not the kind that enriches and brings meaning and joy to our lives.

dandylion

Sounds like you handled it really well! and it sounds like you are definitely over. What are you doing here haha?

I'm sorry you are hurting. I hope you come to find soon that you deserve so much more than he was giving you.

Welcome.

No need to feel mean.

His actions against your relationship, THAT is mean.

You are not being mean by ending it, or taking the car back.

Keep posting here and reading. Soon enough, you won't feel "mean". You will see, then KNOW/FEEL in your heart, that you aren't.

Hello bradychi, Welcome!

It can all seem to spiral so far out of control in such a hurry with addiction. Please believe that none of what you did is mean or heartless. Plus, it doesn't matter what his friends and family think, you know the truth, and they will find it out soon enough at the pace he is going.

Please make yourself at home here. You'll find this is a wonderful and supportive place.

Welcome, again!

No matter who did what to whom, 4 years is a long time, and it's ok for you take all the time you need to recover from the loss. Surround yourself with loving friends and family, and try to remember what you loved doing before he came into your life. You can re-build and move on. Joining SR was a great idea!

Welcome to SR
Yes it sucks to say goodbye but it is also a healthy choice for yourself.
Try to focus on yourself now.
SR is a great place for support.
Hugs.

Thank you all so much for understanding and encouragement. I don't feel so alone here. You all seem to have been in my shoes, feeling unloved and rejected. I am still just trying to tie up loose ends with finances and such. His sons belongings are still here, but he plans on getting them this weekend. His oldest son is moving in with a family member because he refuses to live with his father now. He stays here with me sometimes. I feel so bad for him. This was apparently the only stable home he ever had and his dad just drank it all away. On the bright side, I found a friend who needs to save for a house and is gonna move in with me to help with finances till I get back on my feet. So, its a win, win thing and it makes it impossible for me to get weak and take him back. Its been five days since I have had any contact with him and I have made it through the last two with no crying. I know that given time his face will fade from my memory and I will be okay. Everyday gets easier.