i apologize for coming off like the jerk, but psychology is here to stay it seems...
Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink.
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Posts: 119
no. i do go to meetings but i need out sometimes & i kiss the ground that SR walks on for it.
i go to meetings and i just can't get to the level of talking like everyone else yet.
now i'm supposed to second guess what i just said. there was nothing offensive about it and i mean nothing offensive about it.
i'm in a tricky situation until i find a therapist to work with. even then, i would like sober friends to help keep sober.
SR's good like that.
thank you all for your responses. if you need help with anything feel free to ask me.
i'm really not new at sobriety, alcohol or life.
thanks.
i go to meetings and i just can't get to the level of talking like everyone else yet.
now i'm supposed to second guess what i just said. there was nothing offensive about it and i mean nothing offensive about it.
i'm in a tricky situation until i find a therapist to work with. even then, i would like sober friends to help keep sober.
SR's good like that.
thank you all for your responses. if you need help with anything feel free to ask me.
i'm really not new at sobriety, alcohol or life.
thanks.
Hi iwh,
After reading your posts, I am not getting the feeling that you are trying to blame your parents. I am getting the feeling that you want to understand how a dysfunctional family can mess you up. I feel that you are trying to look at your alcoholism from the beginning and trying to learn about yourself.
Reason I am thinking this, is because a friend of mine is also looking for answers. He doesn't want to blame his parents, justs wants an understanding for why he thinks the way he does sometimes, why he reacts the way he does sometimes. He is looking at all the abuse he went through as a child, and he is beginning to re-parent himself.
I may be totally off-base here, but this is what I was feeling while reading your post.
You stated your childhood was abusive, and a lot of what goes on in an abusive childhood is very similar to growing up with an alcoholic. First, not all alcoholics are abusive, and not all abusive people are alcoholics.
Will back off now since I may be totally off-base.
After reading your posts, I am not getting the feeling that you are trying to blame your parents. I am getting the feeling that you want to understand how a dysfunctional family can mess you up. I feel that you are trying to look at your alcoholism from the beginning and trying to learn about yourself.
Reason I am thinking this, is because a friend of mine is also looking for answers. He doesn't want to blame his parents, justs wants an understanding for why he thinks the way he does sometimes, why he reacts the way he does sometimes. He is looking at all the abuse he went through as a child, and he is beginning to re-parent himself.
I may be totally off-base here, but this is what I was feeling while reading your post.
You stated your childhood was abusive, and a lot of what goes on in an abusive childhood is very similar to growing up with an alcoholic. First, not all alcoholics are abusive, and not all abusive people are alcoholics.
Will back off now since I may be totally off-base.
Can you perhaps tell us a little more about yourself, how old are you? would you say that you are a codependent? I don't know, just a little more about you so that we can get to know you better.
Also did you check out the forum right below this one for friends and family adult children of alcoholics? Even though you said that you parents are not alcoholics, I think you might be able to relate to that section.
The friend I was talking about started in AA, still goes, but he also added in 2 ACOA/ACA meetings each week.
Also did you check out the forum right below this one for friends and family adult children of alcoholics? Even though you said that you parents are not alcoholics, I think you might be able to relate to that section.
The friend I was talking about started in AA, still goes, but he also added in 2 ACOA/ACA meetings each week.
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haha, not sure what to do now other then sort it out in therapy. fist bump? be my sponsor? anyway, i know i come off rude in type, but i say these things with humor as someone else noticed. i mean no offense, it's how i talk, i'm a city person or something.
that was brilliant amy.
to be extremely honest i have a total 'now what' mind now.
'thanks'? like that's not enough, but thanks.
very good analysis, now what...
you've stumped and relieved me, i'm sure some will get a kick out of the former.
i guess if anything, credit your work. i know it wasn't easy to just sum it up like that or to have that gift, so thank you for sharing it.
any advice on what to do next from anyone is appreciated, but i understand it really depends a lot on what happens too.
i try to only ramble like this on my own threads, i'm friendly even if rude sometimes, it's how i am.
peace, love and thank yous to everyone.
that was brilliant amy.
to be extremely honest i have a total 'now what' mind now.
'thanks'? like that's not enough, but thanks.
very good analysis, now what...
you've stumped and relieved me, i'm sure some will get a kick out of the former.
i guess if anything, credit your work. i know it wasn't easy to just sum it up like that or to have that gift, so thank you for sharing it.
any advice on what to do next from anyone is appreciated, but i understand it really depends a lot on what happens too.
i try to only ramble like this on my own threads, i'm friendly even if rude sometimes, it's how i am.
peace, love and thank yous to everyone.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 119
i started writing a lot and being very honest about it in textedit. not that it would be censored, but i don't know if i should share this stuff online. i recently had an issue with that.
i could PM it, but i know that makes it no fun for everyone, lol.
what do i do, i can maybe censor some, but then people will be like 'oh, no problem here', i can't. WTF
WTF
i either show it here or bring it elsewhere, unless you present other options.
i could PM it, but i know that makes it no fun for everyone, lol.
what do i do, i can maybe censor some, but then people will be like 'oh, no problem here', i can't. WTF
WTF
i either show it here or bring it elsewhere, unless you present other options.
Please, just share with us what you feel comfortable with. Also, please note, I am not a therapist. I picked up on that so fast, because I am going through this with a friend. I just listen to him, I don't try to theraparize him. (Don't think theraparize is even a word). What you were saying just sounded familiar to me. He wants to work on his whole self, not just the stop drinking part of it. He is almost 7 months sober. If you feel comfortable talking to me, a pm is ok. Just know I am not a therapist, I am a good listener, and I have a lot of empathy.
But also, keep posting here as much as you feel comfortable with. There are many people here with a lot of wisdom, a lot more then me.
BTW, I was a previous city girl, now live in the country.
But also, keep posting here as much as you feel comfortable with. There are many people here with a lot of wisdom, a lot more then me.
BTW, I was a previous city girl, now live in the country.
I have known hundreds of alcoholics in my life, but I've never known anyone who became an alcoholic because of his/her upbringing.
And I'm not about to blame anyone for being an alcoholic--I'm five years sober, myself. Nobody asks to become an alcoholic.
Still, it doesn't really matter what "made" you an alcoholic--the solution still requires hard work by YOU to change. And having a dysfunctional family doesn't make you an exception to that. Plenty of alcoholics recover despite having dysfunctional families. What are you doing for your own recovery?
And I'm not about to blame anyone for being an alcoholic--I'm five years sober, myself. Nobody asks to become an alcoholic.
Still, it doesn't really matter what "made" you an alcoholic--the solution still requires hard work by YOU to change. And having a dysfunctional family doesn't make you an exception to that. Plenty of alcoholics recover despite having dysfunctional families. What are you doing for your own recovery?
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