Never ceases to amaze me....

Old 07-08-2013, 02:46 PM
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My emotional baggage
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Never ceases to amaze me....

Well, I find it so weird that I can have a restraining order against my STBXAH, he does not get to call the boys, we call him once a week, he only has supervised visits, and that he can STILL bring so much joy to our lives!

Last week, I was emailed a Hardship letter from the realtor for our short sale of the family home. My STBXAH had written it and they needed my signature on it to submit to the bank. Well it was amazing. He turned a medical issue I went into remission for over two years ago into the reason we are losing the house, not the lawyer bills or that he has not worked for over a year. He wrote the bank that I am deeply depressed and on anxiety and depression medication. That the costs have been phenominal.....(PS, I am not on any medications. except for about a month or two right before I left)

Funny thing is it was a idiopathic illness (they don't know what caused it) that started in the middle of the end of our relationship when his drinking was completely out of control. And amazingly went away a month after I moved out...Strange. (This was written in sarcastic font.)

Anyway, I told the realtor that I would not sign it. It was all lies. She said this is just for the bank and has nothing to do with the divorce. I told her, "Sure, but then he will have a document I signed confirming lies that I am heavily medicated and have an ongoing illness."

I stood my ground, and they got him to sign a document I put together.

Then he called at the last minute on Saturday and cancelled the visit with our boys. Fine but we had been invited to a number of events for the fourth, and had said we couldn't go because of his visit.

To top it off, Sunday was the night the boys call him. Well shockingly, he was lit. He could hardly talk on the phone. I could tell he was on the verge of passing out. My poor ten year old, was very concerned about him and assumed he was overdoing it because he sounded so tired.

I have a court order to record the phone conversations. I heard the call. He was drunk, very drunk.

How is someone that has so little contact in our lives, get to still have such a big influence on us!

Sorry just needed to rant!~

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Old 07-08-2013, 03:47 PM
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Wow, 4, I am SOOO proud of you! You are calling it all perfectly. And even with the ridiculous BS that is getting past your "no contact," you are clearheaded and, dammit, HANDLING it.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I think you are doing an AWESOME job!
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Old 07-08-2013, 04:30 PM
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My emotional baggage
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Thanks Lexie! It is not easy....

I took the recording of the phone conversation and emailed it to the boys attorney. I explained what had happened this weekend, and kept it short and to the point just stating facts.

At this point, I just do my part to inform others of his madness and try to stay out of it.

She did send me a reply to Thank me for sending it on and let me know she was forwarding it to my older son's councelor.

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Old 07-08-2013, 05:19 PM
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4MyBoys---wow, you are getting to be a real veteran at handling this!!! I know how hard it is (past personal experience).

Narcissistic and sociopathic addicts are wicked. They have no empathy and no conscience. I can't think of enough bad to say.......

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Old 07-08-2013, 06:09 PM
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Good for you for not agreeing to sign that letter! Who cares if its for the Tooth Fairy - it would be an admittance to your ongoing and heavily taxing fantasy illness.

Well done!

You are rocking this!
~T
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Old 07-08-2013, 06:48 PM
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So sorry you are going through this & good for you for not signing a load of rubbish.
You are the strong parent.
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Old 07-08-2013, 06:53 PM
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STBXAH..... that stands for Soon To Be Ex A** H***, right?

And isn't it amazing what having a painful growth removed can do for your health?

; )
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Old 07-09-2013, 12:09 PM
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My emotional baggage
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Originally Posted by OnawaMiniya View Post
STBXAH..... that stands for Soon To Be Ex A** H***, right?

And isn't it amazing what having a painful growth removed can do for your health?

; )
Love it! That will be my new internal name for him!

He was my MOPP. My Own Personal Psycho, STBXAH your way sounds so much more civilized!

Thanks!
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Old 07-09-2013, 01:26 PM
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STBXAH..... that stands for Soon To Be Ex A** H***, right?
Someone on another board where I post thought it meand "sh*tbox" -- I kind of like that interpretation, too.
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Old 07-09-2013, 01:32 PM
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So glad you didnt sign the letter he wrote.
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