NYCDoglvr

Doesn't sound like you're willing to let go, even though a relationship with an alcoholic is impossible. Alanon?

alybally

Is that to me or the OP? I've let go, had to. Just still healing.

Impossible it is...

AnvilheadII

sometimes stuff just doesn't work out the way we wanted or hoped or dreamed. even IF it seemed like it could. the older we get, the more we have the opportunity to SEE that.........we think in the midst of the breakup that life as we thought we knew it over....and in many ways it is.....our lives, our perspective, our beliefs CHANGE over time.......its the waiting for that time to catch up that can be so painful.

imagine if we got to KEEP every person who had EVER been in our lives.....every parent, grandparent, sibling, cousin, classmate, teacher, grocery clerk, auto mechanic, barista..........the list is ENDLESS of people who have come thru our lives in some fashion. and we hold on to some more tightly than others......and perhaps MISS the message the others bring. perhaps the woman that got on the elevator at floor 3 on our way to 32 was thinking her life was crap and what was the point - and then we toss out casually NICE SHOES......and in that moment she feel recognized.....SEEN, KNOWN....and her shoes become her touchstone to stay anchored to this world...........

what else is going on in our lives that we are NOT seeing??

ad0117

I'm so glad I came across this thread tonight! I'm going through this same thing right now and it is the worst pain I've ever experienced. My XAB and I never officially broke up, but he just faded away after we were together 3 years. I wrote a whole post on this back in August. The short of it is he went to rehab, wrote me a letter saying I'm the love of his life and he promised to make things right with me. Well, since he's been out, he's only made things worse. He went on tinder two weeks after he got out of treatment and met someone new. He ended up moving in with her not long after that and now they are moving to Florida together and getting married. And they met in April!!! He has completely shut me out of his life and seems to have erased everything from our lives together from his memory. As I'm sure many of you can relate, it is the most painful heartache. It's not easy letting go. I still love him so much, but know there is nothing more I can do except pray for him. I, too, fell in love with a completely different person. Now he's someone I don't even recognize. I often wonder, also, if he will ever come back and try to make things right, like he said. I can't count on it, but it sure would be nice to hear him say how sorry he is and explain himself.

steve11694

maybe or maybe not. the alcoholics brain is fried or more applicably pickled. the best approach is probably not to try to figure out why they do the things they do because there is no logic or reason .