Have You Ever Had Your Pets Harmed?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hillsborough, NJ
Posts: 267
"He now sleeps, every night on what used to be her side of the bed.[/QUOTE]
Nice job!
I'm glad that you stood up for kitty and yourself and broke away from what sounds like a very toxic woman...
It sounds like we're all of us on this post are much better off...
Linda
Nice job!
I'm glad that you stood up for kitty and yourself and broke away from what sounds like a very toxic woman...
It sounds like we're all of us on this post are much better off...
Linda
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 274
He now sleeps, every night on what used to be her side of the bed.[/QUOTE]
I am so glad the cat is still with you - I am sorry you had to go through all this.
I am sad for everyone posting who has lost a pet or had a pet abused by an alcoholic.
. Alcoholics use pets to control us. I literally live for my cats and only stay with my AH for them. They are a huge comfort although also a huge tie but I wouldn't desert them for all the money in the world. Indeed, they are my world.
I am so glad the cat is still with you - I am sorry you had to go through all this.
I am sad for everyone posting who has lost a pet or had a pet abused by an alcoholic.
. Alcoholics use pets to control us. I literally live for my cats and only stay with my AH for them. They are a huge comfort although also a huge tie but I wouldn't desert them for all the money in the world. Indeed, they are my world.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Many years ago, I think we were married about 18 months or so, my AH beat our puppy. She had chewed something that she shouldn't have and it was our fault for not crating her. She was about 10 months old. He punched her in the head and kicked her and this was when he was sober because he quit drinking before we were married.
You know, I blocked that memory out of my mind for years until we got our new puppy recently. My AH made a comment about how our first dog never trusted him because of that incident. He was remorseful about it and all of a sudden the horror of that long ago moment hit me. My son later asked me what dad was talking about and I told him. My son said, "Why didn't you divorce him?"
I still sit here today and wonder what the heck was I thinking: I saw this man beat our dog and said nothing. He never did it again, but he's right about her trusting him. She never listened to him, she was always by my side. Then, we got a shepherd mix and she became my other shadow. He never hit her or touched her nor has he ever hit me, pushed me, etc.
You know, I blocked that memory out of my mind for years until we got our new puppy recently. My AH made a comment about how our first dog never trusted him because of that incident. He was remorseful about it and all of a sudden the horror of that long ago moment hit me. My son later asked me what dad was talking about and I told him. My son said, "Why didn't you divorce him?"
I still sit here today and wonder what the heck was I thinking: I saw this man beat our dog and said nothing. He never did it again, but he's right about her trusting him. She never listened to him, she was always by my side. Then, we got a shepherd mix and she became my other shadow. He never hit her or touched her nor has he ever hit me, pushed me, etc.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: California
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by lizatola 
Many years ago, I think we were married about 18 months or so, my AH beat our puppy. She had chewed something that she shouldn't have and it was our fault for not crating her. She was about 10 months old. He punched her in the head and kicked her and this was when he was sober because he quit drinking before we were married.
You know, I blocked that memory out of my mind for years until we got our new puppy recently. My AH made a comment about how our first dog never trusted him because of that incident. He was remorseful about it and all of a sudden the horror of that long ago moment hit me. My son later asked me what dad was talking about and I told him. My son said, "Why didn't you divorce him?"
I still sit here today and wonder what the heck was I thinking: I saw this man beat our dog and said nothing. He never did it again, but he's right about her trusting him. She never listened to him, she was always by my side. Then, we got a shepherd mix and she became my other shadow. He never hit her or touched her nor has he ever hit me, pushed me, etc.
You know, I blocked that memory out of my mind for years until we got our new puppy recently. My AH made a comment about how our first dog never trusted him because of that incident. He was remorseful about it and all of a sudden the horror of that long ago moment hit me. My son later asked me what dad was talking about and I told him. My son said, "Why didn't you divorce him?"
I still sit here today and wonder what the heck was I thinking: I saw this man beat our dog and said nothing. He never did it again, but he's right about her trusting him. She never listened to him, she was always by my side. Then, we got a shepherd mix and she became my other shadow. He never hit her or touched her nor has he ever hit me, pushed me, etc.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: California
Posts: 228
My husband brought home 2 dogs that I did not want.
He does not ever care for them. He never walks them, feeds them or takes them to the vet. He brought them home for me to have 100% responsibility over them even though I told him I did not want them. He also likes to criticize how I care for them and gets into screaming rages if the small dog messes in the house. He tells me I'm not "alpha" enough with them. I tell them that he is perfectly able to walk his dogs if he wants to.
The weirdest thing is that he likes to make jokes that I'm a "crazy animal lady" because he got 2 dogs for me to take care of. I, honestly, have never gone to the pound to procure an animal. I can't even wrap my head around this.
We actually went into counseling over the dog issue alone. I made it very clear that I didn't want dogs (I had a toddler and a baby). But he got them anyway and refused to take care of them.
But what am I supposed to do?? Of course, I do take care of them. I walk them every day and now I love them very much. They are cuddling next to me as a type. I'm just still really bitter about it. It's such bizarre behavior.
He does not ever care for them. He never walks them, feeds them or takes them to the vet. He brought them home for me to have 100% responsibility over them even though I told him I did not want them. He also likes to criticize how I care for them and gets into screaming rages if the small dog messes in the house. He tells me I'm not "alpha" enough with them. I tell them that he is perfectly able to walk his dogs if he wants to.
The weirdest thing is that he likes to make jokes that I'm a "crazy animal lady" because he got 2 dogs for me to take care of. I, honestly, have never gone to the pound to procure an animal. I can't even wrap my head around this.
We actually went into counseling over the dog issue alone. I made it very clear that I didn't want dogs (I had a toddler and a baby). But he got them anyway and refused to take care of them.
But what am I supposed to do?? Of course, I do take care of them. I walk them every day and now I love them very much. They are cuddling next to me as a type. I'm just still really bitter about it. It's such bizarre behavior.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: San Mateo, Ca
Posts: 52
It's a very ugly thing, probably only second to elder or child abuse/neglect.
I know of instances of proven neglect of animals by addicts/alcoholics, and I don't doubt abuse happens too.
Back when I was running amok (35 or so years back), there was a bar/grill I and my crew would hang out at that had both cats and dogs as bar "pets."
I wasn't on the scene when it happened, but a bar patron went out of his way to kick one of the big ginger toms that lived at the joint and he somehow ended up outside by the side of the street found by the cops bent out of shape and uncommunicative.
He lived, the cat lived, justice was served.
I know of instances of proven neglect of animals by addicts/alcoholics, and I don't doubt abuse happens too.
Back when I was running amok (35 or so years back), there was a bar/grill I and my crew would hang out at that had both cats and dogs as bar "pets."
I wasn't on the scene when it happened, but a bar patron went out of his way to kick one of the big ginger toms that lived at the joint and he somehow ended up outside by the side of the street found by the cops bent out of shape and uncommunicative.
He lived, the cat lived, justice was served.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: San Mateo, Ca
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by drc5426
My ex neglected our cat.
A few years ago she wanted a kitten. I was never really an animal person and had never owned a cat before. One day, She hyped up our daughter about it until I finally said okay because I knew it would've been argued about time and time again unless we got one. Much to my landlord's dismay, we all went down to the pound the next morning and picked up a 2 week old tabby. Her and our daughter picked out the kitten then went home. I stayed to do all the paper work and waited while they cleaned his ears.
She loved that kitten. Right up until the point he became a cat.
He nipped a bit and was kind of frisky. My ex didn't like that. Her words to me were " I wanted something cuddly."
As he got bigger she disliked him more and more. One day out of the blue she completely disowned him. Her reasoning was that when she took our daughter home that day I f*cked something up then bought home the wrong cat.
Not the one she picked out so she simply stopped caring for him.
She decided one day to make him an outside cat and threw him out. We live in an urban area. Lots of strays, cars etc. Not something I wanted for him. Beside this we have kids and cats outside bring all sorts of dead animals in the house. He did well for about 2 weeks but one day came back injured.
I handled it. $200 to the vet but whatever. My cat has a life and deserves to live it.
Things got rough at my job one month later and I started working double shifts. She then quit feeding him because that wasn't her cat. This really upset me and I've been taking care of him every day since.
A thousand times this year I've been told by her to bring him back to the pound because he isn't worth keeping.
I wont do this. He's family.
He now sleeps, every night on what used to be her side of the bed.
A few years ago she wanted a kitten. I was never really an animal person and had never owned a cat before. One day, She hyped up our daughter about it until I finally said okay because I knew it would've been argued about time and time again unless we got one. Much to my landlord's dismay, we all went down to the pound the next morning and picked up a 2 week old tabby. Her and our daughter picked out the kitten then went home. I stayed to do all the paper work and waited while they cleaned his ears.
She loved that kitten. Right up until the point he became a cat.
He nipped a bit and was kind of frisky. My ex didn't like that. Her words to me were " I wanted something cuddly."
As he got bigger she disliked him more and more. One day out of the blue she completely disowned him. Her reasoning was that when she took our daughter home that day I f*cked something up then bought home the wrong cat.
Not the one she picked out so she simply stopped caring for him.
She decided one day to make him an outside cat and threw him out. We live in an urban area. Lots of strays, cars etc. Not something I wanted for him. Beside this we have kids and cats outside bring all sorts of dead animals in the house. He did well for about 2 weeks but one day came back injured.
I handled it. $200 to the vet but whatever. My cat has a life and deserves to live it.
Things got rough at my job one month later and I started working double shifts. She then quit feeding him because that wasn't her cat. This really upset me and I've been taking care of him every day since.
A thousand times this year I've been told by her to bring him back to the pound because he isn't worth keeping.
I wont do this. He's family.
He now sleeps, every night on what used to be her side of the bed.
On Valentine's Day 2011, Katie greeted me at the door when I came home from work and told me to come into the bedroom, she had something to show me...
She brought the kitten I named "Bella" into my life:
Bella will be the female in my life once AGF finds her own living space.
ETA, tried to add pic of Bella, failed.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 138
During my break up I sent my dog to my Mom's. I knew deep down he would hurt her and that would have killed me. I am sorry your going through this but I hope you see if they can hurt animals without feeling any guilt that is far sicker to me then there problems. Our animals cannot talk to tell us what is going on but they (significate others) can. I hope you get the help you need and keep him away from your pets. Stay strong
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
I'm late to the thread, but yes. AXH did hurt or threaten to hurt our pets. I'm not certain AXH's behavior towards them is related to his drinking (except for maybe his fish), but I am certain it was related to his abusive behavior.
He wouldn't let me take care of our cats. I wasn't allowed to clean out their box or give them food or water. I'd get in trouble with him if he found me doing any of those things. He usually did OK at remembering to feed and make sure they had water, but the litterbox... If I paid any attention to one of them while he was home, AXH would throw things at it later complaining that it "got into" something when it was just sitting in the living room.
The first time I left AXH after DS was born, our youngest cat mysteriously died. I don't know what AXH did, whether it was neglect or something else. He used to threaten that either he or one of his friends would take them out to the woods and make sure they didn't come back.
The last time I left him, he refused to let me take either of our cats, not even the cat that DS thought of as his kitty. I think he thought I'd stay since I couldn't take them. I left anyway. I don't know what happened to them other than right after they met, his GF took one of them to be put to sleep because it was 'sick'. And I only found out because she posted it on Facebook.
He wouldn't let me take care of our cats. I wasn't allowed to clean out their box or give them food or water. I'd get in trouble with him if he found me doing any of those things. He usually did OK at remembering to feed and make sure they had water, but the litterbox... If I paid any attention to one of them while he was home, AXH would throw things at it later complaining that it "got into" something when it was just sitting in the living room.
The first time I left AXH after DS was born, our youngest cat mysteriously died. I don't know what AXH did, whether it was neglect or something else. He used to threaten that either he or one of his friends would take them out to the woods and make sure they didn't come back.
The last time I left him, he refused to let me take either of our cats, not even the cat that DS thought of as his kitty. I think he thought I'd stay since I couldn't take them. I left anyway. I don't know what happened to them other than right after they met, his GF took one of them to be put to sleep because it was 'sick'. And I only found out because she posted it on Facebook.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hillsborough, NJ
Posts: 267
Originally Posted by theuncertainty
I'm late to the thread, but yes. AXH did hurt or threaten to hurt our pets. I'm not certain AXH's behavior towards them is related to his drinking (except for maybe his fish), but I am certain it was related to his abusive behavior.
He wouldn't let me take care of our cats. I wasn't allowed to clean out their box or give them food or water. I'd get in trouble with him if he found me doing any of those things. He usually did OK at remembering to feed and make sure they had water, but the litterbox... If I paid any attention to one of them while he was home, AXH would throw things at it later complaining that it "got into" something when it was just sitting in the living room.
The first time I left AXH after DS was born, our youngest cat mysteriously died. I don't know what AXH did, whether it was neglect or something else. He used to threaten that either he or one of his friends would take them out to the woods and make sure they didn't come back.
The last time I left him, he refused to let me take either of our cats, not even the cat that DS thought of as his kitty. I think he thought I'd stay since I couldn't take them. I left anyway. I don't know what happened to them other than right after they met, his GF took one of them to be put to sleep because it was 'sick'. And I only found out because she posted it on Facebook.
He wouldn't let me take care of our cats. I wasn't allowed to clean out their box or give them food or water. I'd get in trouble with him if he found me doing any of those things. He usually did OK at remembering to feed and make sure they had water, but the litterbox... If I paid any attention to one of them while he was home, AXH would throw things at it later complaining that it "got into" something when it was just sitting in the living room.
The first time I left AXH after DS was born, our youngest cat mysteriously died. I don't know what AXH did, whether it was neglect or something else. He used to threaten that either he or one of his friends would take them out to the woods and make sure they didn't come back.
The last time I left him, he refused to let me take either of our cats, not even the cat that DS thought of as his kitty. I think he thought I'd stay since I couldn't take them. I left anyway. I don't know what happened to them other than right after they met, his GF took one of them to be put to sleep because it was 'sick'. And I only found out because she posted it on Facebook.
I remember when I was leaving my ex he said I could go but the cat could stay...
Well, if you look to the left of this post, you can see how "seriously" I took him
:rotfxko
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
I couldn't take them and it breaks my heart. I feel like whatever happened to them was my fault. I thought I'd be able to go back, but they weren't there. I don't know where he put them until the GF took one to the vet. I don't even know where she got C from to take him to the vet.
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