wolfpackfan45

I comment on posts here occasionally, but have never really told my story, so here goes. I hope it can give hope & encouragement to someone out there. I'm a wife, mother & teacher. On the outside I look like I have it all together. On the inside it's been a different story. My daughter was diagnosed with a crippling & painful degenerative hip disease in 1 hip at the age of 5. She ended up in leg braces & in horrible pain for years. No running, jumping, or weight bearing for years. It was so heartbreaking to watch. During this time I did pt on her twice a day. My husband had a heart attack soon after her diagnoses (he was 42) & a triple bypass. As soon as I got him through that his father died & my father was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer My husband ends up back in the hospital having surgery on another issue. We thought we'd managed to get my daughter through her issue with her hip, but she started having pain in the other hip. We were told she was a medical oddity because we were now dealing with the same condition in her other hip 6 years later. My father dies. We move several times due to my husband's job. When my daughter was in college she got to the point where she was falling down all the time & was in hideous pain. She could hardly walk anymore. She'd had numerous surgeries on her hip already & we were told the only option for her was to have her hips replaced. One was done while she was in college, the other the summer before she was to start medical school. She wasn't even 23 years old. I figured life couldn't get any more difficult, but the joke's on me! My daughter goes off to med school & my son starts college. Several months after my son leaves my husband gets ill. Congestive heart failure. Several months later he gets laid off from his job with a major pharmaceutical firm. He'd been there over 30 years. No thank you from the company. No retirement party. But we make it on my teacher's salary. We're thankful for that. My daughter is engaged to be married, but 2 months before the wedding she finds out her fiance has been hiding the fact that he's bankrupt , jobless, & in legal trouble . He duped us all. We loved him. He steals her savings . We lost all the money we'd paid for her wedding & she's despondent. She graduates medical school , & is excited to start her residency, but feels ill all the time. She's been wearing a heart monitor due to passing out & she's as thin as a rail. Her Dr. tests for lymphoma. We find out she had metal toxicity from her metal hip implants, & it's even causing her kidneys & heart to have issues. Her orthopedist orders emergency surgery to replace both hips within 2 weeks of finding out. She has to start her residency in 6 weeks time or she loses it. I go back to FL with her to move her in her new apt after the surgery, & drive her to work (she still on pain meds). I then find out my mom has colon cancer just like my dad did. She has to have surgery. I have to go in to get tested asap. I'm clear. Thank you God. A month later I get a call from the hospital in the town where my son attends college. He was taken to the hospital via ambulance. Alcohol. Dear God help us. They detox him there & we go get him. He's lost 35 pounds, has the tremors & looks like death. My youngest child, my sweet, sensitive son is an alcoholic. He also suffers from panic attacks & anxiety disorder. I'm devastated. My beautiful children are suffering so. I can't bear it anymore. In addition to starting the new school year as a teacher(always so stressful and very long hours) I spend my evenings sitting in parking lots waiting for him while he's in AA meetings. He can't drive himself because he's on meds for 2 weeks during the remainder of his detox period. I start having anxiety issues & panic attacks. I don't want to go on with life. I've never been so tired or so discouraged. Seriously. It got to the point that every time the phone rang I'd have panic & would run out of the house in fear that something else had happened.
The purpose of this rather long story is not to whine or play the "woe is me" card. The purpose is to show that there is hope. We're stronger than we think. Our Higher Power is there for us. We can do hard things. Because I'm still here. I made it & I'm not a strong person. There's nothing particularly special about me. I'm your average middle class mom a/wife. But with God's help & the help of Al Anon, the medical community, & friends I made it. I got through it. I called my Dr. & went in to see him because i can hardly function anymore. Diagnosis: a form of post traumatic stress disorder & depression. From so many years of so many hurtful & painful things involving the people I love. He put me on antidepressants, & I went to see a therapist. I still see him. I attend AlAnon meetings. I work the program & read literature. I meditate ,read my Bible, & pray. I exercise. I asked God to help me through all this, & He did. My daughter is doing well & in her 2nd year of a surgical residency. She is engaged again to a very kind man who treats her well. My son is 8 months sober, back in college & doing well. He attends AA and does volunteer work . My husband's heart failure is under control. My mother is still alive & cancer free. I'm still alive too. I stepped back and surrendered it all to my Higher Power. I simply couldn't carry it anymore. Work it out He did, & He continues to do. He's been faithful & good to us. I'm thankful to my Higher Power, to Al Anon, & to my friends who walked through the fire with me. I hope my story gives someone out there some hope. Who knows what the future will bring. Does it scare me? Sometimes, yes. But I know we'll get through it. You can too.

fedupbeyondall

Wow big giant hugs. Big, tight hugs.

sadielady

Wow, wolfpackfan, you are an incredibly strong woman and have endured so much. What an amazing spirit you show in your post. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and I send you big hugs and a huge SR round of support. Thank you for sharing the message of hope and endurance too.

HopefulmomtoD

Welcome, wolfpack! Wow, you have endured lots of pain of loved ones! Its so true that we can deal with so much more than we would ever be able to tolerate when we have no other choice. So happy things are looking up with your family. Thanks for sharing!

catlovermi

WOW! Sending support, and warm hugs!

CLMI

bobbysocks

hugs to you. you WILL make it! we ALL WILL!!

KittyH

.............. I am stunned. You may be an angel on this earth and surely are to your family. I am over whelmed with your story and in tears. I am sending love and best wishes to you and your family. I believe in Karma and you are truly an old and wise soul. May your troubles be thru with you and your road paved and strong from here on

Seren

Sending you and your whole family many warm and gentle hugs and very special prayers! Thank you so much for sharing your story--I believe you have helped more people than you realize.

lizatola

Thank you for sharing your story. Hearing the positive is always motivating for me to encourage me to keep going, even when I feel that life is dragging me down. Hugs to you! Have a very blessed Sunday today!

Brokentapestry

Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear it. What really spoke to me is the reminder to surrender it all to your HP. When I feel like I'm overburdened, and carrying too much, that is when I've stolen my worries back from God. I know this. But,I forget it. Thanks for the reminder. Going to 're-surrender right now....

OnawaMiniya

You are one strong soul. I'm amazed.

Saying a prayer for you, that you have peace and strength always. You are special.

((((((((((((((((((((Wolfpackfan))))))))))))))))))) )

Kimmieh

Thank you! I really needed this today!