Seren

Hello iwh,

Welcome to SR! I am very glad that you have decided to make some changes in your life for your own health, peace, and joy. As you have experienced, we sometimes get a bit of 'pushback' from family members when we begin to change. Unfortunately, we cannot make our family members change--just ourselves.

Many of the members who post here in the 'Friends and Family of Alcoholics' forum are double or triple winners (alcoholism, codependency, and adult children of alcohlics), so believe me when I say that we get it.

Many of our members currently have husbands, wives, significant others, and children who struggle with addiction. Many of us have been told how it was our fault that the alcoholic in our lives drank. Many of us who have an active alcoholic in our lives have also been abused as children and as adults--again, we get it.

However, if we, the friends and family of an alcoholic, were powerful enough to cause the alcoholic to drink, then we should be powerful enough to get them to stop--and we are not.

I would also like to remind everyone that if you feel yourself getting angry by what someone says here, then it is time to walk away from the keyboard for a while and perhaps place that person on your Ignore List. If you believe a post has violated a Rule or Policy, then please report it and we will take care of it.

Since most folks have already had an opportunity to share their experience and opinion, this thread is now closed.