Do we just have to feel so sad sometimes, to heal?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 877
Originally Posted by Argnotthisagain 
You help me see that the lonliness is part of this healing process , so it doesn't need to feel so scary when I remind myself of that.
It's so interesting you say that because I have been so lonely during the past few days that the loneliness actually turned into two anxiety attacks. I was able to calm myself down pretty effectively by calling a friend in one case, and leaving the house in another. Still, it made me think. I don't think I ever saw the connection between loneliness and fear before.
Yes, the feelings ARE part of the healing process. They become less powerful and less frightening the more we allow ourselves to feel them, at least that is my experience. At first I felt like they would swallow me up, but now I feel like I have some distance from them.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by cr995
I went to Alanon tonight as always I'm always amazed about how apt the topic chosen to share on is so relevant to me - it was on 'Life after alcoholism'. !
I find once I start to feel good I just want it to continue .So when the bad feelings come I fight them which prolongs the whole thing, rather than just feeling them and getting it over an done with. the difficult part is knowing when to force yourself to get on with life and when to simply surrender to feeling bad.
I find once I start to feel good I just want it to continue .So when the bad feelings come I fight them which prolongs the whole thing, rather than just feeling them and getting it over an done with. the difficult part is knowing when to force yourself to get on with life and when to simply surrender to feeling bad.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 336
Yes you're absolutely right about this.
Not only that but I am starting to remember things with the A that happened which I did not want to acknowledge at the time because they were too painful . Horrible things that he said and did which I just pushed aside. Like how he said he hoped I would end up like my mum who had committed suicide or how he hoped I was blind after he punched me in the eye and I couldn't see properly.
It's like they have just been stacked in a queue waiting to be dealt with. I know that Alanon was initially a way or a group I went to, to learn how to deal with the A. But now, having come out of my own denial I have to say I have no interest in any kind of relationship with him, I know that I have to make myself alright and it's not a relationship with him that will do that.
It's not nice feeling so sad and lonely but I am so appalled at what I went through that I am ready to do just about anything to make myself healthy and no longer in pain. If happiness comes as well that will be a terrific bonus.
It's interesting to contemplate that loneliness and fear are linked. I suppose I have a fear that I will ALWAYS be lonely and maybe just need to surrender to it.!
Not only that but I am starting to remember things with the A that happened which I did not want to acknowledge at the time because they were too painful . Horrible things that he said and did which I just pushed aside. Like how he said he hoped I would end up like my mum who had committed suicide or how he hoped I was blind after he punched me in the eye and I couldn't see properly.
It's like they have just been stacked in a queue waiting to be dealt with. I know that Alanon was initially a way or a group I went to, to learn how to deal with the A. But now, having come out of my own denial I have to say I have no interest in any kind of relationship with him, I know that I have to make myself alright and it's not a relationship with him that will do that.
It's not nice feeling so sad and lonely but I am so appalled at what I went through that I am ready to do just about anything to make myself healthy and no longer in pain. If happiness comes as well that will be a terrific bonus.
It's interesting to contemplate that loneliness and fear are linked. I suppose I have a fear that I will ALWAYS be lonely and maybe just need to surrender to it.!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
