Watching a friend spiral
 

Yesterday I went to the beach and met up with an old friend who happened to be the exact same person that bought me my first bottle of MD 20/20 when I was 16.

Twenty five years ago, we were in Florida, on the beach ironically, and that night, I drank that bottle in a matter of seconds. The sickness that ensued as a result lasted 3 days.

While talking yesterday, I noticed how she had aged so much in just a year. She has ten year old triplets so I assumed life was simply taking its toll. Triplets pretty much gets you a pass on any aging perceptions that society deems appropriate. But I remembered seeing her just last year and she looked - fabulous. Stunning. Vibrant, alive, whole.

Then her husband brought her a drink from the bar. And it was clearly not water. She sheepishly smiled and said, "Mommys Lemonade. Want some ?"
I looked at my watch, smiled and said "Noon is a little too early for this momma"
It didn't even phase her. She told me her husband doesn't drink either because he has "issues". I thought , well if that ain't the pot..

I watched her drink another martini, pack her kids up, and get in the car. Granted she lives close, but I gulped and swallowed hard as they proceeded to leave.

There but for the grace.

I'm sorry. It's hard to see someone you care about behave in ways that are unhealthy. Hard to see when there are children involved. Good for you for passing and mentioning the time of day as well.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and that her husband actually bought her a drink seems like some powerful enabling to me. If she really is driving drunk, and you witness this, I hope that you will not hesitate to call the police. Those poor children!

Prayers for her and her family as well as for you! I get how hard it is to see someone you love be so very self-destructive and be so apparently blind to it.

I think often of one of the kids I knew growing up.

Sweetest person in the world, nice guy, not so smart.

We used to say that he had a heart of gold, but a brain of wood.

He did everything we all did back in those days, but never could get away from drinking and using. I tried to drag him into recovery after I had gotten clean, but he didn't see he was addicted.

Eventually he was on the street, his mom had turned her back on him, and he died from a cerebral hemorrhage as a result of being punched by some unknown person.

He's one of the reasons I have to either put on my war face or cry when I hear "the needle and the damage done."