Kandi25

Last night was rough. I was forced to confront my mother on her addiction about a week ago, and rather than face her problems and get help, she left. She is completely in denial over her addiction to Adderall and other uppers. She is in such poor health, having lost over a hundred pounds since she started taking them, that I fear for her life. It scares me even more that she is so in denial. How long and how bad does it have to get before she realizes how deep she is? I feel guilty about her being out on her own, basically homeless, when she has helped me so much in the past. I know that this is the right thing for me and my son, but I can't help feeling terrible about it. She calls me every day in tears, missing her grandson, who she has pretty much helped me raise the past two years. Her guilt trips are the worst.

On top of dealing with all of that, I found out that my father, who has been sober the past two years, relapsed once again on crack. He, unlike my mother, knows he is an addict and has been to rehab almost a dozen times. He is in an unhealthy relationship, trying to "save" his addict girlfriend, and instead she pulled him right down with her, like I told him she would. He called me crying yesterday because she got him to write a bunch of checks, and now he is going to be in serious trouble. As usual, he wants me to come save him. I know I can't, and it's killing me.

The past few days have been so trying, and it's bringing up so many things from my past I thought I've dealt with. My fiance is helping me be strong, but I just want to curl up and give up.

I know I need to let go of them both, but how do I convince myself that I am not condemning them by doing it?

LexieCat

Hugs! You are absolutely doing the right thing. I know many, many addicts who only got well when people quit bailing them out.

Your folks have options--you don't have to be one of them. Glad your fiance is being supportive. We support you, too--keep posting, and keep reading. It really can help.

Have you been to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon? Those can help a lot, too.

Kandi25

I am attending my first Nar-Anon meeting on Monday. I only feel like I want to throw up a little bit :p

Sasha4

I just want you to know you have my respect, love and support for what your going through.

You are right.
You cannot rescue them or save them.
Thats not your responsibility.
It is not fair on them to expect it.

As for the guilt trips, that something my mum does. I tend to ask her to stop as soon as she starts or have been know to walk downstairs and ring my own doorbell so I can say 'i have to go there is someone at the door'.

Thats just manipulation from her and it is mean.

I agree with Lexie.
Nar anon or alanon would be good for you although, like me you have your hands full with your child.
But if you could read some literature they recommend that might help too.

I wish you the best
xx

Kandi25

Thank you both so much. I have been reading a lot the last few days and I am going to go to Nar-Anon meetings to see if they help. <3